AIBU to expect OH to make his money last til payday?

euronorris

Kay_Peel wrote: »

Do you find it offensive because it is a reflection upon your judgement?

Personally, I find it a bit irrelevant at this point.

The baby IS coming, it's too late to change that, and the OP did not ask for help on assessing her life choices, so I don't see what benefit there is to be had in making the comment that ONW did.

BugglyB

I find it worrying that you have a 'I dont see why I should do that for him' attitude - that kind of attitude swiftly rots a relationship. Perhaps you feel like that because he does so little to help you and support you and thats understandable, but its only going to get worse when baby arrives.

GemmaE

My Dh earns a lot more money than me, although only due to reducing my working hours to look after our DD. Up until 6 months ago we split everything 50/50, to the point where I was having to use Child benefit to fuel my car. DH couldn't see how he could afford to pay anymore, but after a heart to heart we agreed to not have 'my' money and our salaries are paid into our joint account, all bills, fuel and food comes from that account and we 'pay' each other £200 a month to cover mobile phones, gym membership, DDs clubs/ clothes, going out etc etc, and this seems to be working.

We are both somehow better off and are building up (very slowly) a small bank of savings in our joint account for emergencies.

Even though DH earns more than me he is always a lot tighter as his outgoings are more expensive, and recently he needed to be bailed out as he had been hiding a huge overdraft. I set him up with internet banking, through which he realised he had money in an ISA he had forgotten about which wiped out pretty much all of his debt. He hated me taking charge, but once it was done it was done and now we are reaping the benefits, ie able to manage our money a lot more effectively.

OP- would this kind of one hit approach maybe sort things out, or at least take all of the pressure of your OH so he has no excuse? I hope you get this resolved, I know money issues can break relationships very easily, so please try and resolve this before your baby arrives, it will hopefully take some of the financial worries of having a family once they arrive.

January20

BugglyB wrote: »

I find it worrying that you have a 'I dont see why I should do that for him' attitude - that kind of attitude swiftly rots a relationship. Perhaps you feel like that because he does so little to help you and support you and thats understandable, but its only going to get worse when baby arrives.

I can see why she has that attitude. It is frustrating to live with an adult man who behaves like a child and can't be bothered to do things that could make both their lives easier. Yes, she could do it for him because they would both benefit in the long run, but why doesn't he do it in the first place since it's him that needs the prescriptions? Would this not be the thin end of the wedge? What else would the OP then find she has to do for him because he can't be bothered or whatever excuse?

ViolaLass

But it might also be the start of him learning (it could go either way).

January20

ViolaLass wrote: »

But it might also be the start of him learning (it could go either way).

But she sent him the link! Surely that would be enough for him to start learning, wouldn't it? It certainly would be for me!

geoffky

Why not joint accounts? it works for us very well.

ViolaLass

January20 wrote: »

But she sent him the link! Surely that would be enough for him to start learning, wouldn't it? It certainly would be for me!

Not necessarily. I had to threaten to kick my OH out 5 years ago before he would start job hunting seriously.

We're still together, married, I'd trust him with all my money and he's now running his own business. He's much improved.

As am I.

YorksClare

You love him but does his behaviour suggest that he loves you? It doesn't sound like it from your description. I really hope he wakes up and turns his act around before you are seriously hurt.

Cut up the credit card or confiscate it off him. I wouldn't suggest a joint account, because he might decide to spend all the money you have made such careful plans for before it goes where it is needed.

Best of luck. It sounds as if you need it!