I am a mean parent

Voyager2002

aliasojo wrote: »

You lot are unbelievable.

If someone had posted here about how badly her daughter had acted over the years and how she was still standing with her hand out expecting to still be supported now she was 18, you'd all be telling the poster to cut off the purse strings and tell the daughter to grow up and get a job like thousands of other uni kids have to do.

Instead you immediately jump on the emotive bad Mother aspect without knowing the first thing about the circumstances. It's amazing how you can all judge someone's life and situation just from 2 or 3 short posts.

OP live your life as you see fit.

Most students have a part-time job to supplement their loans.

The income that "mean parent" gets means that her daughter's loan will be so low that living on it would be impossible. The daughter would therefore need to work so many hours that success in her studies would be virtually impossible.

aliasojo

Voyager2002 wrote: »

Most students have a part-time job to supplement their loans.

The income that "mean parent" gets means that her daughter's loan will be so low that living on it would be impossible. The daughter would therefore need to work so many hours that success in her studies would be virtually impossible.

I understand that, but as I said earlier, no one knows what the situation is at home, so no one has the right to be so judgemental or derogatory to the OP, regardless of how it may affect the daughter.

No child is born into this world with a God given right to attend Uni.

liney

aliasojo wrote: »

I understand that, but as I said earlier, no one knows what the situation is at home, so no one has the right to be so judgemental or derogatory to the OP, regardless of how it may affect the daughter.

No child is born into this world with a God given right to attend Uni.

Teenagers fall out with their parents all the time. Eventually they grow into adults and usually the relationship is re-established on adult terms.

If 'Mother' scuppers her daughter's chances of a university education, particularly if she is intent on a career which requires this level of academic achievement, then she may well burn her bridges resulting in a lifetime of astrangement.

Whatever the, now, 18 year old has done, she is a child. Mother is an adult who should be seeing the bigger picture and not be playing petty games with her child's future. Abhorrent behavior.

aliasojo

liney wrote: »

Whatever the, now, 18 year old has done, she is a child.

Sorry, I completely disagree (surprise ). 18 is an adult. Old enough to drink and make decisions that form the basis of our society (i.e. vote). I had my own house by then.

I'm an expert in child/parent falling out (as any of the regulars here will no doubt remember from my own threads about my son), I know first hand how things can change, however I would never presume to judge someone on their personal choices when I haven't got the first clue about what's involved in their situation, the way some posters here have done. It's just not fair.

People seem to be of the opinion that it doesn't matter what the girl did or how badly her behaviour, she should be paid for not matter what. I simply don't share that view, sorry.

Maybe the OP is being extreme, maybe the daughter deserves being cut off more than she deserves a Uni course, who knows? The point is, none of us do so maybe people should be a little less presuming?

Anyway, I've said my bit so I'll bow out and leave you all to your thoughts. Sorry if I've got anyone's back up.

Voyager2002

aliasojo wrote: »

I understand that, but as I said earlier, no one knows what the situation is at home, so no one has the right to be so judgemental or derogatory to the OP, regardless of how it may affect the daughter.

No child is born into this world with a God given right to attend Uni.

Obviously we don't know the situation, but can make judgements on the basis of what is written. Of course, the OP may choose to add further information that would make us revise our opinions.

Personally, I think that making it impossible for a child to attend university would be an extreme step, one that I cannot imagine myself ever taking. Of course, it might make sense to use financial pressure to encourage a young person to delay university for a year or so, to enable them to acquire the maturity that study demands.

littlestar1981

I just think the OP needs to remember that like it or not her income WILL be taken into account, so by not helping it's going to be even harder for her daughter to go to uni. Maybe the OP will enjoy that fact, but that's my two penneth...

BKAT_9

Surely this thread must be a hoax??

BKAT_9

If this is sadly not a hoax perhaps OP should read this https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2205875

to give a different perspective on the matter.

alancam

Your daughter may be able to prove that she is permanently estranged from you and, therefore, be entitled to loans and grants calculated solely on her (and her partner's, if applicable) income.

liney

aliasojo wrote: »

Sorry, I completely disagree (surprise ). 18 is an adult. Old enough to drink and make decisions that form the basis of our society (i.e. vote). I had my own house by then.

If she has managed to pxss her parent off so badly within 12 months of turning 18, then she's done an amazing job!

The impression given is that there have been issues over a period of time, in which the daughter was infact below 18, and a child.