Contact with child whilst on holiday

gRoberts

fannyanna wrote: »

OP - you're a man and you therefore have no rights when it comes to your child (actually her child unless you're talking about child support). Your ex is a woman and can do whatever she wants. How dare you have the audacity to challange this?

*rolls eyes*

And yes I am being 100% sarcastic!

Well, one I have parental responsibility for, my daughter, but my son, unfortunately, I have jack all. But given I brought up up for 6+ years, he knows me as Dad, as well as his real dad who he see's regularly.

I know your being sarcastic, but really, that's the view of many single or separated women. It's sickening to think that they get on their soap box as soon as someone mentions single mothers are... etc, but single fathers are simply wastes of space...

Pah!

nickyhutch

princessdreamer wrote: »

No the mother is usually the full time carer who knows the childrens routine whereas the father has them every other week. They are used to going days on end without talking to the father but not used to going without talking to the mother.

Where are you getting this from? Oh, that's right, your experiences. Not all NRPs are the same. My DS17 lived with me from age 8 and spoke and speaks to his Dad every day, saw and sees him every weekend and during the week. It's both the RP's and the NRP's responsibility to help maintain a good relationship with both parents.

fannyanna

gRoberts wrote: »

I know your being sarcastic, but really, that's the view of many single or separated women. It's sickening to think that they get on their soap box as soon as someone mentions single mothers are... etc, but single fathers are simply wastes of space...

As I said double standards.

Don't get me wrong there are some complete and utter losers out there (both male and female) but I do feel as though men aren't even given a chance - even if they are the good guy.

CH27

princessdreamer wrote: »

No the mother is usually the full time carer who knows the childrens routine whereas the father has them every other week. They are used to going days on end without talking to the father but not used to going without talking to the mother.

The bit about the children getting older and suddenly thinking the RP is evil and the NRP is a saint is as I said delusional in most cases. My oldest grew up realised his father was a waster, the next one learned the same and the last one couldn't pick him out in a line up.

As I said to you earlier, don't judge everyone by your Ex'x standards.

FBaby

princessdreamer wrote: »

No the mother is usually the full time carer who knows the childrens routine whereas the father has them every other week. They are used to going days on end without talking to the father but not used to going without talking to the mother.

The bit about the children getting older and suddenly thinking the RP is evil and the NRP is a saint is as I said delusional in most cases. My oldest grew up realised his father was a waster, the next one learned the same and the last one couldn't pick him out in a line up.

Some fathers have their children only every other weekend because they don't have a choice. They would much prefer to have contact with them everyday. it's not all just about the kids's rights, it is about the father. There is a big difference feeling comfortable without contact when you know where your kids are and what they are up to (to a certain degree) from when they are in a foreign environment they are not familiar with. OP didn't request that the mother called to reasure them all was all right, but was only expected to be able to contact his children, as he would when they are at home. What would have happened if he'd had an accident and nobody was able to contact the children? All she needed to do was send him a kick text/email before going letting him know which hotel they were staying at.

I think it is totally irresponsible and completely selfish not to do so. Your exes might have been dreadful dad, but OP clearly cares for his children (all of them).

princessdreamer

Nicky completely agree that both sides should work together, just know that if the other side wants to be abusive and not bother there is nothing you can do.

gRoberts I'm sure you are not a total deadbeat however I am also sure your ex does not dictate her or the childrens lives around causing you grief. It is just that after a breakup things which would not have upset you in the past become huge issues.

loubeedoo

gRoberts wrote: »

Now, this is better. Yes, you have a point to raise, but instead of making me out to sound like a utter !!!!!! ... you've done it nicely. So thank you, really.

Erm, you're welcome, I think

All you can do is do right by your kids, if that means biting your tongue and biding your time, then so be it. I've had to do it with my youngest, who has had his heart broken twice. (Long story, but now court sanctioned no contact with his father).

Like some have said on here, you will have to smile and suck it up, then when they are old enough to see for themselves and comprehend all her actions, then they can decide what is right for them.

But having said that, I don't know all the circumstances. She may have issues with you (again I'm going to duck and hide in my bomb shelter:o, especially as I'm a woman:D).

I agree splitting them up is not right, and if you feel that is the way forward then I wish you the very best of luck. If only my sons fathers had an ounce of the feelings you have for your child.

Maybe you and your sons father can move in together to keep the kids together, like the 2 dads did in the story on the Daily Mail (I know, not the best paper to read :rotfl:).

Anyway good luck

Rikki

gRoberts I think you need to reread my posts as I did not once make you out to be a b******d as you assumed.

My youngest was two when his father took him abroad for two weeks I didn't expect him to get the children to call me. I knew they were safe and would be back soon. Yes it was difficult it was the first time I had been separated from my children but although I missed them it was their holiday with their Dad and his turn to spend quality time with them. A phone call home could of upset them. Best to leave them to enjoy their holiday.

Put the children first and let them enjoy their holiday they will be back soon.

nickyhutch

princessdreamer wrote: »

Nicky completely agree that both sides should work together, just know that if the other side wants to be abusive and not bother there is nothing you can do.

Granted, but remember that they aren't all like that.

princessdreamer

nickyhutch wrote: »

Granted, but remember that they aren't all like that.

No but I know quite a few who ignore their kids, slate the ex and play the victim. If you spent an hour with my ex you would believe he tried to call the kids, came to see them only to be turned away. The list of lies goes on and on.