Me and My Girls

Red_Panda_2

Were you married or just partners? as if you were not married he may not have parental responsibility.

Which means he should not be able to move thier doctors or choose a school without your agreement.

lala9

We were not married, when we split up he marched me down to the court to get the parental responsibility agreement signed off, clearly anticipating taking control away from me. So with this agreement in place however he still requires my permission and knows that, so is trying every trick in the book to get what he wants.

tattycath

Just to put a balance on this there are 2 sides to every story. My Partners ex blogged on a forum a load of stuff about how her ex was a control freak and courted public sympathy-which she got. It was a pack of rubbish. I'm not saying the OP is not telling the truth but i can sympathise with the poster who said that Dad really cares for his girls-my partner really cares for his kids-but the readers took his ex's version of events as gospel and made him out to be a monster.
Good luck OP, I hope everything gets sorted in the best interests of the children.

blue_monkey_2

tattycath wrote: »

Just to put a balance on this there are 2 sides to every story. My Partners ex blogged on a forum a load of stuff about how her ex was a control freak and courted public sympathy-which she got. It was a pack of rubbish. I'm not saying the OP is not telling the truth but i can sympathise with the poster who said that Dad really cares for his girls-my partner really cares for his kids-but the readers took his ex's version of events as gospel and made him out to be a monster.
Good luck OP, I hope everything gets sorted in the best interests of the children.

For a start, 'Caring Dad's' do not change the children to a different GP without informing the mother. These are the actions of a control freak.

Had this child had to have been taken there by the school then it would have caused no end of problems for a start. Then there is the fact the mother may not have been able to use an emergency GP out of hours because the child was registered in a different area. Indeed, I was not allowed my old GP when I moved 10 miles because I then lived to far away to be able to use that surgery.

Unless you have had experience about this kind of undermining, bullying behaviour I guess it would seem far fetched and maybe lies - only I have suffered at the hands of someone lie this, I still have hours (and I mean hours) of tapes in the loft of the abuse I had to endure before being allowed to speak to my DD. That was unless they decided to put the phone down after and not let me speak to her anyway. Or they would say 'you have 30 minutes to come and get her' and they would go out. Then we would arrange for her to be with me and instead they would go on holiday. And then they would not answer the phone again if they knew it was me calling. I could go on, but you get my drift. They would have told you a completely different story about me - in the end my daughter hated me so much she went to live with them.

This too was because I decided it was in her best interests to have 2 sets of parents like the OP. They hated her having any sort of relationship with me (she was not even allowed to say the word mum/mummy in their house - and they told CAFCASS that) in the end they battered her down until she hated me enough to not want anything to do with me and she said I was the biggest liar she had ever met, even told her that my asthma was 'made up for sympathy' and she believed them. We ran out of money to get her back - literally, we could get no more credit to be able to fight them as we did not get legal aid - they were on legal aid so could do whatever they wanted, got a residence orderby lying to the court, and to this day we are still paying for our legal costs and we do not even know where DD is.

You clearly have absolutely no idea what it is like to live in fear of someone day in, day out. Lucky you. Still, i guess there would be 2 sides to their story too - only theirs was b*llsh*t and I have the tapes to prove it.

STOCKWIRE

blue_monkey wrote: »

For a start, 'Caring Dad's' do not change the children to a different GP without informing the mother. These are the actions of a control freak.

Had this child had to have been taken there by the school then it would have caused no end of problems for a start. Then there is the fact the mother may not have been able to use an emergency GP out of hours because the child was registered in a different area. Indeed, I was not allowed my old GP when I moved 10 miles because I then lived to far away to be able to use that surgery.

Unless you have had experience about this kind of undermining, bullying behaviour I guess it would seem far fetched and maybe lies - only I have suffered at the hands of someone lie this, I still have hours (and I mean hours) of tapes in the loft of the abuse I had to endure before being allowed to speak to my DD. That was unless they decided to put the phone down after and not let me speak to her anyway. And then not answer the phone again if they knew it was me calling.

You clearly have absolutely no idea what it is like to live in fear of someone day in, day out. Lucky you. Still, i guess there would be 2 sides to their story too - only theirs was b*llsh*t and I have the tapes to prove it.

