London Socialite Sees The Light

mark55man

Good to hear you are holding the fort etc

1 year olds get everywhere - and so quickly. Not surprised you were worn out

Wish my finances were as organised - I'm great with advice, not so much for actually doing it!.

have been off the rowing machine (in my garage) with a bad wrist -and need to find a replacement - so wondering if I can afford a gym membership so I can use a wider variety of stuff. difficult as I would want to do that for OH and thats getting to be a lot of money

joeyjimbles

mark88man wrote: »

have been off the rowing machine (in my garage) with a bad wrist -and need to find a replacement - so wondering if I can afford a gym membership so I can use a wider variety of stuff. difficult as I would want to do that for OH and thats getting to be a lot of money

Do you have a pure gym near you? They offer payg memberships, and often other gyms will match it if you challenge them. Have to say that I've not looked back since giving up my membership - I run and do some free weights and I'm actually fitter now as a result but with a damaged wrist I can see that won't be what you need right how.

joeyjimbles

LS - I just had a thought. Don't you have an account with FD? They have a 5% regular savings account. I think the max you can put in is 300 a month but would be a reasonably decent return for some of your money.

LondonGirl252

Just thought I'd drop in and see if any of my old readers still have this thread "live"

Not in a great place right now, I just posted for advice in the house buying/selling forum so will copy and paste ...

Hi all

Just looking for a bit of impartial advice really. Here's the situation;

Own a flat with my now ex-boyfriend. We bought in Sept 2015 in the south west a 2 bed apartment for £300k. We were FTB.


We broke up in January as amicable as can be in these situations and have been sharing the property since.

He was away for the second month of the break up so decided to put the flat on the market when he got back 1 March so was in the spring feeling thats a good time to sell.

Mortgage was £255k now at £240k so £15k equity paid off. All the sums around split of sale value above mortgage we're in agreement on. If we sell before 31.10.2018 we're tied into an £8k exit fee on the mortgage.

Long story short we've had a nightmare with the estate agents and it didn't go on the market until 1 April. It initially went on at £375k (I know!) we stupidly followed EA's advice and turned out un-surprisingly her valuation was way out. Reduced to £345k within about 10 days.

Had a few viewings and one offer at £300k which was politely rejected.

Since then no activity or interest at all, it's a lovely flat, only 11 years old with a balcony with nice views, lovely big rooms and wouldn't need any work doing at all.

Now they're suggested we drop to £325k as market slow and quite a lot of 2 bed apartments on market and we're highly priced compared to those and that would bring us into a different search bracket on right move and might generate more interest.

So we agreed on the basis it being put as "offers in excess of £325k". Will see how it does over the next couple of weeks and if that works at all. If not need to accept we're playing a long game here and potentially will be looking for a buyer for longer than ideal.

So been thinking through options as I am at my wits end and honestly can't bear the thought of staying in here much longer, we have separate bedrooms etc but I just can't go on living with him, I need to be able to move on.

I'm very fortunate I've worked bl00dy hard over the last two years and have a good income each month so could potentially afford to rent while I contribute to the mortgage if he agrees to take on the household bills and increase his contribution to the mortgage.

Is this a reasonable thing to suggest? If he's not keen do I have any welly to be able to force his hand on this? What about if I suggested renting my room out to cover some costs so I can rent? This is something I assume he would have to agree to.

I have also suggested I take on the flat financially 100% to allow him to rent/houseshare elsewhere while it sells but not getting much enthusiasm on that from him either.

Any advice/suggestions here? I have suggested we take it off the market until end of summer and aim to sell it after we're out the mortgage exit fee thingy but that would have to be on the basis only one of us lives here as I think I'd be in a seriously bad place if this were to go on much longer, I'm already having to see a therapist on a bi-weekly basis as it is.....

Many Thanks
LG
x

efes_shareholder

Is it possible that you could rent the flat out completely ?
If this would cover both of your expenses then you both could make alternative living arrangements and look at selling again once the market is more bouyant ?
its seems a shame to have to lose 8k in the early repayment fee

tunathe_cat

hugs to you honey - hope you can get sensible advice from others on the thread.

To save on 8K I would wait - If renting flat out and renting some where else? You may end up sharing with more hidden problems.

Is Ex still in services he may have postings or can he move back to barracks?. take holidays long weekends with friends ..

