Breathing out, I smile – Bringing ZEN to the life of a DFW

Marru

Hello Budgie!! Hope you are getting better soon, sounds scary :eek:

I am on a business webinar. Everytime I am on one of these I think that I should just get out the rat race and set up my own business. But I just don't have the courage for it.

But on the other hand I have calculated that if I was to be able to get two paid animal communications per day, five days per week, that would earn me the same as sitting 7.5 hours in the office five days per week. So what is the matter with me for not completing the course to become professional and getting my profile out? I might contact my teacher for some support.

Anyhooo, I think I am going to quit this webinar now and go and communicate with my cat. Normally the conversation goes like this:

Me - I looooveee youuuu
Cat - purr purr, yeah I know, can I go to sleep now?
Me - I really loooooveee youuuuu
Cat - I got it, I got it, trying to get some sleep here
Me - You are soooooo beeeaaauuuutifuuuulllll
Cat - I am fully aware of that, now go to sleep and by the way, I love you too...

Marru

Monday morning and I am feeling good.

We went to London on Friday to renew DD's passport. All went smoothly and I wasn't that tired when we got back. BF did say that I had "that grey look" on me thou.

Saturday I had my treatment and that woman is amazing. She is doing wonders for me. I have decided to keep going every two weeks as the four week gap was too much. BF has been cooking and keeping the washing and washing up going this weekend so I did't have to worry about anything. I only did a quick shop in Mr M. I like shopping in Mr M. When I go to Mr T I am exhausted afterwards, Mr M wasn't bad at all.

So yesterday was for more relaxation. I am now reading book about Einstein's relativity theory (written in layman language) and it is fascinating. Also lots of knitting is going on. I finished a hot water bottle cover for myself and ordered wool to make one for DD. I did double moss stitch diamonds on mine but DD's will be a lion pattern. I shall have fun designing that. And an other pair of socks for me are under way.

Ummm, it has been a bit of a weekend for online shopping as I also bought my study text books in audio books. I am hoping to listen them in the evenings while knitting. I hope that would inspire me then to create the mind maps and keep on top of the studying.

All in all I am feeling really good at the moment. I am afraid that a day of reviews at work is going to undo a lot of that.

Marru

One more working week survived. Thereare a lots of silly office politics going on and I am too old for all that. Also we have asked to work next Saturday which is ok to me as that is the day DD is with her dad. BF is taking her and picking her up and we get the time back double.

One more CV sent out this week. I really want this job so have been checking my phone and emails a tad more often that is necessary. I did say that I could start in the beginning of May so eeek if I really do get it. But to be honest a tight deadline might just shake me up for some real action.

Next week need to speak with the solicitor as the court date approaches. The other party should have filed their position statement over a week ago and haven't. I am so cross. It seems that this time is going to be as much waste of time and money as the last. I have said to my solicitor that I am not willing to go to court if he keeps messing us up. We need to get the hearing adjourned.

Almost end of the month so the money is tight. I should not buy all the books and wool and knitting needles that I have bought. I have now really good stash so I must stop and just keep using what I have.

But the latest book that I bought was THIS. My acupuncturist recommended it to me so I am really hoping it will help. I don't think my situation was that bad (except how do you say which one is worse physical or mental abuse) I am still holding on to the past. Hopefully this book will help me to empower myself instead of still giving all the power to ex. And no more books, I promise

Oh and the DD's hot water bottle cover won't have lion pattern, it will be tiger. DOH!!

Marru

I am now half way to the book I mentioned. OMG she has had it really bad. I didn't want to read it last night as already got nightmares after the first session. However I think that the second half of the book is more positive. I am determined to get to meet the author as I feel she could help me hugely.

Four more CVs are going to swing off later today. Unfortunately one of my colleagues sits right behind me at work so can't type my cover letters here. I don't trust her so need to wait until I am at home this evening.

Please please let me get one of the jobs I have applied for. One of them surely have my name on it.

Weekend was fantastic and I feel really good as result. But this is now a 6 day working week and pressure is mounting . Evenings are earmarked to either listening my study books while knitting or decluttering. If I get a job then I am going to postpone the exams and concentrate on the decluttering, if I don't it would be the other way around. Where is that crystal ball when you need one.

Marru

Eeeek!! I was thinking on joining the frugal challenge but then this morning I spent £540 and all before breakfast :eek: I don't think peeps there would be impressed. Ok I owed February after school club money and paid also March plus March school lunches, vehicle tax and tickets to Crufts. I know the last one is not a necessity. But well, it is important.

Better get going then. Today is last day to catch up on stuff at work before it hits properly tomorrow. I am going to go in early starting tomorrow. Not really looking forward to that but it is a must. I hope BF could be here next week to keep things ticking over.

Marru

I am so fed up and tired. Terribly cold but still here I am beavering away at work. My manager sits next to me and can see me struggling but is she sending me home, no!

I am fighting with DD every morning to get out of the house. I know that if I could be more relaxed about it she wouldn't dig her heels down so much so it is a bit like catch 22.

I have had enough. I am so ill and want to go home. I think I will do one thing at work and then disappear. Stuff their reporting deadlines...

Marru

Ok so I was yesterday at work from just after eight in the morning to just before seven in the evening and didn't have full lunch break. In the evening my throat was so sore that I could've cried. It was like this strangling (sp?) feeling. So I decided not to go in today. Yep I am feeling guilty as I am not feeling too bad now but I know that if I had gone to work I would be feeling worse by the hour.

Went so see GP just to make sure it wasn't something needing antibiotics and even he said that sounds like stress related more than a bacteria. But he did increase my AD dose.

So I haven't done my reviews, I wonder if I need to do them next week when I go back. If so it means that I am yet again starting from behind for the next month end. Situation is not sustainable at all.

Phone goes off, kettle goes on, I have a good book in the Kindle and all afternoon for snoozing if I feel like it. No DW or WM is going to go on and no tidying is going to be done. My full time job today is to get better. Toodlepip!!

Marru

I have been to the family court today. During the proceedings I was the picture of Zen but now I am afraid that my black dog has eaten the Zen and is pretty much sitting on me. Full details HERE /

boultdj

[Hugs] sent for you and.............[pheeewwww]come and chase this stick in to the river black dog

Marru

Thanks

Ok I am better, trying to be positive about this all. And I have been sending CVs left, right and centre.

My best friend at work has been sacked :mad:. I am so upset as she has the only person there that makes life there better. But on the other hand she has her own decisions to make and I know that this will help her to make them. I will miss her terribly thou. I hope that I am not that far behind her leaving the company.

Must go as it is getting late. BD is still with me but I think he has now learned to walk to heel.