Contact with child whilst on holiday

CH27

princessdreamer wrote: »

Nope my children have no respect or time for their father. They have no interest in speaking to him ever again which I think is very sad but he brought it on himself. He turned his children against him with his hatred and lies.

You cannot judge the OP by your Ex's behaviour.
Not all men are rotten.
The OP seems to be a caring & responsible dad.

gRoberts

princessdreamer wrote: »

Nope my children have no respect or time for their father. They have no interest in speaking to him ever again which I think is very sad but he brought it on himself. He turned his children against him with his hatred and lies.

Ah, that'd explain it then.

FBaby

Of course you have a right to be upset. Of course you should be given the chance to contact your children whilst they are abroad. Of course your ex should have had at least the decency to tell you that she wouldn't take her phone, but let you know in this case which hotel they are staying in.

I used to call my ex as soon as I arrived on holidays to let him know they kids were ok (even though we were not on good terms). I don't anymore because we go to the same place (my parents) every single year, however, I would NEVER deny him the chance to call my mobile if he wanted to speak to the kids. He did last year, didn't this year. If he asked that they called him when we are there, I would also make sure they did. He only took the kids away twice (once only an hour away for 4 days) and he texted both times to tell me when they had arrived. I called the kids every day.

What kind of parent deny the other who is a regular presence in the kids life the chance to communicate with them? Don't worry, the kids are getting older and soon will be more independent. Next time, get your child a mobile, make sure it can receive international call and tell the mum that if she takes it away or keep it off, you will make sure you to do the same when you take the kids on holiday yourself.

fannyanna

As a woman I have to say that I am amazed at some of the responses to this post.

I've seen a lot of posts in the past where the Dad has taken the children on holiday and Mum has had no contact. Everyone always sides with Mum and says that Dad is awful.

Now that a man is in the exact same situation all of a sudden he has no right to be upset about not having any contact with the children.

Double standards or what!

gRoberts

Thank you FBaby and Fannyanna.

I was starting to consider that I may be in the wrong, given both Rikki and PrincessDreamer were giving such compelling cases against me.

All I wanted was a bit of common decency and for my ex to let me know, as she did others that she wasn't taking her phone. It's expected from me, so I should be able to expect it in return.

Again, thank you ALL for your comments. Both good and bad.

princessdreamer

No the mother is usually the full time carer who knows the childrens routine whereas the father has them every other week. They are used to going days on end without talking to the father but not used to going without talking to the mother.

The bit about the children getting older and suddenly thinking the RP is evil and the NRP is a saint is as I said delusional in most cases. My oldest grew up realised his father was a waster, the next one learned the same and the last one couldn't pick him out in a line up.

fannyanna

OP - you're a man and you therefore have no rights when it comes to your child (actually her child unless you're talking about child support). Your ex is a woman and can do whatever she wants. How dare you have the audacity to challange this?

*rolls eyes*

And yes I am being 100% sarcastic!

loubeedoo

Hope you don't mind if I stick my oar in :wave:

As a RP of 2 boys aged 15 and 5, (who have different dads!), I feel you are right to be concerned.

If either of them took my boys away I'd want daily contact with them, however, if it were outside the UK, then I'd understand that that wouldn't be possible. Mobiles, hotels, and phone cards can be expensive.

OP, could she have told your sons father, but neglected to tell you because she just forgot? I say this, as I'm extremely dizzy, and ususally have my phone surgically attached to me but can never find my charger at home, let alone to pack. Constantly forget what time to pick my eldest up from clubs, sports etc, and have been known to leave my youngest at school, because I thought they were doing a whole day and not a week of mornings for his 2nd week of school.:eek:

You know that she has contacted your mother, and having realised she forgot to tell you, talked (via facebook) to your mum, in the hope that a message was passed on or just to let you know that they have arrived and are safe?

Could you await her return, and calmly see what she says, and knowing her as you do, judge her from her actions when she has returned and not judge her on an assumption you have jumped to (you did say you might be paranoid about it).

I'm now going to hide in my bomb shelter....:p

Ps Hope they are both safe and they're probably having a ball!

gRoberts

"Usual", "most cases", what next, "assume"?

Careful, otherwise you may find your self being labelled by others.

gRoberts

loubeedoo wrote: »

Hope you don't mind if I stick my oar in :wave:

As a RP of 2 boys aged 15 and 5, (who have different dads!), I feel you are right to be concerned.

If either of them took my boys away I'd want daily contact with them, however, if it were outside the UK, then I'd understand that that wouldn't be possible. Mobiles, hotels, and phone cards can be expensive.

OP, could she have told your sons father, but neglected to tell you because she just forgot? I say this, as I'm extremely dizzy, and ususally have my phone surgically attached to me but can never find my charger at home, let alone to pack. Constantly forget what time to pick my eldest up from clubs, sports etc, and have been known to leave my youngest at school, because I thought they were doing a whole day and not a week of mornings for his 2nd week of school.:eek:

You know that she has contacted your mother, and having realised she forgot to tell you, talked (via facebook) to your mum, in the hope that a message was passed on or just to let you know that they have arrived and are safe?

Could you await her return, and calmly see what she says, and knowing her as you do, judge her from her actions when she has returned and not judge her on an assumption you have jumped to (you did say you might be paranoid about it).

I'm now going to hide in my bomb shelter....:p

Ps Hope they are both safe and they're probably having a ball!

Now, this is better. Yes, you have a point to raise, but instead of making me out to sound like a utter !!!!!! (thanks Rikki and PrincessDreamer), you've done it nicely. So thank you, really.

Granted that may be the issue, and contrary to what it may seem, I'm not calling the police, or signing court forms etc. I will be calmly approaching my ex when I pick the kids up on the day she returns.

I don't see her simply forgetting. It's not in her nature. Plus, she knows I'd be upset over this.

But as I should, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, assuming she'd forgotten, but you can imagine, had it of been the other way around, I'd probably be arrested on my return.

Everyone assumes because i'm the father and I'm complaining, that I'm some douchebag, lowlife, CSA dodging, no contact and dole queuing idiot.

I was dragged backwards through courts by my son's biological father, who at the time, I thought was a right tw*t. But really, after splitting up with my ex, I could see what we were putting him through, happening to me.

But hey. By all means, think of me as you will. My children will realise who's really there for them and who's there for the ride. When they do, they'll do the right thing, if authorities don't intervene in the mean time.