14 year old son in a strop-again!

Inbloom

gravitytolls wrote: »

l, never sits in bed half naked, always completely covered,

Sorry but why would you know this? Sounds like an invasion of privacy to me, especially seeing as they are above the age of concent!

Lotus-eater

jamespir wrote: »

i agree with seperate rooms but i think your being a bit harsh boys can be friends with girls without wanting to jump them

Really?

Thinking back to when I was 14, this couldn't be more wrong!

I would let her stay, but he sleeps downstairs. You can tell him it's for her reputation if you like, or anything, but that it the rule, no sleepy downstairs, no sleepy, fullstop.


BUT, if they want to have sex, then they will, I never did it once in my parents house, but I had it hundreds of times by the time I was 16/17, anywhere will do.

shellsuit

If it were my 15yo son, I'd say no.

BUT, I'm a hypocrite, as my daughter is 13 and has stayed at one of her male friends houses before, with 2 other girls. Saying that though, the lad still looks about 10 and I know his Mum quite well. Plus my daughter always drags him out shopping with her, so I think he might not be interested in the girls in that way IYSYIM?

Person_one

For a bit of balance, my parents let me have my boyfriend stay over when I was 16. Doors closed, privacy, 'OMG' we actually had sex, and guess what? Nothing bad happened at all. Two teenagers did what was completely natural.

As for national service, didn't seem to work on this chap:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8698832/Manchester-riots-soldier-charged-with-burglary-remanded-in-custody.html

onlyroz

I don't think I would have a problem with it, as long as they slept in separate rooms.

Kimberley82

Is that not a bit sexist? His male friends can stay but female ones cant?

make_me_wise

Ravenlady wrote: »

I had sleep overs with boys and girls, boys were allowed to stay in my room but the door was taken off the hinges, not that I would dream of doing it with my parents in the house. My best friend at 15 was the boy next door, we had sleepovers from about the age of 8 even topped and tailed a few times but from the age of around 13 the door came off, even with girls just to make sure we were not smoking crack, doing a ouija board or anything 'experimental'

Did your parents have such little trust in you that they really believed you would be up to all the above? I would have been absolutely mortified if my bedroom door had to be taken off its hinges, just because friends were coming round for a sleepover. Not that I would have got up to anything. Id have been really upset that my parents felt it necessary.

I had/have the kind of friends who would have found that totally bizarre and would have questioned it. To be honest I think it would have made for a very uncomfy atmosphere. What would have been wrong with your mum or dad just knocking on the day and then coming in? Mine often did this, usually to offer us a drink or something to eat. No doubt to do a check on us but it was done subtly and showed us all some respect and trust.

In answer to your question OP I dont see anything wrong in the friend staying over. I wouldn't suggest she sleep in his room. But if she were in a spare room or crashed in the lounge there is no harm is there. Teens need to be given opportunities to prove they can be trusted.

MackemPunk

Ermmm... just to point something out, are you sure your son is 'into' girls? because surely this changes things massively if he doesn't find women attractive.

mrshappy

Thank you all very much for your replies. Plenty of food for thought there. To be honest it's just not something I feel comfortable with, maybe partly because I remember what I was like at that age :eek:
assj and amanda65-I am aware that they could get up to anything anywhere if they were going to, however I just don't think mixed sleepovers are appropriate at their age.

Dave101t-As I have previously said, I have a very open and honest relationship with him-we can and do talk about anything, my husband, who is my sons stepdad 100% backs up what I say, however, he is working away from home this weekend.

Gingham R-it was me who said no to staying at her house, I don't know what her parents thoughts were.

MackemPunk-he has had a few girlfriends in the past and does seem to be 'into' girls, during our wee chat last night he did say "eeeeww, you don't seriously think I'd do anything like that with *****, aw yuk" so I don't think he's into this friend that way, but I do remember from my teens that I didn't particularly fancy some of the blokes I got up to a bit of mischief with, lol

toptotty123

Like you my son is 14 and he is best friends with a girl but she is also 14. He recently asked if she could come on holiday. To start with I wasn't sure but then I spoke to her mum and she said it would be fine because they are just friends which is true and I think that is all they will ever be.
So I have said she can come.