AIBU to expect OH to make his money last til payday?

peachyprice

It's taken me all day to work out what AIBU means

balletshoes

peachyprice wrote: »

It's taken me all day to work out what AIBU means

I still wouldn't have worked it out if I hadn't read the explanation in the thread. I thought it had "b*tch" in there somewhere - but then I couldn't make the "U" fit .

glittermonster

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

If he's so hopeless, why have a baby with him?

i find that quite offensive.
yes is uselesswith money but that doesnt mean i dont love him.
i cant believe how many people have 'thanked' you for that comment.

I agree the prescription certificate is easy to do and complete but he hasn't and I'm fed up of holding his hand and doing everything for him. I've sent him the link - I've shown him the leaflet - the rest is upto him.
The other painkillers he buys are cocodomol and cuprofen plus - cheaper versions that the big brands he was buying he's done that by himself.

Good luck Julie with your new baby - I would be nice to talk longer off work but it would make going back to work tricker - I work with children myself as a nanny so part of the reason to go back will be to make it easier for my bosses and to reconnected with the children at work easier - as WELL AS financial reasons. He does know how stressed out I get over money and the first thing I did when I found out I was pregnant was to work a plan to clear as much debt as possible and save for baby stuff and find a way to get through maternity pay.

Oldernotwiser

glittermonster wrote: »

i find that quite offensive.
yes is uselesswith money but that doesnt mean i dont love him.
i cant believe how many people have 'thanked' you for that comment.
.

It wasn't meant to be offensive which is why nobody else objected to it.

If he's so great, why come on a public forum and post all his private business all over the internet? That strikes me as far more offensive and a greater marital sin than being !!!! with money!

ViolaLass

glittermonster wrote: »

i find that quite offensive.
yes is uselesswith money but that doesnt mean i dont love him.
i cant believe how many people have 'thanked' you for that comment.

Isn't having a baby with someone about more than love? Isn't it also about finding someone you think will be a good parent and partner?

Kay_Peel

glittermonster wrote: »

i find that quite offensive.
yes is uselesswith money but that doesnt mean i dont love him.

Just because you love doesn't mean that he'll make a responsible, dependable provider for a family.

He's the opposite of that. He's self-centred, glib, a sponger and still needs toys like PS3 games. Personally, and even if I loved him, I would sort him out before starting a family with him: I wouldn't want to look after two babies.

Do you find it offensive because it is a reflection upon your judgement?

Spendless

glittermonster wrote: »

i find that quite offensive.
yes is uselesswith money but that doesnt mean i dont love him.
i cant believe how many people have 'thanked' you for that comment.

I agree the prescription certificate is easy to do and complete but he hasn't and I'm fed up of holding his hand and doing everything for him. I've sent him the link - I've shown him the leaflet - the rest is upto him.

I didn't thank it but I can see where ONW is coming from. You are very much talking about 'his' and 'hers' money when you have a home together and are having a baby and will be going on reduced pay when on maternity. Not helping with the perscriptions is a good example, it is having an effect on your joint lives (because he then asks for money). You come across as far more organised and financially savvy than your OH, it's a strength you bring to your relationship and an area where your partner shows a weakness so wouldn't it make sense for you to sort it, so it benefits you as a family? Just consider it a chore in the same way usually someone is better at getting rid of spiders than the other one.

I don't really understand the comment about money for lunches either if he takes pack up. Don't you just buy some grocery shopping and you make sandwiches up from that.

bunty109

If he's in such pain, I strongly suggest he goes to the doctors and gets a prescription for the painkillers and checks he's not taking stuff that he shouldn't be on long-term. Then get the pre-payment certificate to help with the cost of pain killers and the other tablets. My dad has problems with his back and has been on painkillers for years and it's really important you don't take stuff long term that could cause other problems (I'm thinking of the cuprofen: ibuprofen is NOT something you want to be taking all the time).

glittermonster

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

It wasn't meant to be offensive which is why nobody else objected to it.

If he's so great, why come on a public forum and post all his private business all over the internet? That strikes me as far more offensive and a greater marital sin than being !!!! with money!

Fair enough.

I'm not sitting here saying I'm having an affair or I don't love the man - I'm asking how other people would feel in my position - If i am being unreasonable to expect him to manage his own money.

At the end of the day our love will conquer it all and we've been through worse and more testing times than this little niggle - which probably only blew up so much because of hormones and tiredness adn that its the same stuff every month.

I haven't gone bad-mouthing him to friends and family behind his back who will judge him for the conversation or the fact he can't manage his money and I take control of it all.... I've ask yes on a public form but also in an anonomous place where noone KNOWS us whether I am being the unreasonable one.

hippygran

You are not being unreasonable.

But you may be banging your head up a wall!

My dad was hopeless with money, so mum had to take charge of the finances, and despite this, there were 'glitches'.

You could, perhaps, do what we do. The money is ALL pooled together. It is then all budgeted out. First all the regular bills paid, then money put up towards other outgoings, then comes shopping and other essential expenditure (fares and petrol etc) then a little is saved. What is left is split 50/50. (This gets over the I earn more than you scenario).

If one of us overspends......tough!

Works really well, because out of our 'pocket money' - we can (and often do) treat each other. (Although being honest I treat him more than the other way round, probably because I budget better - it does help not drinking! although I do stand my round in the pub!).

If he comes to me for money.....................I just tell him I have recklessly spent all mine too!! (Whether I have or not!).

We have taken a massive income fall in the last 3 years, and initially we both found the new budget difficult, but after a few months of running out of money way before month, we soon adjusted our spending habits, accordingly!