DD Self Harming

jellytot79

hi,
i found out a few months ago my 14 yr old daughter had also been self harming. i also found out by accident.
i did tell the school and they were really good about it and kept an eye out for her, if they felt she was on a bit of a downer or quieter than usual, sitting on corners at break times they would phone me. i also took her to the dr who after a few appointments gave her anti depressants, she has also seen a counsellor.
none of this is what i wanted for my daughter, i knew we were going rough a rough time but i thought it was all ok.
it was a huge shock to find out what she had been doing and that it had been going on a few months un-noticed.
like your daughter mine told me she wouldn't do it anymore, but it's not true, they find somewhere else to do it where you can't see. my daughter doesn't like talking about it to me, mainly beacuse she knows it upsets me but she will speak to the dr/counsellor.
4 months later she is a LOT better than she was, she's happier and the scars are healing...but i know she still does it ocassionally. it becomes habit, a coping mechanism. she has said she doesn't want to do it and doesn't know why she does.
it will get better soon and needs a bit of patience on your part, when you want to go and hide anything sharp from their rooms! but someone told me that if you do that then they will always find something else anyway.
one thing that i think helped is that i said that now i knew about it, i wanted her to become more open about it and not feel she has to hide herself, she began sitting in the sittingroom more often and wearing t-shirts again. now i know when she's in her room more often something is bothering her.
i feel for you as it's really difficult knowing there's nothing you can do to help.
x