Social Worker Problems :'(

colli

when I was doing my A levels I got caught skipping school and mummbled something about being too tired because of my job. I did work a couple of shifts a week in the local pub for a bit of pocket money but I must have given the impression our family needed the money as the lovely teacher spent the time digging out phone numbers and details of people who could help As I'd got myself into a bit of a hole I let him carry on thinking it rather than correct him. My parents would have been horrified if they'd known.

Is it possible your son has done similar? Got caught in a spot of bother and laid things on a bit thick to try and wriggle out of it? Once things start to snnowball it's very hard to go backwards.

lovecrafting

I was under a care ordedr until i was 21 and still had a nightmare getting SS to get me a flat. I really hope you get it sorted out hun, i understand the nightmare that can be social services. because i was still under a care order when i had my first child it took me years to shake them off. it still petrifies me even to this day, whenever we see the health visitor with the younger one or the midwife i panic thinking they are going to come and make my life a living hell again..

blue_monkey_2

Hmm, I am orry we have put these things into your head - I can imagine that you are going insane thinking all of these things.

I would sit down and ask your son what he wants and if he wants to move out then now is the time to say and he is welcome to do that. I would also explain to him that financially you will not be responsible for him, even if he is at school, and he will have to claim benefits to get by on, once he leaves then he has to survive himself so the SW was incorrect, or he got the wrong end of the stick, because he can leave today and you would not be responsible for him.

If the SW were that concerned they would have been round already, not making appointments to come back and they would want to see all of you not a 17 yo.

You might want to tell him about the hostels that are also occupied by druggies and alcoholics - they are certainly not a fun place to choose to live.

And if he DID start this - kick his ar-se BIG time! Take away everything you pay for (TV, phone, etc..) and ground him for a month see how far he gets without you then.

lovecrafting

after re reading my post i think i should apologise i didnt mean to put ideas into your head.

Spendless

How strange. My friend did get SW coming round to her house after her son said something at school (he was 4 and a bit of a fantasy-teller). They looked round her house but not in her drawers, or in her cupboards.

Other than your 17yo knowing more than he is letting on, they have got the right child haven't they? You haven't got a common surname and your son a popular first name? I know that would be bizarre, but the story sounds bizarre. Did you ask your son's school. 'can I clarify that it was actually SW that called to see my son, as I have no idea why and I don't wish to be thinking bogus people are turning up on your premises?'

lovecrafting

is there any news on this at all?

sunshine_1988

Hi OP

I am no SW, but I do work in a complaints section for social care. I would in my opinion there is more to it than you have been told, either a serious refferal was made where the only option was to interview your son on his own, and the ideal place for that would be school. I think I am right in saying that if there are genuine safeguarding concerns then a SW can interview a child alone without a parent present. Perhaps your ex has made some kind of allegation...would anything have set him off?

Your son could well have made a referall himself...I dont know anything about him so I cant say whether he would or not.

If you wish to complaint, all I would say is list your individual complaints and more importantly what outcome you want out of making a complaint. This is the most important part as if your outcome is not achiveable it is unfrotunately pointless making a complaint. So would you like an apology? An explanation?

As you have PR for your son, you would be entitled to see what exactly is held on the file. Unless of course it was deemed unsuitable for you to see if any allegations had been made? Has the SW completed an initial assesment or anything if the case was reopened? If so, you should see a copy.

Call the SW office and ask to speak to them, see what they come up with. If they fail to communicate with you, add that to your complaint. x

StressedAndDepressed

sunshine_1988 wrote: »

Hi OP

I am no SW, but I do work in a complaints section for social care. I would in my opinion there is more to it than you have been told, either a serious refferal was made where the only option was to interview your son on his own, and the ideal place for that would be school. I think I am right in saying that if there are genuine safeguarding concerns then a SW can interview a child alone without a parent present. Perhaps your ex has made some kind of allegation...would anything have set him off?
Anything would set him off because even though he has no interest in the kids he likes to make my life hell even after 10 years .

Your son could well have made a referall himself...I dont know anything about him so I cant say whether he would or not.
He claims to be happy here and no matter how much I try to explain the implications of anything he has made up to get his own place he still sticks to the original story.

If you wish to complaint, all I would say is list your individual complaints and more importantly what outcome you want out of making a complaint. This is the most important part as if your outcome is not achiveable it is unfrotunately pointless making a complaint. So would you like an apology? An explanation?
An explanation as to why they are visiting my son after another social worker said everything was fine, why they won't talk to me, why they did not tell me they were going / had been to see my son, just tell me what is meant to have happened and why the school are making false allegation as to us refusing to co-operate with them when they never contacted us!

As you have PR for your son, you would be entitled to see what exactly is held on the file. Unless of course it was deemed unsuitable for you to see if any allegations had been made? Has the SW completed an initial assesment or anything if the case was reopened? If so, you should see a copy.
As far as I know no assessment has been completed, the only reason I knew anything was happening was when my son came home and said she had been to the school, I left it several days before phoning the department to ask why thinking they wold contact me, they didn't. When I did get them on the phone they would not give me a reason other than they were re-looking at old cases and that as it was "dormant" for 5 years they are within their rights to, is this correct? It just does not make sense.

Call the SW office and ask to speak to them, see what they come up with. If they fail to communicate with you, add that to your complaint. x

Have called them, first time they were evasive to say the least and the second time I was told she was out of office and no-one other than her could speak to me regarding the case.

Other than that I have found out that she interviewed my son on his own just the two of them, is this normal?

She never mentioned in our phonecall that she has arranged to go to the school again on wednesday and every 2 weeks, telling my son that there is plenty of time to sort out him moving out of home when he told her he was happy here.

Is it normal for social workers to ask children the reason for their parents splitting up 10 years ago? I am absolutely fuming over this, my son does not know why we split and I would rather he did not. If she needed to know that why not ask me?!

The inclusion welfare officer stopped my son at the bottom of our street to "talk" to him about the social worker, I found this really creepy that she possibly followed him home and worrying that it could not be discussed in school? I have issued a complaint to the school about this as I find it disturbing.

She will not answer any of my questions, avoids my phonecalls and has not even informed me that she or her department are involved with my son. Surely this is not a normal way for them to behave?

blue_monkey_2

Have you spoken to the school?

And a solicitor?

And HER manager. She must answer to someone - find out who.

If your ex likes to make your life hell then I would be pointing the finger right at him I am afraid. When does your son turn 18?

Is there ANY way that your ex could be in a relationship with this SW?

You really do need a solicitor to help you with this I am afraid. Get one ASAP and get them to find out what the hell is going on. Please do it today and find out the legalities of this, not just what we all might think. That is not the right sort of help you need.

StressedAndDepressed

Spendless wrote: »

How strange. My friend did get SW coming round to her house after her son said something at school (he was 4 and a bit of a fantasy-teller). They looked round her house but not in her drawers, or in her cupboards.

Other than your 17yo knowing more than he is letting on, they have got the right child haven't they? You haven't got a common surname and your son a popular first name? I know that would be bizarre, but the story sounds bizarre. Did you ask your son's school. 'can I clarify that it was actually SW that called to see my son, as I have no idea why and I don't wish to be thinking bogus people are turning up on your premises?'

My son has a very common surname and a common first name, I don't think they have mixed him up with someone else though as they knew the details of his brothers, although they didn't speak to his brother who is in the same school so who knows.

Honestly I did start to think maybe he was involved but he got so upset when I started going through the scenario's if he moved out, problem getting to and from school, lack of money, giving up job, etc he swears it is nothing to do with him.
And to be honest with the strange stuff I found out about the Inclusion attendance officer at his school I believe him. Odd thing is he hasn't missed a day of school for 5 years so no problems there!

It really is getting more bizarre by the day, I'm starting to think I'm having some sort of nightmare and none of this is real .