The op was in an abusive relationship AFTER she left the girls father.

tattycath

blue_monkey wrote: »

For a start, 'Caring Dad's' do not change the children to a different GP without informing the mother. These are the actions of a control freak.
But if a mother changed drs of children that would be deemed to be fine...
Had this child had to have been taken there by the school then it would have caused no end of problems for a start. Then there is the fact the mother may not have been able to use an emergency GP out of hours because the child was registered in a different area. Indeed, I was not allowed my old GP when I moved 10 miles because I then lived to far away to be able to use that surgery.

Unless you have had experience about this kind of undermining, bullying behaviour I guess it would seem far fetched and maybe lies - only I have suffered at the hands of someone lie this, I still have hours (and I mean hours) of tapes in the loft of the abuse I had to endure before being allowed to speak to my DD. That was unless they decided to put the phone down after and not let me speak to her anyway. Or they would say 'you have 30 minutes to come and get her' and they would go out. Then we would arrange for her to be with me and instead they would go on holiday. And then they would not answer the phone again if they knew it was me calling. I could go on, but you get my drift. They would have told you a completely different story about me - in the end my daughter hated me so much she went to live with them.

This too was because I decided it was in her best interests to have 2 sets of parents like the OP. They hated her having any sort of relationship with me (she was not even allowed to say the word mum/mummy in their house - and they told CAFCASS that) in the end they battered her down until she hated me enough to not want anything to do with me and she said I was the biggest liar she had ever met, even told her that my asthma was 'made up for sympathy' and she believed them. We ran out of money to get her back - literally, we could get no more credit to be able to fight them as we did not get legal aid - they were on legal aid so could do whatever they wanted, got a residence orderby lying to the court, and to this day we are still paying for our legal costs and we do not even know where DD is.
Yes, my partners ex doesn't think their kids should have 2 sets of parents either, we're not allowed to be mentioned in their house, children never take any photos if we are on them, but they bring photos to show us with other parents on-because we don't mind and other parents do
You clearly have absolutely no idea what it is like to live in fear of someone day in, day out. Lucky you. Still, i guess there would be 2 sides to their story too - only theirs was b*llsh*t and I have the tapes to prove it.

sorry for what you've been through, I know exactly what it's like to live in fear of someone day in day out-I have lived it myself -unfortunately. My OHs ex chats bulls**t too-there's alot of them about.

princessdreamer

tattycath unless you lived with your partner and his ex while they were together you have no idea what went on. He is unlikely to tell you he was an abusive bully. I know my ex tells his girlfriend I am a mental liar, TBH I would find it funny if he did go for access as my sons will soon put both of them straight on what kind of man he is. Any woman who thinks teenagers think anything other than what they decide is fooling themselves.

tattycath

princessdreamer wrote: »

tattycath unless you lived with your partner and his ex while they were together you have no idea what went on. He is unlikely to tell you he was an abusive bully. I know my ex tells his girlfriend I am a mental liar, TBH I would find it funny if he did go for access as my sons will soon put both of them straight on what kind of man he is. Any woman who thinks teenagers think anything other than what they decide is fooling themselves.

That's right, I didn't live with my partner while ex was on the scene-I did live with him when ex was trying to tarnish him and the lies that were told related to the time his was/is with me-which i obviously would know about as I was with him.
No, I agree he would only give me his version of events-just like his ex gave her versions of events to people who would not know otherwise.
Did i say he was or was not an abusive bully? My ex and i had a volatile relationship, but my current partner is totally the opposite-he's not a doormat, but he has never been bullying in anyway and we have lived together for a number of years-so i think i would know by now if he was.
The OPs girls are not teenagers, My OHs kids are not teenagers-I do have experience of teenagers, the ones who are terrified of their mother(s) and the ones who just say what they think-regardless of if they are told what to say or not

blue_monkey_2

STOCKWIRE wrote: »

The op was in an abusive relationship AFTER she left the girls father.

Kind of happens when you have left an abusive relationship, sometimes it takes a while to realise.

She is not in one NOW and that is the important thing. She realised and got out.

however, the children are frightened of their father so is the one they have with him healthy then?

blue_monkey_2

tattycath, the drs needs to be where they are accessible for the children - their medical history is there and no doubt they will not have any notes for moths while they go back and forth. This is why a court order needs to be in place to stop this happening, the father is the one that has moved, he should be putting himself out if this was the decision he made, not moving the child's gp without telling the mother. Clearly they must be in that area more often as they go to school in the area where they currently RESIDE. The mother get's child benefit so we can assume that unless he has a court order, their residence is with her and so she can choose the doctors the child goes to.

Scary that NR parents can go around changing schools and doctors without the permission of the resident parent.