Breathing out, I smile – Bringing ZEN to the life of a DFW

Marru

Today while waiting spreadsheet to "calculate" (teaches me to work with mahoosive spreadsheets) I had a sneak peek of International Schools back where I came from. I found one that is literally around the corner from my old job.

Afterwards while getting on with my work I suddenly felt really happy and I had to stop to find out what was it that had given me that happy content feeling. It was the hope that looking up that information had given me. The more I think about it the more I am convinced that going back is the right move now.

So I am going to find out how much I could expect to be paid (I moved away before the coming of the Euro so have no idea about the salary levels) and then I need to find out from my solicitor what kind of process/palaver it is going to be to build a case for the court to allow me to move back.

Obviously I need to find out from BF how he feels about all this. I think he would have better job opportunities over there as English teacher than any jobs here that he has unsuccesfully applied for.

So a big decluter it is. I definitely need to get rid of stuff and get money on the account. Off to do some salary comparisons and looking for properties...

boultdj

Glad your felling happeir and more confident.

Bitsy_Beans

Exciting times Marru

Marru

Ok it is back to the drawing board for me. After great weekend I am now much more positive about everything. Lots of thinking (and finding peace with everything) is needed. And now I think I have the tools to do all that.

During the weekend we made a connection to an animal that has moved on. I chose to do this with my collie that I lost in 2006. So we got present and then connected to the animal and sent a message "I love you". The emotion that I got back was like a tsunami of love. It was so huge and poverful that tears started coming from my eyes. It was like she had been saving it for me to connect and then it just flooded to me. Pretty amazing and very unexpected.

So now I know that in addition to my guides and angels I have my animal spirits with me which is such a relief as I am not feeling so lonely with my journey and seeking the answers and right things for me to do.

What I think really would help is for both me and BF to make a dream board and then start working together how that can be achieved as I dont' know they are that different.

All in all I haven't gone anywhere just yet and am not going to do it for the wrong reasons.

Marru

I and BF had a really good chat last night. I was pushing him to answer guestions like: "what would you like from life", "what would you do if there are no limitations" and then pushed it further and asked "what do those things represent for you". As sometimes it is not the thing itself that we want, it is what that thing represents and there might be several ways of achieving the essence of the want and that then will open the opportunities for us.

So after talking things through and both bringing to the table what is it that we want (as I already knew it) we are not in a disagreement when it comes to our values and wants. We both want our own place with enough space, I want to stay warm without worrying about how much it is going to cost and BF wants to travel and meet people.

The result of the conversation now is that I am going ahead getting permit to leave the country with DD. We are going to go hopefully after the end of the Summer 2012 term. In the meanwhile I have my tasks to do (exams, decluttering, budgeting) and BF has his (doing couple of training courses and setting up his website).

I feel so much more positive and also first time for a very long time I am not pushing BF away, we are actually talking and planning together.

So before going to get tea for DD I will finish with a quote from a book that I got today: "Zen and the Art of Knitting".

"Knitting is like life; we have to enjoy the the journey if we expect the destination to mean much."

Marru

I found a job in my home country. It is not very likely that I will get it as I don't have experience in any of the softwares that they listed. It would be lovely job thou. So I think I am going to apply and see what happens.

Also I have been looking part ownership houses, something that I could afford even without BF's help. And then if BF comes with me we can at later date look into bigger mortgage and 100% owned place.

Problem here is that if I go ahead with the job and house then it is not guaranteed that I will get a permit to take DD with me. Also I understand that there is a waiting list to the school where I want DD to go so what am I going to do with her in the meanwhile?

So despite all said I am going to send that application, I am going to put DD on the waiting list for school and also I am going to put myself on the several waiting lists for the part ownership homes.

3Dogs

Sending lots of positive vibes in your direction Marru - I do hope you can find what you are searching for :A

Bitsy_Beans

Marru I am glad you and BF are planning together You have nothing to lose by applying so go for it sending you positive vibes xxxx

budget_babe

3Dogs wrote: »

Sending lots of positive vibes in your direction Marru - I do hope you can find what you are searching for :A

Yes from me too Marru.

Life is like a game of poker
If you haven't seen the river yet then the game is not over.;)

Hugs to you and DD (())
Budgie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Marru

Job application has been sent. I think I am applying for jobs too soon but this one just happened to be perfect job for me. I must say that it was a bit of a struggle to get it translated but I am very pleased with the result. I just don't know how many dots I have missing from the tops of a's and o's :rotfl:.

Also DRUMROLL!!! I have managed to study today and it wasn't that bad. (It never is ). So hopefully now that I have got a good start I stand a chance of passing my exams in December.

Next four weeks are going to be quiet at work so I am going to spend it sneakily doing my PER objectives. As if I change jobs I need to get them signed before I go.

So yes, feeling much more positive about things.