Big girl knickers on deep breath you have found solutions to past events life throws at you. You will get through this with style grace and even laughter xxx

joeyjimbles

Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry to read your news. What an awful situation, but at least you found this out before you got married and further down the road. I feel for you however.
If it's not good for you then presumably it's not good for him either so I think you have to sit down (probably for the nth time I'm sure) and have a straight conversation. Write down the options and costs - which I know you'll have worked out then ideally pick a time when you're not tired or emotional, hungry etc and put them to him. It is a decision you both have to agree to so you can choose whether or not to be completely open and tell him your preference, or to play your cards closer to your chest.
I agree that however difficult being together is, and I'm sure it is, £8K is a lot to lose given the other costs of moving/selling/buying somewhere else. So surviving the next x months is the goal so that you can then move on.
On a personal level, I'm glad you have someone to talk to and I hope you're soon in a better place. Hugs.

nicedream_2

Hello
I'm not sure I ever posted, but did read, and just wanted to say hope your okay!
I think what you suggest is reasonable and fair on both of you. I know friends who have had similar arrangements when they split up. One person has always moved out, and I can't begin to imagine how hard it is to live with him is, however amicable!
Put yourself first and make sure you do what's best for you. You'll be on a brighter page soon.
Take care,

Siouxsie32

Oh gosh LG, I just logged on to the forum for the first time in a long time and am catching up on people whose diaries I used to follow. I've followed you from the early days of finding a huge spider in your shared London accommodation and, although I didn't post much, I was always inspired by how together you were. I'm sorry things haven't worked out, but since it's 5 months since this last update I'm hoping things have somehow sorted themselves out. We live in the same town so feel free to PM me if you ever want to catch up. Lol, I have a £20 voucher for Cinnamon Cafe which would get us lots of coffee and cake

Edit - looks like my signature needs updating :rotfl:

LondonGirl252

Hi all,


So sorry i didn't reply to everyone, after i wrote the post I just couldn't bear thinking about it much longer and stuck my head in the sand.




A fair few months on and the flat still isn't sold
It's now on the market for exactly the same price we bought it at. My ex wouldn't agree to increasing his contributions above 50% renting it out completely or moving out for me to take it on. He didn't feel it was that bad living together.


I managed to go and live with a freind for a few weeks while her hubby was away and I ended up having to take some time off work too as work became increasingly pressured and I couldn't deal with everything, I had no where to get any peace or time out. Those few weeks helped me a lot and I realised that i couldn't go back to the flat so i found a small reasonably priced place to rent alone nearby. I had worked out that if i was extremely frugal then I could just about break even each month.


That was in July and I didn't expect the flat still wouldn't be sold by now, I haven't ended up being frugal as while living alone was so much better for my soul I found it extremely lonely so I spent more than I budgeted on horse-riding & socialising. Christmas just gone was way too expensive as well despite cutting down the presents I buy dramatically.
Anyway crux of it is I am now back in debt. Some of it was planned (furnishing new place as I couldn't take much furniture from the flat) and all of it is on 0% for a couple of years so it's well managed but not ideal.


I spent some time over the last couple of days budgeting (always kept using YNAB) and planning ahead. And I am absolutley determined now to get back to break even each month and not increase this debt. I've learnt from debt free journey number 1 that any good friends will support me in this and any one who doesn't isn't worth my money anyway, so i've let everyone know that I am on a super strict budget now.


January is already fully accounted for in terms of social spend so my first big challenge is to politley decline all social invites for the rest of the month unless I can change them into something that is free like a walk or DVD night at my place.


Meal planning is something I enjoy so i am embracing that.
I developed a forward looking spreadsheet which shows how quickly I can pay off the debt once the house is sold which is keeping my spirits up.


Good news is we have one potential buyer who has viewed twice now and will be making a decision tomorrow after he views two new builds today. Another potential option has come to light recently wherby my Ex has come into a chunky inheritance so if he is able to afford it he might like to buy me out, he hopes to know in the next couple of weeks. As a result of me moving out we are on better terms so im grateful we aren't arguing about all this, I just need not to have the drain on my finances now please.


So, here we go. I am back in debt to the tune of £5,892.77 all on 0% credit cards. My aim is to pay this off within 6 months of the house sale which will be acheived by using any proceeds (expecting £4k if sells at asking) and my bonus for the year due in April. My other aim is to not let this increase a penny further.
I look forward to re-invigorating my diary and hopefully a few of you will join my on my journey v2.