London Socialite Sees The Light

lulabelle

I have just caught up with your diary after being MIA for weeks. You POOR love. They are being awful. As I said previously, they agreed to vary your contract (even if not in writing) so you could WFH for one day a week. For them to renege on that simply because you have handed your notice in is, in my legal opinion, bullying. You could resign and claim constructive unfair dismissal. Or you could go to your doctor, have a melt down, and get them to sign you off with stress (if you do this mention how they have been with you so its in the notes). If you resigned and claimed constructive unfair dismissal, the worst they could do is come after you for any losses they could prove (hard IMHO) as a result of your breach of contract (i.e. failing to work your contractual notice) BUT would be unlikely to do this if you are suffering from stress from their bullying. If you get signed off, there is little they can do (depending on what your contract or any staff handbook which is said to have contractual provisions) apart from get you to submit to a medical which would probably take weeks to organise anyway.

It really annoys me when people act this way just because you've resigned.

If you don't want to do either of those things, just take the moral high ground, safe in the knowledge that you've obviously got to them and it matters more to them than you and keep crossing off those commutes. We are all here for you if you want to rant!!!

lots of love xxx

LondonGirl252

Thank you everybody for your kind messages!

I am doing my best to rise above it and take the high ground but your useful advise above Lulabelle is very much on board - thank you - should it get any worse.
Unfortunately he is not the type of man to have a heart to heart with, he has zero empathy or sympathy, we used to have a girl here who struggled with depression and the things he used to say about her in front of me were disgusting, its like he doesn't believe mental health problems are "real". In fact if anyone calls in sick for even a physical illness he doesn't believe those are real either and assumes the person is "weak".

I expected them to be a bit difficult with me as I have seen the pattern of whenever anyone resigns they are immediately treated differently to how they were before. But this is getting ridiculous it's so unfair.

Last Friday the girl who works for me told me she is going to start looking for a new job too, she had a meeting with my manager while I was WFH and he made some very inappropriate comments to her around her looks (she is very pretty) which I was horrified at, so she now feels uncomfortable coming to work but she refuses to let me do or say anything.

Luckily this week he has been off and so has the other director I struggle with so its been a better week but now I feel even more like I need to stay until she has a new manager so that I can be a barrier between him and her and look after her until she manages to leave herself.

In that meeting he bad mouthed me to her as well which she was kind enough to tell me about even though it probably wasn't easy. He said I'd called in sick with hayfever, he said I was always ill (never taken an actual sick day since I've worked here, I've always worked from home) and I needed to toughen up. He then insinuated that I want to be included in the interviews for my replacement (I don't. I hate interviewing but when I resigned I suggested it would be sensible for me to be in there for at least some of it as surely when you're recruiting an accountant you would want an accountants opinion of their skills) but said I "don't deserve a say in the future of the business" (I don't want one, I'm just trying to stop you making a mistake) etc etc. He is honestly such a child, I am counting down the weeks and days.

At least now it is June I can say "I start my new job next month" and I have booked off the last few days holiday I have to give myself some long weekends between now and leaving.

I CAN GET THERE AND WILL NOT LET THEM DRAG ME DOWN!

Onto brighter news.... My new company confirmed my start date as 25 July this week so I will have 4 days off between leaving and starting with them. They also invited me out for dinner again next week to introduce me to the MD of one of my business area and the same next month to meet the other MD. Really excited and soooo ready for the next step.

So, onto money! I mentioned a while back that I thought I'd overspent on my credit card when we booked the holiday and also in general a bit. Well, I had... to the tune of £1,200. Most of that is the holiday, I thought savings would cover most of it but then the car insurance was a lot more than we hoped it would be and that combined with me being less strict at using YNAB has left me over spending considerably.

At least now I have the tools to fix it. I sat back and thought about the next 3 months.... two months are my notice period and I'm unlikely to be able to save much to be able to pay it off and the next month is out holiday for which right now I have zero savings!

So, combined with setting up the new online YNAB I decided the best way for me to manage money well over the next 3 months would be to transfer this to a 0% deal and pay off gradually without paying any interest on it and then once the holiday is over and I'm in the new job with reduced out-goings I should be able to clear it by xmas alongside savings for xmas and re-building my emergency fund.

I got accepted for the Barclaycard 32 month 0% interest and 0.72% fee which is great and have requested the balance transfer. That card is going in the shredder when it arrives and my other one will begin to be left at home until I'm confident I'm not over spending anymore and it can be used for day-to-day spending to build up avios points without risk!

