Social Worker Problems :'(

StressedAndDepressed

blue_monkey wrote: »

Agreed Toto, they would be interested in ALL the kids, not just the eldest and getting him to move out which is why I asked if they all had the same dad.
Eldest 2 have same dad (ex husband) youngest 2 same dad (current husband).

What about paternal grandparents and relations? Could any of them work in an environment that could somehow end up involving social workers - especially for all of those things to happen. Maybe they have asked to see your son and you have said no and so they have dragged it up again?
Only paternal relation is a grandfather but he is seriously ill and barely able to talk, never refused access, tried to encourage it but their dad is not interested.

The other thing nagging at my brain is, is this woman actually a REAL social worker? Are you sure this is not someone fake? With a fake ID? Have you called the SS and asked to speak to her? Have you spoken to someone other than her in SS to verify she is the person she says she is? Have you always had the same SW or is this someone different?

This one is different, she says she is the other one's manager, husband spoke to her when he phoned up the social workers department.


This site might be useful OP: Why not give them a call and speak to them on Monday.

Thank you, I will give them a ring on Monday morning (won't let me repost the link ), will be contacting the school and the social worker department also to try and sort this out once and for all, hopefully.

StressedAndDepressed

rachbc wrote: »

Are you sure SW actually saw son and son is not pulling a fast one? Or simply 'misunderstood' what SW has said. IME Children's services Social Care are very reluctant to take on anyone over 16. At 16 if he lived alone he could claim benefits (Income Support and HB) so there is no reason social care should be expecting you to pay for it.

I couldn't understand it but my from what my son is claiming she seems determined to pull our family apart, I have to admit it does feel like it's personal rather than professional , or my son is making up some great big story that has got her pulling out her hair.
I just do not understand why she will not tell us what the allegations are or why she did not tell us that the visit had taken place.
She claims he is the most depressed 17 year old she has ever met!, He goes to school, out with his friends, has just got a Saturday job and as a long time anti-depressant user I do not see any of the symptoms in him.

StressedAndDepressed

Kay_Peel wrote: »

I suspect that your 17 year old son knows more about this than he's letting on.

He was interviewed at school rather than in your presence. I only know of a couple of reasons why that would happen
- the child requested it because they felt better able to talk freely without the parents there
He claims to have had no contact with them, that they just turned uy at school.
- it's in the interests of the child, for instance where parents are unco-operative or obstructive
We would have had to have know about it to be obstructive or uncooperative which we didn't, and we cooperated fully last time.
Lo and behold, your son claims that they recommended that he should get his own flat! Did he say why they thought this? What was the problem that he raised with them and that made them think of this solution?
He claims she would not tell him why she was interviewing him, and that she felt it was essential for him to move out of home, the more I think the more I suspect he involved in trying to get his own place
They may be treating the information that he gave them in confidence and that's why they are stonewalling you and being evasive.
But surely if accusations are being made against us, we have a right to be informed, if only to prepare ourselves.

Have another word with him - you might find that he's phoned Childline.

When he decides to come home I think we will be having a sit down and a serious talk about whether he was involved and if so what he hoped to gain from it.

Sambucus_Nigra

StressedAndDepressed wrote: »

When he decides to come home I think we will be having a sit down and a serious talk about whether he was involved and if so what he hoped to gain from it.

You could call his bluff and say, yes son; you are free to move out. Shall we get packing right now, where do you think you are sleeping tonight?

RacyRed

blue_monkey wrote: »

The other thing nagging at my brain is, is this woman actually a REAL social worker? Are you sure this is not someone fake? With a fake ID? Have you called the SS and asked to speak to her? Have you spoken to someone other than her in SS to verify she is the person she says she is? Have you always had the same SW or is this someone different?

I think you need to find yourself a solicitor ASAP as well and get them to find out what is going on.
.

That thought flashed in neon across my mind too. Are you absolutely certain that the number your OH called was social services? Did this new manager provide the number or did you find it yourselves? Cross reference it with publicly available numbers. Then double check to make sure she is a qualified social worker and not just someone with access to their office - call HER boss and double check, explain that you find her behaviour irrational and are very concerned about her apparent attempt to manipulate your son without adequate explanation.

Why on earth would a social worker be trying to get a 17 y/o to leave home.... *shudder*

Something is seriously not right with the behaviour of this person. Get a solicitor or CAB involved as soon as you can.

At the very least you will be seen to be concerned and caring of your son. Don't let assumed authority hoodwink you.

You could maybe discuss your plans to have this person checked out with your son and see if that throws any further light on the matter?

Willow92

This all seems so weird! I hope it all gets sorted though coz it must be driving you mental

paulwellerfan

Honestly as a social worker we dont want to pull families apart.
that the hype the DM would like you to believe.
if i were you
i would find out
why they wanted to give your son a flat- unless he is ether accom under section 20 or a care order i cant see the point.
maybe you do need to make a complaint- i would recommend IAS least they are independent. get in touch with SW team on monday and ask them the above question

paulwellerfan

and why would CAFCASS be involved??
there aint any court proceedings are there?
Cafcass was set up on 1st April 2001 under the provisions of the Criminal Justice and Court Services Act which brought together the family court services previously provided by the Family Court Welfare Service, the Guardian ad Litem Service and the Children’s Division of the Official Solicitor’s Office.
We are a non-departmental public body accountable to Michael Gove, MP, the Secretary of State for Education in the Department for Education (DfE). We work within the strategic objectives agreed by our sponsor department and contribute to wider government objectives relating to children.

Cafcass stands for Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service.

Cafcass is independent of the courts, social services, education and health authorities and all similar agencies.

The remit
We operate within the law set by Parliament and under the rules and directions of the family courts. Our role is to:

• safeguard and promote the welfare of children
• give advice to the family courts
• make provision for children to be represented
• provide information, advice and support to children and their families.

sock-knitter

something isnt right here, sounds to me like your son has made things up in order to get his own flat
apologies if i am wrong
once he moves out, you will no longer be responsible for him financially, took me a long time to find this out, but i had to as both my sons left home at 16

Amyrose

I think at this point it is important to get across to your son how serious this situation is. You could have the younger children removed from your home. I would tell him, if he were mine, that I was going to contact a solicitor for help, and that if he had anything he wanted to tell you now was the time to do it. I seriously get the feeling that you have to be firm here and stand your ground. But also make sure everything else involving your family is shipshape and that there is nothing for them (SS) to be so concerned about. And that the difficulties with you and your 17 year old is yours to deal with. I really can’t see SS getting this involved because of a 17 year old unless he went to them with some stories, perhaps egged on by his mates.