Boyfriend Constantly Oggling....

FatVonD

DH used to be not above a bit of staring at girls when we were out shopping sometimes to the point that they'd notice. It stopped after he caught me looking out of the window at a neighbour's gardener (Lady Chatterley anyone? ) and I said 'now you know how I feel'. It did the trick and I've never told him I was actually just trying to work out how they could afford a gardener

Have you seen the episode of The Royle family where Dave mentions Pamela Anderson to Jim and Jim looks a bit leery before Barbara gives him 'the look' and he says to Dave (as if Dave's out of order for even thinking it) 'I've got everything i want right here' (Barbara with her fag and her slippers!) If there's a gorgeous girl about that he's trying not to stare at DH says that and we both laugh about it. Give it a try!

BitterAndTwisted

He sounds like a weirdo. I'd get shot of him

NAR

Roslin, sirry this may seem harsh but IMHO you are just a trophy on his arm and he is checking out who or what might replace you.

QuackQuackOops

Perhaps he likes spending time with you but its 'younger' female that do it for him.

Id drop him like a stone!

Roslin8

Thanks for the comments and input everyone, just a quick update as we are out at the moment, no staring going on this evening! Having sai that there isn't much to look at!

I have never minded someone looking or glancing at the opposite sex, I believe it also to abnormal to not have a quick glance, it's his ogling to distraction at the the point of doing it constantly that has started to bother me.

He looks at all ages if it's an attractive women but yes I suppose if I am to analyse it it's more than likely girls in their mid 20's, I once had a theory after some comments that he had made that he like newly qualified trainee lawyers looking up to him, so I always thought he gets off on the power thing? The in awe thing? I will mention it when it happens again and tell him it's driving me a bit mad having to repeat the odd thing here and there! Believe me when other fellas look over at me he instantly comes over to put his arms around me, I think he could be with Halle flippen Berry and still look around! I just wanted to understand why he was doing it to such an obvious extent!

Roslin8

Sorry about the terrible grammar and spelling, I am a tad tipsy and trying to type on this phone in powder room!

mademoiselle_2

Roslin -

I can't understand how you've taken so long to articulate a complaint about this behaviour - and even then,you're saying it to us, not him!

You are describing incredibly disrespectful behaviour, a complete deal-breaker in my opinion when looking for a partner.

What is equal in being made to feel like a spare part whilst the man you sleep with stares at other women like they are pieces of meat?

I wouldn't stand for it for one second! The words "what the hell is wrong with you!!!" would have been off my lips before he had completed even 10 seconds of staring... and it would act as a complete turn off.

This is truly nasty behaviour. Don't ignore it, or try to explain it away as something he's not been 'taught' to do. Any man with an IQ over 40 knows this is disgusting behaviour towards women - and he is a barrister!

You have my sympathy... but you really, really should TELL him this is obnoxious.

teagan1966

my x husband did this and still does ,hes 54 now and he reminds me of a dirty old man now and im sure the women he looks at think the same , hes on his 3rd marriage now looking shakey aswell , he cheated also
my daughter whoes 13 has commented on it for a few years , so what she thinks i have no idea
every one looks i dont think thats a problem but when there actually staring its quite pervy i think myself

make_me_wise

I am imagining myself as 'Joe Bloggs' seeing you two together. There he is one minute being adoring to you and you are bubbly and happy, holding his hand. Next minute he is obsessively staring at one or more women to the point that he is completely distracted. I then see you pull away, look upset and withdraw into yourself. No matter how carefully you are trying to hide your feelings they will show. I think to myself what is wrong with him that he is with this attractive, nicely presented woman who obviously loves being in his company, but is ignoring her. Then I wonder what is going on in your head that you allow him to humiliate you and treat you so shabilly.

This sad perv is showing you absolutely no respect whatsoever hun. Which kind of begs the question why do you put up with it? Why when you see this happening do you not front him with it and ask what the hell he thinks he is playing at? If you did he couldn't squirm out of it, tell you that you are imagining it all, that its your insecurities and he doesn't do it. All stuff I think you would have thrown at you if you dont sort it at the time it happens.

Im sorry OP but I think you are hooked up with a wrong-un. His oggling other women I suspect is the tip of the iceberg of his problems. And to be blunt yours if you stay with him.

Im not a prude, in fact I am quite a flirt. However I would never behave in this way and treat my husband so awfully. There is a saying my dad use to use 'its okay to look, but not touch'. There are limits to this though. Just because you are involved with someone does not mean other people suddenly stop being attractive and a quick appreciative glance at some good looking other is fine. To take it to the extreme your bf is though is ridiculous.

I notice your post was written at nearly 1 in the morning. This is obviously deeply troubling you. Does this relationship really do anything for you or is it just causing you alot of anxiety and stress?

Errata

Roslin8 wrote: »

Believe me when other fellas look over at me he instantly comes over to put his arms around me,

That's pretty bizarre behaviour by any standard, why on earth do you let him do that?