Real Life MMD: Should the cash go to my kids or pay off debt?

jamespir

juliamarsh wrote: »

What a ridiculous remark, and the one made by Scotsbob too!! They are clearly unaware that virtually everything us single Mums spend on our credit cards relates directly to our children and their welfare and we have neither the time nor the financial means to indulge ourselves with unnecessary luxuries!!

sorry she chose to get a credit card she chose to spend on it

thats not nrp fault at all therfore the money should still go to the kids

Rosie_Thorn

lu_82 wrote: »

I think it depends why the kids' father is estranged. If he made a committment to you before you chose to have kids together and then ran off and left you in the lurch through no fault of yours, then you deserve his money and it's fine to use it to pay off your debts. If you took his kids away from him, or made the choice to have kids on your own, then he does not owe you anything and you should use your own money to provide for them - anything extra you get from him should be spent directly on luxuries for them.

How can you say that? The children are innocent and need to be supported by their father regardless of whether or not their mother 'took them away from him'. He's owes his children financial support.

Back to the question of what to do with the money now you have it, just put it in the household budget. I doubt whether you pay for your food separately to your children's, or work out how much rent/mortgage and utility bills are down to them. The money from their father is just part of your monthly income - in the same way that you don't have to spend Child Benefit on specific items for the child the benefit is being paid for. You should lump everything together and budget to pay off your credit card sooner rather than later, then once you have more money to play with you can either start savings plans for the kids or put money aside for day trips etc during school holidays but staying out of debt is always the most important thing for you (and, therefore, your kids). I've never had, or wanted kids, but my ex husband fathered a son when he was 14 and we used to pay money to the mother. We never objected to or even asked what she spent it on - she looked after the lad and so the money was hers to do enable her to do that.

katespencer

Paying off debt is always the first rule of sound financial accounting. As has been previously said, you have spent his money "up front" before he gave you it, so now it's time to take it back and clear the debt. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!! By ending the debt asap, your children will benefit in the future.One more thing - PLEASE try not to use a c/c again.

jamespir

Rosie_Thorn wrote: »

How can you say that? The children are innocent and need to be supported by their father regardless of whether or not their mother 'took them away from him'. He's owes his children financial support.

Back to the question of what to do with the money now you have it, just put it in the household budget. I doubt whether you pay for your food separately to your children's, or work out how much rent/mortgage and utility bills are down to them. The money from their father is just part of your monthly income - in the same way that you don't have to spend Child Benefit on specific items for the child the benefit is being paid for. You should lump everything together and budget to pay off your credit card sooner rather than later, then once you have more money to play with you can either start savings plans for the kids or put money aside for day trips etc during school holidays but staying out of debt is always the most important thing for you (and, therefore, your kids). I've never had, or wanted kids, but my ex husband fathered a son when he was 14 and we used to pay money to the mother. We never objected to or even asked what she spent it on - she looked after the lad and so the money was hers to do enable her to do that.

i agree with rosie i think csa should only be paid if the father is allowed access if mother stops it so should the payments
except in cases where theres proven abuse
or the father has decided not to have anything to do with the kids

Gillsx

Pay off the debt - you have made sure the kids have what they need and accumulated debt because of it so you need to pay it off. That was what the money was for and it's still paying for the kids requirements, just a bit later than the items were bought. Don't end up paying more by continuing to pay the interest on the credit. You should feel no guilt whatsoever for being a responsible parent and getting rid of debt.

Ebenezer_Screwj

You should pay down your debts. The money you have already spent on the children was in anticipation of their father honouring his obligation towards them.

tersus_slate

Ignore these idiots and spend it on strippers and champagne! :beer:

mandwhy

You're paying for your credit card debt, and it's at least partially his fault you had to rack it up in the first place, so I see nothing wrong in clearing or reducing it with his cash. It would be insane to keep paying however much interest a month when you could have cleared it. Money is money, you've been looking after your children's needs, and I would have thought most people receiving CSA need to put some of it towards family needs such as food and bills, what's wrong with that? That said, you will probably end up buying some things for the kids anyway, enjoy!

jenniferamy

Pay the credit card!!!

Maat

Definitely pay off the debt. It does neither you nor your kids any good to be paying interest to the credit card each month. If you get it paid off you'll have more to spend on the kids anyway. I'm sure if the kids need anything in particular that will take priority over the debt as you're clearly a responsible parent.

Good luck getting the debt paid off and I hope your ex continues to take responsibility for the kids. Once the debt's cleared I think you and the kids should go out and have a big celebration together