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AIBU to expect OH to make his money last til payday?
glittermonster
Posts: 410 Forumite
We had a massive row last night over £. I asked him during the day if he'd got his prescription yet and he said no - he hasn't got any money - he's got £30 til payday (in 10 days time!) which would be fine if he didn't need to get food for his working days, get petrol and have next weekend off and then 4 days annual leave and undoubtedly want to spend some money on beer and coffees and stuff.
He cut his budgets (normal budgets for spending money £50, food for work £90, prescriptions £50, petrol £95) down last payday to get through the month as he'd taken 2 days off sick to go to a BBQ on the saturday and then was 'ill' on the sunday and didn't get paid so lost £140 in his wages.
I earn a lot more than him (me £1700 pm, him £1300) and some of his spending is on his car payments which I don't have. Though I pay the entire mortgage and bills are split 60% (me) and 40% him to try and make it fair.
Every month we have this conversation, he runs out of money and he "borrows" from me or uses my credit card... and I'm fed up of it tbh.
I've worked my ar*e off to clear debts as much as I can before our first baby arrives in 7 weeks and to save up so we've got a hope of getting through maternity leave (bless SMP!)
He doesn't see how much it stresses me out - I spend hours a month keeping tabs on my bank account and spreadsheet and managing our/my money.
I stick to my budgets, I say no when friends invite me out - and I don't generally spend a lot on 'crap' or on a week-to-week basis. If I have spare money I put it towards bills or to save for when I'm on ML - I'm only taking 3 months off cos realistically its all we can afford.
I've said after baby is here our finances are joint - but realistically he'll have his "spending" money and I'll get everything else but still be covering payments for the extra bills (i.e. working hard again to get RID of my CC)
I'm gonna find this hard to get my head around that he wont cut/manage his spending like I do.
He said last night if I asked anyone else they'd agree with him that he'd done well making his money last so long (I disagree - for example seeing him spending x on beer however many times a week really winds me up cos I know at the end of the month he'll be skint and asking me for money)
He's already borrowed £20 for his nephew's birthday present this month and £10 for a PS3 game my friend was selling.
At the moment I take his extra money and use it wisely - pay £60 pm off the C/C put money aside for his car tax, pay myself back the money he borrowed from me to get his car through its MOT (£220)..... I treat his money the same way I treat mine - pay the bills and then work out future expenses and dividie it between months to put it to one side hidden in an esavings account for when its due
Sorry - that was really REALLY long -
He cut his budgets (normal budgets for spending money £50, food for work £90, prescriptions £50, petrol £95) down last payday to get through the month as he'd taken 2 days off sick to go to a BBQ on the saturday and then was 'ill' on the sunday and didn't get paid so lost £140 in his wages.
I earn a lot more than him (me £1700 pm, him £1300) and some of his spending is on his car payments which I don't have. Though I pay the entire mortgage and bills are split 60% (me) and 40% him to try and make it fair.
Every month we have this conversation, he runs out of money and he "borrows" from me or uses my credit card... and I'm fed up of it tbh.
I've worked my ar*e off to clear debts as much as I can before our first baby arrives in 7 weeks and to save up so we've got a hope of getting through maternity leave (bless SMP!)
He doesn't see how much it stresses me out - I spend hours a month keeping tabs on my bank account and spreadsheet and managing our/my money.
I stick to my budgets, I say no when friends invite me out - and I don't generally spend a lot on 'crap' or on a week-to-week basis. If I have spare money I put it towards bills or to save for when I'm on ML - I'm only taking 3 months off cos realistically its all we can afford.
I've said after baby is here our finances are joint - but realistically he'll have his "spending" money and I'll get everything else but still be covering payments for the extra bills (i.e. working hard again to get RID of my CC)
I'm gonna find this hard to get my head around that he wont cut/manage his spending like I do.
He said last night if I asked anyone else they'd agree with him that he'd done well making his money last so long (I disagree - for example seeing him spending x on beer however many times a week really winds me up cos I know at the end of the month he'll be skint and asking me for money)
He's already borrowed £20 for his nephew's birthday present this month and £10 for a PS3 game my friend was selling.
At the moment I take his extra money and use it wisely - pay £60 pm off the C/C put money aside for his car tax, pay myself back the money he borrowed from me to get his car through its MOT (£220)..... I treat his money the same way I treat mine - pay the bills and then work out future expenses and dividie it between months to put it to one side hidden in an esavings account for when its due
Sorry - that was really REALLY long -
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Comments
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Stop lending him money and get your credit-card back off him.0
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Why is he spending £50 on prescriptions??? If you pay monthly through the NHS you pay just over £10 a month for as many prescriptions as you need. http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/Healthcosts/Pages/Prescriptioncosts.aspx
Food for work......tell him to take a pack up = £10 ish a week
My OH earns £1300 pm and i earn £400 pm, three children and we get a bit of tax credits but all that goes onto childcare bill. I find it so hard to understand how some ppl struggle on your kind of income (dont take that in the wrong way please )
Dont lend him any money at all and just say when its gone it gone, tough S**t!!!0 -
hmm this sounds like my husband! the thing is they borrow money off you but then when they get paid they (theoritcially - i've lost count of how many hundreds my hubby has had off me) it back so they're starting the month on less than they should have, but then run out again.
I'm sick of it too so can sympathise, I paid for our wedding and used to earn £400 a month until I lost my job in feb. Started earning around £800 this month so basically for 6 months I had no income but still paid all the household bills, everything our son needs (new clothes etc) and all the food bills - he pays the rent, his phone/bus card and has around £500 disposable income a month yet still always comes begging.
I've drawn up a spreadsheet of how much he owed me from the wedding and have been getting him to pay it back in installments - could you try that too? what another poster said about prescriptions is a good point too.0 -
Why is he spending £50 on prescriptions??? If you pay monthly through the NHS you pay just over £10 a month for as many prescriptions as you need. http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/Healthcosts/Pages/Prescriptioncosts.aspx
Food for work......tell him to take a pack up = £10 ish a week
My OH earns £1300 pm and i earn £400 pm, three children and we get a bit of tax credits but all that goes onto childcare bill. I find it so hard to understand how some ppl struggle on your kind of income (dont take that in the wrong way please )
Dont lend him any money at all and just say when its gone it gone, tough S**t!!!
Sorry for his prescriptions thats 2 a month, 4 if he runs out and doesn't make a dr appointment in time and the rest is on over the counter painkillers for a persistent bad back. I have told im about the certificate several times but he's never done anything about it... don't see why I should sort it out for him.
Work food he does take a pack up - but works 7 12 hour shifts on the trot, and then has 3/4 days off.... still I agree he could cut down like getting own brand chocolates rather than the premium brands.
Yes and I agree we do earn good money but we do have a lot of out goings - unfortunately a lot of them are on debts at the moment - some of which are always gonna be there (mortgage) and generall expenses and some from bad financial decisions (credit card/loan)0 -
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"If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you. "
A.A. Milne
We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced (James Baldwin)0 -
ops sorry to confuse you! - its used on another forum I use!0
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