Real Life MMD: Should the cash go to my kids or pay off debt?

lobbyludd

gosh yes, pay off the debt. I receive an amount from ex towards the children's upkeep, it pays less than a 5th of the childcare let alone all other expenses. Money goes on clothes, shoes, glasses, food, keeping the house warm for them, bedding, washing their clothes etc before we get to any potential "fun" stuff. So whether the money he gives is kept seperately and used for those things or goes into the pot from which those things and the debt clearling comes from doesn't matter, the money is still being used towards his children's upkeep. As for getting the children to write to their dad to thank him for the things the money has provided them with - it's child maintenance, not child "fun and treat money", is to be put towards their necessary expenses, and is set at a very low level accordingly. I have yet to meet a parent-wth-care (mother OR father) who does not contribute far more financially than the other parent to their children's general running costs, and I think some of the comments above show a basic lack of understanding regarding the purpose of child maintenance, it's level and the cost of children.

I can't imagine asking the kids to write to their dad thanking him for paying towards last night's tea? The financial arrangements between us are not their concern, all they need to know is that we share the financial costs of their lives (they do not need to know that I pay at least 80% of them or that some days I go without food to make sure they have enough, whilst he buys himself another laptop or pops off on his 5th foreign holiday this year).

rosenoble

You have maintained the kids from your own pocket and debt raised. Pay off the debt first. Its a no brainer.

bulgaria_bride

Hunny do what you want with the money and don't worry about those who look down at you if you use it to pay off your card. If it was me i wouldn't have even bothered to ask. You as a mother know what is best for your children. Good Luck with yours and their future!!!

cazpost

I'm not sure why people are making a distinction between 'his' money and 'your' money. The money that comes from him is for you to look after the children in the best way. As such,surely you add all your benefits,income,maintenance together,then budget accordingly. As we all know, paying off credit card debt has to be a priority, and the fact that you accrued the debt while waiting for the maintenance to come through means you are quite right to to pay it off.

robynprincess

surely its all relative? put the money towards the kids and save the money you would have spent yourself on them (when covering the cost all by yourself) and put that to the CC.

jimmywx11

bigperk wrote: »

An absolute no-brainer I would say - you've already been buying them things their dad should have been giving you money for, putting yourself into more expensive debt. Pay off what credit you can with his money. Then you'll pay less interest and have more available to buy the kids more things (and give yourself a bit of a treat, too - it's worth a bit of a celebration getting money out of tight-wad people trying to evade their responsibilities, and making your life more difficult).

Good Luck!

Totally agree.... Send that money to the credit card. You can then use the credit card on your kids. Just ensure that over time you get the balance down to zero.

Its a win - win. as long as he keeps paying.......

:beer: :T

moxxy-girl

Of course you should use the money to pay off your debt - or certainly a proportion of it each month. You have spent your own money, rather than money owing to you , on the children - so now is the time to redress the balance. In the great scheme of life it all goes towards the children's well being.

Augustus_the_Strong

Pay the money towards future spending for the kids, and 'save' what you aren't spending from your own money to pay off your credit card debt. Or pay off your credit card debt but be prepared to show receipts for glasses etc. This seems a bit bureaucratic, but the best way of potentially getting more money off your ex is to maintain good relations and not give the impression (however untrue) that you've been spending recklessly and building up a debt.

mariajose

In short, pay off the credit cards.

People who are saying it is money for the children - the mum is hardly going to neglect to feed or clothe her children when doing the exact was what caused her to get into debt in the first place. So obviously their everyday needs and expenses occurred in providing these will always come first. Anything left should go towards paying off the debts.

Income is income, wherever it comes from.

Tarasmum

As you have brought the children up financially on your own up to the point you started to receive maintenance, then it is perfectly OK to use the money to pay off any debts created by having to buy things for the kids, however if it is debts in your own right, i.e. personal to you, then no you should not use it. just need to use a bit of commonsense really! good luck:j