MSE Pregnancy Club 23

lisa26_2

Blimey lirin I can't believe they're being so horrible!!! I've had 9 appointments already, all in work time and they've not said a word......and I'm only 13+4!!!! I can't see that they have a leg to stand on. The medical experts know what care you need and by law your work have to accept that and let you have the time off. As if you don't already have enough to worry about without them being difficult about this! Stick to your guns hun....they're in the wrong not you!!

toniq

I have had so far:

private care for first 12 weeks after Ivf

scan at 6 weeks + consultant (twins)
scan at 8 weeks + consultant (lost 1 of twins)
scan at 9 weeks (to reassure me remaining baby still alive)
scan at 11 weeks + consultant
Hand over to NHS

11 week booking in appt Mw
12 week scan
13 week consultant
16 week Mw
had bleed at this point
17 week consultant
18 week Mw
20 week scan
20 week consultant
22 week Mw
25 week Mw (tomorrow)Am at this level now

To come:
27 week Mw
28 Week growth scan + consultant + Gtt
30 Week Mw
32 week Mw
34 Week Growth Scan + consultant
36 week mw
then weekly Mw till baby is born.

So your 11 is quite mild compared to some, as others have said every pregnancy is different xx

Blue_Monkey

Morning all!

I've not been on for a few days as we've been busy getting into our new place (final move) and our internet needed to be reconnected. Did I miss much? Hope everyone's ok?

I'm good, SO glad to be in our own place finally (after 8 weeks since moving back from Oz! :eek:), now we just need to make it homely, which is kind of easier said than done!

Had a bit of an awkward moment with my stepmum yesterday. ... She'd been to stay with a friend at the weekend who is a grandmother of two kids. My stepmum brought this baby bouncer chair home and just texted me a picture of it. It's one of those massive Fisher Price ones with 17 different settings for the swing, and millions of different vibration settings. OH and I had shyed away from those fancy ones and just wanted a plain chair with no fancy gadgets, kind of small/discreet and new. This one is in pretty good condition but it has also been through 2 children...... So when I popped in yesterday I kind of mentioned that we'd seen some others we had our eye on and that we appreciated the thought, and perhaps they could keep it at their house. Dad said she'd got another one from the same woman to keep there but no worries if we didn't want it. Then stepmum came in and Dad mentioned we might not want it and stepmum got really offended... I tried to backpeddle a bit and said perhaps I'd take it and show OH and see what we think and then bring it back if we weren't keen as I wasn't comfortable accepting it from her friend if we weren't going to use it. My stepmum said she paid them for it............... And then said it was her fault, that she should've checked with us first and shouldn't have got overexcited. So now I feel really bad and have kind of said we'll take it, even though we don't want it.

I know I'm being a bit of a fussbag and I do appreciate her thinking of us -but - we've bought nothing yet for the baby ourselves, we have started to put together a list of things we want, and we've been specific (ie haven't just said "moses basket", we've put down which one we want"). OH's parents have asked what they can get for us, so we will give them our list and let them decide. I'd much rather do it that way, so that they don't waste their time and money on bits we don't want. This is our first baby, it'll be all shiny and new and whilst I know it's not very MSE to get everything new, we at least want to have a say in what we get. We're not anti hand-me-downs at all, just that we want to be able to choose what we have. And the list is stuff we want to get, not stuff we expect people to get for us - we certainly weren't going to shove it under people's noses but if they were to ask if there bits they could get, we could show them....

Honestly, that baby chair thing is like a spaceship and a bit of an eyesore Perhaps I've got it all wrong and babies love that kind of thing, but the beeping and buzzing would drive me insane, plus anything that swings tends to make me want to vom, so I guess I automatically assume my baby would feel the same! We thought something like this or this would be more "us".:cool:

God I know this has become an issue in my head more than it is in reality, but I'm now dreading all the old toot we'll get. Or am I just being an ungrateful fussy cowbag? How do we handle this going forward? Do we just act pleased and grateful, stick it in the spare room and forget about it? Or do we politely say how we really feel?

lovecrafting

i dont really know what to advise to be honest, were in the same position mother in law has gone out and got a cot and a pram from my sister in law, yes she looks after stuff and its in good condition but we are kind of oblijed to use them now and i really wanted a lightweight pram because of all the stairs to the house (maisonette) this is one of those big bus things that will take all my effort to get up and down the stairs not to mention she is in scotland so i will need to get a corrier to bring them down.

Blue_Monkey

Oh blimey lovecrafting... I think it's the obligation part that gets to me. OH and I are both quite particular about what we like and don't, but now I feel backed into a corner with this... If we take it, stepmum knows it's because we feel obliged, if we don't take it, I feel like every time we mention a baby bouncer it will be a sore subject!!!

seafarers_wife

Blue Monkey, I went and bought everything so that we didnt have this issue, as like you this is our first and we want everything brand new so have gone ahead and got there first. DH's parents were a bit put out by this as they wanted to buy bits, but fortunatly or unfortunatly depending on how you look at it my bargain of a cotbed was faulty and had to be returned so they have been able to buy a replacement, but its something I feel to have settled on rather than what I wanted as I cant afford £800 on a cotbed similar to the one I had originally bought

Re the appointments Lirin, Ive had approx 14 apts so far with the midwife, scans and consultant, and then on top of that ive had apts approx every 3 weeks for the diabetic clinic and weekly osteopath apts as well.

