Fresh Air for dinner if I carry on like this.....

freshair_2

Hi,

I have had a light bulb flickering on and off for the last 4 years, done a bit to pay back my debt but invariably loose the will to live because of something else and it goes on the back burner.

This time I will payback every tiny bit, I am not going to post an SOA yet as there are a million and one things changing over the next month or so, including moving back into my own home having tried to live with BF unsuccessfully, but that is another story, so me and DS off home again, I am hoping that this will help me focus, the other major decision I have made is to sell my dealry beloved horse, who has been part of my little family for the past 10 years, and I have tried to keep her but as the title suggests its not going well.

I have resolved myself to the fact that someone will feed her, and look after her but there is only me that can look after me and DS.

My debt stands at just short of 10k, which isn't a lot considering some people, but it is having a major impact on my life, (just to add have paid 15k over the last 4 years). Oh and the 140k mortgage but 1 step at a time

So to start with this diary I think is more about helping me get my life straight first. I have come up with a positive point for moving again, its declutter time, so if its old, broken, not needed, not wanted, or doesn't fit then it will be finding a new home. DS has also agreed that his new cousin can have the baby things, at 6 I'm sure he doesn't really need mega blocks and lego, just the lego me thinks, and thats just one thing!!!!!

Bit of background - DS dad believes that he should be paying £5 per week towards DS up keep, interesting but being as though I have had enough of rowing with him, have decided that it's best to stand on our own feet, i.e. not required on voyage!!

The new BF, all fine and fantastically marvellous, moved in all started to change, so moving out to see if we can try and salvage the happiness we had before, there are a lot of issues on both sides including my debt so maybe that is what has given me the biggest kick up the rear end recently. I have to say though I have resigned myself to this not working out, just have this feeling.

So thats us in a very small nutshell.

So first step, is to actually put my advert for my horse online today....not really looking forward to this bit, but sacrifices have to be made for the greater good???

Hopefully, the diary will keep me sane while I'm moving etc. I will continue to read many other diaries as I have done on and off for years but this time I WILL put into action rather than just thinking that's a good idea, or how do they do that?

So fingers crossed, and good luck to me (and DS) :T

muffins22

Best of luck!!

Sorry to stick my oar in but £5 a week? I'd be trying to squeeze a lot more out of him.

freshair_2

Happy for yopu to stick your oar in, preferably in him, but if a person tells the CSA they are self employed and earn less than £100 per week, then that is all they have to pay, unfortunately it is very obvious that their home has a rather more affluent life style than mine. Another story that is being deleted from my memory to make space for new happy times.

Tixy

Hi

Must have been a tough decision regarding the horse, but sounds like you know its right for you at the moment. Hope you find a great new home for her.

Good luck with the decluttering and changes you have coming up, I hope it works out for you and DS.

DebtFree2012

Hi hun

Will follow you with interest on your journey.

Have you got a summary of balances - not SOA - just something to get started on, along with APR's.

Do you have somewhere to live or moving in with parents etc?

Good luck on your quest to you and your son. Sorry about the horse, can you visit maybe? Or too upsetting?

xxx

freshair_2

Thanks for the comments

DebtFree, I have my own house but had rented to tenants but they have to move out, that didn't go down well with them as they 'expected to be there a while' mmm its not like I expected to need to move back though,

I have done the deed, the beastie is advertised, I am sure someone will love her as much as me,

So for a first day I have done well on my to do list....

1. Advertise horse - done hideous experience, and she hasn't gone anywhere yet that was just placing the ad!
2. Start MSE diary - doing

Tomorrow is another day, onwards and upwards.

Approximate balances as below
Barclays OD £2000 paying £125 per month agreed with Barclays
Virgin CC £450 only paying the minimum which is ridiculous as the interest is about 25%!!!!!
Egg CC £5400 about 24% (wish they had closed my account when they did loads of other people it was empty then!)
Barclaycard £600
Nationwide £2000
(ok so just over, but I know I have overestimated)

DebtFree2012

Well done on advertising your horse. I bet is it very hard to do

What's the plan of attack on the debt free journey? Are you going for highest APR first?

freshair_2

Virgin first - high apr low balance, hopefully this will keep me motivated. Then I think it will have to be the horrible egg monster. After that errrr not that far down the line at the moment,

MrsMoo2U

Just dropped in to wish you luck on your journey. So much to tackle there. So sorry that you have had to make the tough decision about the horse. Could you maybe lease her/him out rather than sell? Or loan for free so that you have the option later to take back on when you have the opportunity? Also if you lease out could you arrange to ride from time to time in return for mucking out etc? I know a few people who have done those things. Or do you prefer the clean break.

As for ex OH, I have no experience of this luckily but I would have the same attitude as you for now, try to stand on your own two feet as you have enough stress to deal with. Then when you have everything in place and feel stronger you can tackle the maintenance issue. Anything I have heard about CSA makes my bones shiver.

Will follow and see how you do.

Monkeynut

I think you've done a really positive thing deciding to sell your horse. Obviously it will be really difficult, but so many times on here I've read about people who are really struggling and literally can barely afford to feed themselves and their children, let alone their 3 cats and 4 dogs. I have always thought that must be such a horrible decision to have to make, as to people with pets, like yourselves, they are part of the family.

But I have so much respect for you to be able to make that difficult decision for the good of yourself and your son. Mrs Moos suggestions so that you can still see your horse sound like a really good idea if that is something you could work out.

Good luck on your journey, being on here is the best thing you could have done to help you along.

freshair_2

Thanks for the support, yes it was a difficult decision but very necessary. On the positive side someone has called this evening and is coming Saturday, fingers and toes crossed.

Have done some packing tonight so only about another 100 boxes to go, that is the good thing about moving often plenty of decluttering can be done