Boyfriend Constantly Oggling....

ali-t

Auntie-Dolly wrote: »

I must admit I too wondered about petit mal.

If the OP is reluctant to speak to him she can tell him she would like him to go to the GP to get a referral for epilepsy investigations as he keeps going into trances. The trigger seems to be pretty women but she is really really worried incase it happens when he is driving

DUTR

Auntie-Dolly wrote: »

I must admit I too wondered about petit mal.

Petit mal seizures occur most commonly in people under age 20, usually in children ages 6 to 12.
They may occur with other types of seizures, such as generalized tonic-clonic seizures (grand mal seizures), twitches or jerks (myoclonus), or sudden loss of muscle strength (atonic seizures).



OP why are you so releuctant to let him go? Is it fair on the two of you?
I mentioned in my earlier post about a chat with one of my friends, i understand her 'concerns' and all it has left me is feeling the friendship should reduce somewhat

Lotus-eater

I like to look at pretty women as much as any bloke, in fact any woman but it's not on that he is doing the long stares, for you or the other woman.

You should have really nipped this in the bud when it started, but I understand that way it works.

Just tell him straight that it weirds you out, be honest and say it upsets you greatly and why does he do it?

You need to know the answer before you think about it any more.

Roslin8

Thank you all for your comments, yes, lots of questions I have to ask myself. I suppose I never said anything the first time I majorly noticed it as I thought nothing much of it until the staring continued past a point of comfortableness, we were getting off a plane and had a great break away and were both rushing off as he had to get to court. I have gotten to the point where it weirds me out, so I think I am questioning the longevity of the relationship in general. Overall I think I never mentioned it because he is a kind, caring and affectionate man and I thought I could overlook this as it was pretty infrequent but this last time made me feel odd and I will tell him how I feel next time he does it. I have no issues with men looking at other women, and don't believe I am insecure, as he frequently tells me I am out of his league too, plus I can also admire beautiful men/women, But it was the ogling to the degree of distraction that has gotten to me.

The next time it happens I will say something and perhaps mention all the times I have felt creeped out. I do think he doesn't realise he's doing it, I just wanted someone else's take on it and really appreciate your replies! We are going out to an event this evening in fact, so if it happens again to the same extent I will be having a conversation with him before he tries to get all romantic shall we say!

DUTR

Roslin8 wrote: »

Thank you all for your comments, yes, lots of questions I have to ask myself. I suppose I never said anything the first time I majorly noticed it as I thought nothing much of it until the staring continued past a point of comfortableness, we were getting off a plane and had a great break away and were both rushing off as he had to get to court. I have gotten to the point where it weirds me out, so I think I am questioning the longevity of the relationship in general. Overall I think I never mentioned it because he is a kind, caring and affectionate man and I thought I could overlook this as it was pretty infrequent but this last time made me feel odd and I will tell him how I feel next time he does it. I have no issues with men looking at other women, and don't believe I am insecure, as he frequently tells me I am out of his league too, plus I can also admire beautiful men/women, But it was the ogling to the degree of distraction that has gotten to me.

The next time it happens I will say something and perhaps mention all the times I have felt creeped out. I do think he doesn't realise he's doing it, I just wanted someone else's take on it and really appreciate your replies! We are going out to an event this evening in fact, so if it happens again to the same extent I will be having a conversation with him before he tries to get all romantic shall we say!

Are you sure he is not just day dreaming, if he has court n stuff going on, then he naturally has stuff on his mind, but to call him wierd , pervy , letchy etc is a sure way to kill off the friendship, the reality he is none of those unless he is into ...well gary glitter type illegal stuff, and I'm sure you would have detected that during conversation already.

Roslin8

Hi DUTR, yes I'm sure it's not daydreaming and not Gary Glitter type of stuff, it's just noticing an attractive girl/women and perhaps not realising that he is staring for as long as he is and I suppose I need to ascertain whether it's something he is aware of or not. I don't think he is a perv or I wouldn't be with him, I do wonder what he gets for staring as intently as he does and I think my question to him will be 'do you realise that not only do you stare at every woman walking past, but at times it gets so intense and prolonged that I feel you are no longer in the same place as I am!' and probably a lot more!

DUTR

Roslin8 wrote: »

Hi DUTR, yes I'm sure it's not daydreaming and not Gary Glitter type of stuff, it's just noticing an attractive girl/women and perhaps not realising that he is staring for as long as he is and I suppose I need to ascertain whether it's something he is aware of or not. I don't think he is a perv or I wouldn't be with him, I do wonder what he gets for staring as intently as he does and I think my question to him will be 'do you realise that not only do you stare at every woman walking past, but at times it gets so intense and prolonged that I feel you are no longer in the same place as I am!' and probably a lot more!

Why not , just wave your hand across his path of vision (when he does it) and ask if he is ok? (with a smile on your face) , if you are chatting at the time, he may not have time to stare

Roslin8

The waving hand gesture thing, that sounds like a good idea!

Lotus-eater

If it's playing on your mind now, I'd bring it up before he does it again. He might not even realise, I zone out sometimes and a hand waved in front of my face is always a good idea.

Kay_Peel

I'd be inclined to take out a tissue and wipe his mouth saying: 'You're dribbling'.:rotfl: