London Socialite Sees The Light

LondonGirl252

turbo.jet wrote: »

Well I won't go into it too much on here, being someone else's diary, but I'm pretty sure its on the cards... just a matter of when. They are gradually outsourcing all departments here and have already done the other half of IT, and I'm in the half of IT that's still here for now. There have been a lot of signs. Que Sera Sera... if it happens it will be for a reason, and I'm hoping the payout will give me the mortgage deposit I'm longing for.

It might work out well for you if that were to be the case, whatever happens hope you're OK and keepus updated!

LondonGirl252

MuffinTops wrote: »

Woo Hoo. Congratulations on the updated sig and getting quite a healthy jump £12K. You should go back and read your first entry again and give yourself a major pat on the back.

Less than a week to pay day and sandwiches already sorted. Absolutely well done.

Thanks! That's such a good idea, I will I remember feeling horribly down on that first post!

Getting there!!!

LondonGirl252

allybee101 wrote: »

:beer:
That's fabulous, well done!! A serious dent in your debt now, like turbo.jet says - 4 digits will feel flippin' amazing!

:beer: Thanks!

4 digits will really feel like a massive acheivement. I might work out how much that is, and put it in my siggy as a target to keep me on track

Thanks everyone without you lot I would have fallen off the wagon long ago, you keep my spirits high when I'm feeling like giving up

Erme

LondonGirl252 wrote: »

It might work out well for you if that were to be the case, whatever happens hope you're OK and keepus updated!

Yeah do TJ ...Hugs

LondonGirl252 wrote: »

:beer: Thanks!

4 digits will really feel like a massive acheivement. I might work out how much that is, and put it in my siggy as a target to keep me on track

Thanks everyone without you lot I would have fallen off the wagon long ago, you keep my spirits high when I'm feeling like giving up

Yeah you are doing so well hun :T....just catching up on posts after a lovely pm out and noticing the night's drawing out ...

So yeah just about to do 'more' ironing pre cooking tea...

Hugs

E

LondonGirl252

Right, those who don't want to read a right old crazy ramble look away now, I really need to let it all out and my diary was the first place I thought of.

This week has mentally done me in, I've got such good friends and all I'm doing is pushing them away,

Tonight is S's house party, got my outfit, blue hairspray (fancy dress) , bottle of wine and was all up for it this am. But I've had a really odd day, I feel at work - though I love my job - sometimes I feel like I'm not really confident it all areas of it yet and I hate making mistakes but everyone is so busy with year end its hard for anyone to really sit with me. This is my first proper accountants "year end" so its all new. So I was getting a bit emotional and stressed anyway then it came out that the plan for tonight was to go out after drinking at the house first so then I started stressing about getting home because S lives a good hour away from me and I couldn't afford a taxi but also couldn't afford to go out. So I'd have to leave around 10 but wouldn't be able to leave work till 7ish so wouldn't arrive till 8 and I had a huge heavy bag to lug around. Anyway this is all so trivial now I've written it down but at the time my head was so full of rubbish I just wanted to go home. So I fibbed and let my friend down but I knew she didn't believe me by her reply (asking if I was with a mutual male friend of ours - I don't blame her - that's a long story in itself!) and I feel really horrible now. I can feel I'm pushing her away as she doesn't know why I'm being so weird.

Phew, sorry I just had to write all that down. I just don't want this money journey to affect me like this. I told her I'd call her tomorrow and if she's home I'll go round. I think I really need to try and explain myself more and be more truthful, I can't lie to her she knows me too well. And like its been said before she's used to me being carefree with money and therefore taxis, parties, going out... she probably thinks I don't want to be around her which is not the case at all. Now I'm thinking more rationally its probably a similar case with my FM.

I just don't want my money situation being common knowledge but more importantly I don't want to lose my friends. God, this is hard.

I'm in no danger of giving up, I'm 11% of the way there. And hopefully February's payday will make that a fair bit closer, I'm excited to reach targets, I'm excited for the day I have paid all this off and am £500-£600 a month better off but I can't do it without mates and whats the point in doing it if I lose all my mates on the way?

Tomorrow I owe S a huge apology for missing her party and then I'm going to tell her the truth and hope she understands and can cope with me being a bit more different to how I used to be and then I'm going to do the same with my FM - living with someone and being so close with someone for 2 years then changing all my habits with no reason must come across as suspect. I apologise to those of you who have pointed this out to me before but I think i needed to realise it for myself! I'll just stress to them both its a very personal thing and I'd appreciate it if they didn't tell anyone.

God I've been musing over this for a good hour now, 2 glasses of red down and I'm feeling calmer but I do feel I should have just gone to the party, I would have enjoyed seeing everyone even just for a couple of hours. I just was scared of being tempted to stay longer and then would have had to pay for a cab and I don't physically have the money for it in my account so i would have been stuck.

I am SO looking forward to riding tomorrow morning, I'm going to tell all of this to my horse too... poor thing doesn't get a choice weather to listen. I'll take him a bunch of carrots to make up for it! I'm hoping "coming clean" to S and FM will make all this easier, they'll know the full reason why I'm being so careful and not think I'm being odd.

This diary will still remain all mine, I want to be able to come on here and offload like this with full honesty without worrying about upsetting anyone.

Thanks again everyone, I do wonder, I must bore you silly sometimes!

LondonGirl252

Oh and today wasn't a NSD as I ran out of canteen allowance and bought blue hairspray that I now won't use!! might try and take that back on Monday!

gillsnips

I've never submitted to any forums before ,but have read yours all the way through and it has inspired me to cut back and save.
I had a feeling something might be wrong when you hadnt put any thing up today !!. you definately need to speak to both your friends and explain --if they are friends they will understand and help. Dont feel bad -tomorrow is another day and you have done SO well up to now.
Have another wine for me x:beer:

LondonGirl252

Thanks gillsnips, thanks for reading and posting S just text "It's not the same without you!" So have arranged to go round and tend to the hangovers tomorrow. I'll tell her then when she's numb from the booze! lol It'll be a big step telling them both as I'm quite a proud person but it will help so much i know it will.
Onto wine No3 as we speak! X

JJ.

Hiya, I've been keeping up with your diary, and I have to say you're a HUGE inspiration! You've shown such strength and determination, you should be extremely proud of yourself. I think sometimes it's hard to take this journey without letting key people in your life understand why things have to change for you. Who knows, for all you know, it could be that they might be feeling like they're 'keeping up with the Jones's' too, and might be harbouring a need to cut back themselves. So, I think you're doing the right thing by letting them know now; and you can bet your horses carrot that you'll feel a whole lot better for being honest with them.

I really hope you have a fabby weekend, and I look forward to reading more of your journey. x

LondonGirl252

Hi JJ.

Thanks for posting and keeping up with me, I must be hard work! lol Thank you, you're right, I owe it to them to let them know why I'm changing things.
I liked the horses carrot analogy! I feel better just for knowing I'm coming clean I feel like I've been keeping a horrible secret.

Hope you have a lovely weekend too and I will update tomorrow night with S and FM reactions.
Thanks x