Feel a LOT better about being able to manage it all now.

Home is good, M is good, otherwise everything is good! Had another lovely ride in the park last weekend and was asked to show a new lady the routes in the park, she was really nice so I think will become a riding partner every now and then.

Next week M is away with work and might have to take the car, its a shame as I am due to be in work all week and will have to walk the 3miles to the station but will have to see it as exercise!

Last night my friend took me out for dinner as my birthday present, was absolutely delish and I stayed at hers after so I didn't need to commute last night or this morning which is even better!

That was a long post! Well done for getting to the end!

Hope you're all OK!

LG x

mark55man

My advice.

If you want to feel better by thinking of revenge or exercising your rights, then fine, but please don't act on it. That stuff is toxic on a CV.

Yes its unfair, no I don't approve, but - that is the level and the people you will be working at soon - so if in doubt count to 10 then do nothing or count to 10 again if you have to

Brightspark87

Hi LG

I totally understand with the boss - I was the same with interviews I offered to try and help but they got all funny. My 'replacement' was only found a couple of weeks before I left and she seems to still be there but I hear its not going as well as hoped!

You will get through this tough time and just stay your calm lovely self. Sadly, some bosses do not understand re depression or any other mental illnesses whereas actually a little understanding and care goes a long way towards helping deal with the issues! One day off for someone who needs a 'mental health day' often makes a huge difference rather than forcing someone into the office when they are not 100%.

Have you got the count down app? I still have mine nearly a year later and just helps get you through the tough times - bit like your commute count down!

Moneywise - you'll get there. Changing jobs etc is stressful and you have the tools to deal with this and knock it on the head asap!

Sending lots of positive thoughts and happiness xx

joeyjimbles

Positive thoughts - your boss appears to be showing true colours right now, what a coward and how unprofessional. I am sorry to hear about your assistant however, that's a big shame and I hope she finds a new job very soon.
Glad that other things are looking up, and good on your for sorting the CC stuff before it grew into something that you couldn't.

LondonGirl252

Thanks guys as always your comments give me such a boost.

Work's been OK this week (because the boss is on holiday!) but trying to not dread next by staying positive and counting down (I will download a countdown app today Brightspark!)! I have 6.5 weeks to go, I am sure it will fly by! PLEASE fly by! hahaha

Yesterday I completed Week 1 of my couch to 10km app and legs are feeling good!

I am due to start week two this weekend but we are at the races tomorrow which means Sunday will be hungover so I am planning to do Day1 run tonight so that I won't lag behind if i miss a weekend run!

Slimming World is still going OK, I put on a few pounds over my birthday but weighed myself this morning and I've managed to lose two of those already.

Completed YNAB for this morning, feeling much better about money again. The balance transfer has been done which is good so now I just need to chip away at that.

So yeah, feeling good and positive today! Hopefully we have a nice weekend and I can deal with what next week will bring!

Hope you all have great weekends!

LG xx

LondonGirl252

32 Commutes left!

I still have 2 days annual leave to book so actually, it's 30! WOOP!

mark55man

Each commute is now 3% of your remaining notice.

By the end of the fortnight each commute will be 5% of you notice

By the end of the month each will be 10%.

On your last day that will be 100% of your balance

Something to ponder - perhaps you could draw a graph and overlay it with some measure of emotional well being

alternatively

picture a beautiful mountain on a sunny day - now zoom in to a scenic glade - now listen to the babbling of the stream - and look in awe as the young stream gushes over the rocks glinting in the sunlight - now zoom into the face of the person you are holding underwater -

feeling better ??

Iona_Penny

Mark88man this post is great from the start (well done on your calculations) to finish. Both put a different slant at the remaining notice period LG has left!!

LondonGirl252

mark88man wrote: »

Each commute is now 3% of your remaining notice.

By the end of the fortnight each commute will be 5% of you notice

By the end of the month each will be 10%.

On your last day that will be 100% of your balance

Something to ponder - perhaps you could draw a graph and overlay it with some measure of emotional well being

alternatively

picture a beautiful mountain on a sunny day - now zoom in to a scenic glade - now listen to the babbling of the stream - and look in awe as the young stream gushes over the rocks glinting in the sunlight - now zoom into the face of the person you are holding underwater -

feeling better ??

YES thank you so much for taking the time to do that, I loved it!

Feeling so much better today, feeling like the end is coming into sight!