Contact with child whilst on holiday

gRoberts

At the moment, that's all we can do Swingaloo but I can see the kids making their own mind up soon and as petty as this sounds, I can't wait for that day.

I don't want to split my kids up, as unfortunately, with one being biologically mine and the other not, I wouldn't be able to take both. As a result, I think the judge would give extra consideration towards the mother so that the kids aren't split up unless there is a case of neglect.

Thanks everyone, it's nice to see I'm not being paranoid.

Polka_dot_zebra

flutterby_lil wrote: »

I don't agree that the law is on her side... Just depends how far you are willing to go to get proper arrangements in place.

I don't think that's true at all. My husband has been to court twice now, and we have spent almost £10,000 getting a court order in place. It's not worth the paper it's written on - the kid's mother does as she pleases, and takes great delight in stopping OH from seeing their children. We don't qualify for Legal Aid and can't afford another round of solicitors fees, so he has to grin and bear it - I think it's a horrible assumption that fathers who can't see their children are in that position simply because they aren't 'willing to go that far'.

gRoberts

I can understand where flutterby is coming from, but polka's view is also very true.

I'd happily go to court and I am pretty confident that I have a case to have full custody of my daughter. But as her brother lives at the same address, the whole sibling thing makes me wonder whether the court would side against the mother purely for that reason alone.

But that said, if I were to win, my son's biological father would instantly head straight to the court to gain custody of his son. This would be ideal for both of us, but not ideal for the kids. As a result, we've both agreed it's probably better to... Grin and bear it.

The kids will soon decide.

princessdreamer

The kids will decide in the end and 9 times out of 10 they decide the RP was the one in the right. They will not see leaving the phone at home as a big issue, only that they had a nice holiday. For crying out loud you know the children are fine, in court you would stand little chance of splitting the kids or taking them even if they were both yours.
I think the day you can't wait for will come as a big slap in the face, like it does for most weekend parents who think blaming the mother will do them any favours.

gRoberts

princessdreamer wrote: »

The kids will decide in the end and 9 times out of 10 they decide the RP was the one in the right. They will not see leaving the phone at home as a big issue, only that they had a nice holiday. For crying out loud you know the children are fine, in court you would stand little chance of splitting the kids or taking them even if they were both yours.
I think the day you can't wait for will come as a big slap in the face, like it does for most weekend parents who think blaming the mother will do them any favours.

Grow up.

Regardless of what you think, not all "mothers" are saints. My ex has two children to two different fathers, both of whom oddly enough have noticed the same issues.

Sure you can call that coincidence, I don't. I'm sure someone with a legal standing won't think so either.

clairec79

Did you say before they went that you would like a phone call or text to say they'd arrived? if not it just may not have occured to her to take her phone

RAS

Polka_dot_zebra wrote: »

I don't think that's true at all. My husband has been to court twice now, and we have spent almost £10,000 getting a court order in place. It's not worth the paper it's written on - the kid's mother does as she pleases, and takes great delight in stopping OH from seeing their children. We don't qualify for Legal Aid and can't afford another round of solicitors fees, so he has to grin and bear it - I think it's a horrible assumption that fathers who can't see their children are in that position simply because they aren't 'willing to go that far'.

You do not need a lawyer to go to court to enforce acess arrangements. You can represent yourself and win.

One OP on here now has shared custody (or her OH does) of a child whose mum tried to prevent the father having any access to; and mum knows that if she fails to co-operate with this arrangement, the judge is prepared to consider making father the parent with care.

gRoberts

clairec79 wrote: »

Did you say before they went that you would like a phone call or text to say they'd arrived? if not it just may not have occured to her to take her phone

Whilst I understand where your coming from, this is a clear case of 'doing it on purpose'.

She informed the father of her other child, and they despise each other.

Unfortunately, may not have occurred shows neglect as I'm their father and should be able to contact them when ever I need to.

Put it this way. Had I of gone on holiday and didn't take my phone, nor did I tell my ex I wasn't taking my phone. I would have the police waiting for me when I get back.

gRoberts

princessdreamer wrote: »

Yet she managed to raise a child for 9 years.

PS I'm sure both men have issues, most likely paying child support:rotfl:

Your point being?

As for CSA, I'm glad you brought that up. From the day we split up, I OFFERED and we mutually agreed to a monthly amount. This was maintained for almost a year until the ex decided to call the CSA and make it official. Still to this date, I have paid on time, each month.

....

Thought so

princessdreamer

Neglect are you for real. How often do you phone when they are at home, she had facebook so was contactable AND responded to say everything was ok. A NRP would be expected to phone the RP when they go away as it is a non usual situation for the children to be with them for an extended period of time.
I never take my mobile anywhere with me, never have. My son has a phone with him though like a spare limb, ex has phoned zero times.