Being dumped when pregnant. Advice needed pls

sandraroffey

CSA is a must. and they will take the money from his pay before he even gets it.

and if he disputes paternity, tell him to do a DNA test - at his cost.


ps. sounds like a lucky escape to me.

ebayqueen_2

happydays77 wrote: »

I just find it upsetting he is refusing to even tell his parents or other children about it. I know this will come back on him on the future and hes going to look very cruel for what he has done. He thought by pressurising me I would have an abortion but as I stood my ground he has decided to dump me instead.
I feel I am well rid of him

Your last line says it all pet....you are well rid of him and if you have any sense, stay well clear of him.

He is no role model for this innocent child or of his other children.

Hold your head up. Take care of you and your child and you will be fine. Make sure that you seek from Social services etc. CSA will sort him out.

God bless:)

happydays77_2

Tish_P wrote: »

He doesn't get to choose whether to support his child financially, and presumably people know you were going out and are aware babies don't come from the stork. How on earth does he expect the whole thing to be hushed up?

If he scares you, at least you can be very sure that the breakup is for the best for you and the kid.

I have told him all this but he is still adamant that no one should tell any of his family. It will all come crashing round him eventually and I suppose I should just bide my time. In the meantime though I shall just tell the truth to whoever asks me.

DUTR

happydays77 wrote: »

He actually dumped me because of my refusal to have an abortion.

How does that make him a control freak? Only you choose whether to terminate or not, he has expressed his feeleings and made his descision, he will have to contribute financially even if it be 15% net.
As long as you have a good support network, I'm sure you both will do fine without him. Just keep yourself in good health and don't get overly stressed , although the following weeks and years will be challenging, others have succeeded so there is no reason you should not either.

happydays77_2

jackyann wrote: »

This sounds abusive ("scares" & "repercussions"). Get help from your local Women's Aid who will know the area, know the law, and are experienced; and you will then be in contact with others in a similar position. They can also put you in touch with a solicitor used to dealing with these situations (there is usually a certain amount of free help & they know how to access it and organise you so you don't pay for what you don't need) - let them deal with these issues.
By the time you are obviously pregnant, you can have your support system in place (if absolutely necessary, an injunction).
Good luck.

Thanks for your advice.
He is into mind games and has spent the last few weeks making me feel so worthless that I even considered doing what he wanted me too. I then managed to tell my dad what was going on and he has assured me that I have enough support around me to help me through this nightmare.

Mrs_Arcanum

happydays77 wrote: »

I have told him all this but he is still adamant that no one should tell any of his family. It will all come crashing round him eventually and I suppose I should just bide my time. In the meantime though I shall just tell the truth to whoever asks me.

You are definitely well rid and he does seem to be a bit thick as I am sure his family will find out one way or another. Then they may be mad at him for not telling them himself.

Ravenlady_2

He sounds like a right shirker and possibly afraid his mum will kick him up the A*** and face his responsibility and cough up to help provide for the child.

happydays77_2

Ravenlady wrote: »

He sounds like a right shirker and possibly afraid his mum will kick him up the A*** and face his responsibility and cough up to help provide for the child.

He actually told me his teenage daughter would be cross with him.

DUTR

happydays77 wrote: »

He actually told me his teenage daughter would be cross with him.

He will be all mixed up with emotions too, I'm not defending him, been there myself, just be mindful of support that slags him off, when things cool down he may come round and then you have to withdraw all the bad press respondants that don't even know him are saying. Some of his bad points should have been recognised long before you found out you were expecting. It takes two to make a baby, so he must have some good points .

It would have been nice to see support from those that have been in a similar position to what you find yourself in right now, share their experiences with you, each episode will be different although one episode may assist you massively.

Ravenlady_2

happydays77 wrote: »

He actually told me his teenage daughter would be cross with him.

Are you serious OMG :rotfl: I know its not funny but what an excuse not to have a child.