My work were a nightmare about this to start with as they were under the impression that i had to "owe" them the time back till I printed them out a copy of their own maternity policy :rotfl: I did try and be flexible for a while but then they annoyed me so much that i delibertly started scheduling apts during work time and then i went on maternity leave at 29 weeks as they had annoyed me that much.

Im having a pottering day today, have the consultant, a scan and the diabetic clinic this afternoon so not gettign chance to get my afternoon kip in so taking it easy this morning. have made DH promise to have the loft fully sorted by end of next week so I can organise the babys room and pack the hospital bags just in case.

4nnabella

My MIL has bought us a few bits, so far mainly 'starter packs' of sleepsuits and bodysuits, but she has got a moses basket and stand from a friend (who collects 'doll babies' and used it to display them in so it's never actually been used by a 'real' baby...) but we had already got a moses basket from the staff shop here so she has said she'll just keep it at their house for when we go round.

From what I've gathered from friends and family with babies, like my brother and SIL, they borrowed one of the all-singing, all-dancing swing things from a friend of theirs and my nephew didn't like it at all. He much prefers the simple bouncer chairs like in the links you posted, and they've got a lot more use out of a chair like that than they ever would out of a big fancy swing one. But, you might find that your baby likes them, some do! You just won't know until you try it I guess. I get what you mean about the obligation part though... It's tricky

With regards to appointments, I've had so far:

Inital GP appointment
Booking in appointment
12 week scan
16 week MW appointment
20 week scan
24 week MW appointment
One antenatal session at hospital

I've got my 28 week MW appointment booked in for the 3rd November.

When I was telling my manager about the antenatal session I said that it was just the one last week, and then we're booked in for an all-day series of the other four workshops they do, but it's on a Saturday. My manager said it was a shame they didn't book me in for a weekday one, as I'd get it paid! It's like she's encouraging me to take the time off work!

Blue_Monkey

SFW - Ideally we would've got everything like you, but given the move back from Aus and only just getting in our own place, we've had to put our baby list on the backburner a little bit.

Annabella - I know, I think we have to take it now tbh. OH reckons we should've told them we'd "just this weekend ordered one". And who knows maybe bubs will love it. But it's just a bit old, a bit big, a bit tatty and not what we want, so I know I'll be loathed to even put him/her in it in the first place! Seems a waste to have it hidden in the spare/storage room, especially when stepmum has paid for it. And I know she earns really very little and we can more than afford to buy everything ourselves

A friend of ours was due exactly a month before me (ie 11 November), but had her baby yesterday, 3 weeks early (5lbs 12oz boy)! Eeeeeek! It's all getting scarily close. I'm starting to wonder whether stopping work at 37+3 is leaving it a bit close!! Granted I work from home so it's pretty easy, but I'm so over it all (work that is) and starting to panic about popping early!

4nnabella

I'm finishing at 36+5, on the 30th December, and am worried that I'll pop early too! My mum was induced early with both her pregnancies, as she stopped gaining weight towards the end with my brother and then was losing weight with me, but I'm not sure exactly how early we both were. But I'm worried it'll be something hereditary that'll mean I go early too... I really should ask her (again, as I have asked her a couple of times what caused it and how early we were but I keep forgetting...)

When MIL rang and said about the moses basket, I was able to honestly say 'we've just bought one' as it was only a few days or so later. Maybe you'll just have to take it for now, and if it ends up hidden in the spare room then so be it. I get that other people are excited about the baby too, but really I would have thought she should have asked you if you were at all interested in it before going ahead and getting it. We had a (sort of) similar problem with our wedding, as OH's father is a very keen photographer and offered to do the photos on the day for us, but I really wanted to get a professional (plus didn't really want him hanging around taking pics of me when I was getting ready, etc) so I just tactfully told him that he was welcome to take as many pics as he wanted, but that we would be getting another photographer as well. I know it;s not exactly the same situation, but I know how awkward it can be to try to say no thanks without offending!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

LIRIN http://www.businesslink.gov.uk/bdotg/action/detail?itemId=1080903029&type=RESOURCES

They CAN NOT refuse you any time off. They CAN however request a letter from the Midwife to say you are at the appointment. I'm at the hospital every other week. Each time I go I need to get a letter stating that I was where I said I was.

DO NOT allow them to force you to "make up" the hours - YOU are ENTITLED to the time off.

I have a pain on my bump - Not lower (which i find odd) its right at the top - not a sharp pain, its constant - any ideas?! MW not answering her phone