Being dumped when pregnant. Advice needed pls

happydays77_2

My boyfriend has told me he no longer wants to see me and I am currently almost 11 weeks pregnant. He tells me he wants nothing to do with myself or the baby. He has also stated that he will tell none of his family that I have ever had his child. We live in a small town and I think there is no way this will happen. I don't want to upset or anger him as he is a bit of a control freak so I am wondering the best way to handle questions off other people regarding the baby.
Should I completely keep his name out of the picture?
Thanks in advance

Gloomendoom

If I were you, I'd hire one of those aeroplanes that tows a banner and get it fly to around your town so everybody knows whose baby it is.

Be honest. If anybody asks, tell them. The father needs to face up to his responsibilities... or be made to.

happydays77_2

If only I could afford an aeroplane!!
I think honesty is the best policy it's just he scares me a bit and am worried about the repercussions. I just don't want to lie because liars are always found out at some point.

building_with_lego

Wow, you've had a very lucky escape. If anyone asks tell the truth- if he would like to contest there's always the DNA test route....
Don't forget about the CSA though, will you?!

Mrs_Arcanum

happydays77 wrote: »

My boyfriend has told me he no longer wants to see me and I am currently almost 11 weeks pregnant. He tells me he wants nothing to do with myself or the baby. He has also stated that he will tell none of his family that I have ever had his child. We live in a small town and I think there is no way this will happen. I don't want to upset or anger him as he is a bit of a control freak so I am wondering the best way to handle questions off other people regarding the baby.
Should I completely keep his name out of the picture?
Thanks in advance

Surely if you are in a small town people will know you two were dating and put 2 & 2 together. Just make sure you don't date anyone else until the bump is obvious. Good luck.

happydays77_2

I just find it upsetting he is refusing to even tell his parents or other children about it. I know this will come back on him on the future and hes going to look very cruel for what he has done. He thought by pressurising me I would have an abortion but as I stood my ground he has decided to dump me instead.
I feel I am well rid of him

DUTR

happydays77 wrote: »

My boyfriend has told me he no longer wants to see me and I am currently almost 11 weeks pregnant. He tells me he wants nothing to do with myself or the baby. He has also stated that he will tell none of his family that I have ever had his child. We live in a small town and I think there is no way this will happen. I don't want to upset or anger him as he is a bit of a control freak so I am wondering the best way to handle questions off other people regarding the baby.
Should I completely keep his name out of the picture?
Thanks in advance

Just tell people the truth, I'm surprised how many BFs are supposed to be control freaks, he must have left for a reason, but he will have to contribute financially when the baby comes along, good luck with the pregnancy.

happydays77_2

Mrs_Arcanum wrote: »

Surely if you are in a small town people will know you two were dating and put 2 & 2 together. Just make sure you don't date anyone else until the bump is obvious. Good luck.

Don't worry there is no danger that I will start to date anyone else.
I'm going to concentrate on me and the baby for now.
Thanks for your advice

happydays77_2

DUTR wrote: »

Just tell people the truth, I'm surprised how many BFs are supposed to be control freaks, he must have left for a reason, but he will have to contribute financially when the baby comes along, good luck with the pregnancy.

He actually dumped me because of my refusal to have an abortion.

Tish_P

He doesn't get to choose whether to support his child financially, and presumably people know you were going out and are aware babies don't come from the stork. How on earth does he expect the whole thing to be hushed up?

If he scares you, at least you can be very sure that the breakup is for the best for you and the kid.

jackyann

This sounds abusive ("scares" & "repercussions"). Get help from your local Women's Aid who will know the area, know the law, and are experienced; and you will then be in contact with others in a similar position. They can also put you in touch with a solicitor used to dealing with these situations (there is usually a certain amount of free help & they know how to access it and organise you so you don't pay for what you don't need) - let them deal with these issues.
By the time you are obviously pregnant, you can have your support system in place (if absolutely necessary, an injunction).
Good luck.