Splitting the family at Xmas?

1more?

when my dd1 was little we used to spend all day out visiting my family & dh family to keep them happy !
then one year i decided we had the children & means christmas should be about children (and jesus:p) then we would stay at home and any family who wanted to visit could
Mil moaned the most as usual but didnt come to see the children which was a result in my book !

we now have dinner at home or we did have it at my aunties last yr as i had a 6 month old & i was thinking it would be easier to have dinner cooked for me

but christmas is now about my children & the family who can be bothered to come to see them if they dont well their loss i dont worry or concern myself with what others are doing (except for my sis who stays here xmas eve coz its tradition ) xx

katieclampet

anguk wrote: »

Before we had kids we would go to my family on Christmas day and OH's family on Boxing day, once we had kids we refused to go anywhere on Christmas day. Like Pigpen I think it's unfair on kids (especially young ones), they open their presents then have to get dressed in best clothes and leave their new toys to go visiting family.

We would have Christmas at home, nice and relaxed with the kids playing with their toys, the in-laws would come for tea and on Boxing day we'd go to my parents for lunch. I haven't been out of the house on Christmas day for almost 25 years, in fact for the last few years I've even spent the day in pyjamas! :eek:

christmas day in PJs!! Sounds fab:T

katie

tigzem

I'm dreading Christmas this year. Last couple of years OH and I have been at home, with my Mum coming over in the evening and my Dad going to his Mum's. His Mum passed away so last year was his first without her so we had him round here for dinner, but he didn't stay long. This year we said we'd go to OH's family as he's not spent it with them for a few years, but my Dad will be on his own. My brother lives in France and hasn't made any noises about coming over even though I told him back in February of our plans. So I feel bad that my Dad could be on his own even though he's not that keen on Christmas!! Madness!!

I'd probably try and do what is best for you and DD, I hope that your OH's family would invite your Mum too.

Teenie_D

You should do what your daughter wants to do this year like someone else said it's more important that children enjoy themselves and she is getting older and soon the magic will disappear for her.

I am surprised that your OH hasn't already mentioned that your Mum be invited to his Mums, or his mum herself invite your Mum, I actually find this very strange. I know my parents and my DH's parents would never have any member of our family sitting on Xmas day on their own and would totally understand that we had to spend Xmas day with them if they felt uncomfortable coming along.

We usually go to my Mums but we went to DH's parents last year his Mum doesn't really mind as long as we see them at some point during the day. DH's sister and 2 children have spent every single Christmas at her Mums so I didn't feel that bad that we never went.

This year, weather permitting, we are having my family (and in laws if they want, but I doubt it) here so DD doesn't have to go out the house like a few others have said, we were never taken out of our home on Xmas day it's unfair to the children.

SingleSue

In my married days, we would go to my parents on Christmas day and to his parents on boxing day until about 6 ish when we would go to my parents for the party.

It was made easier though as his parents would go to family near London on Christmas day, before he met me, hubby usually spent Christmas day on his own!

After father in law died, we still went to my parents on Christmas day but his mum would also come down there for see the presents being opened and to have dinner, she would then leave to visit friends in the evening and then on Boxing day, she would come to ours for dinner with us then going to my parents as usual in the evening.

Now, I go to my parents on both days, ex mother in law did still come for dinner for a while at my parents after the divorce but has now got a very active social life and gets so many offers of Christmas dinner she has to do them on a rota basis! She still goes to my parents in the morning for the present opening though unless she has travelled to my ex husband's 400 miles away.

On boxing day, we (me and the boys) usually have a quiet day at home, sometimes I cook an ordinary meal or we go out (not for anything fancy) and then arrive down at my parents at about tea time. Ex mother in law is usually still trying to get through the offers of dinner....

scottishchick27

I'm very lucky, my mum and MIL are best friends so we've all spent the day together for the last 13 years except for DDs first Christmas when it was just the three of us and it was miserable. I love lots of people at that time of year. The last few years we've hosted in our house as a thank you to my parents and MIL for looking after DD after school while I'm at work. To be honest I love it though. DD doesn't really get to play with all her toys during the day as we've to clear them away to make room for tables and chairs but it makes boxing day special too as that's pyjama day where we eat sweets and leftovers and watch tv and play games all day. bliss. I'm getting excited just thinking about it

jtr2803

Thanks for sharing your experiences and suggestions, I thought I would update as it looks like we have come to a solution!! .

I can't take the credit for it though as it all happened purely by chance. I asked my daughter on Tuesday what she wanted to do for Christmas day/dinner this year and it turns out that rather than spend the morning with us as she has done since she was born, she wants to stay over at her Dads Christmas eve and spend the morning with him and his wife before coming back to us about 2pm for dinner and the rest of the day. I will miss her terribly in the morning but I decided a few years ago she was old enough to make her own decisions.

Anyway, that actually makes things much more simpler, I need to finalise with the other half but my current plan is for me and him to spend the morning together at home and exchange gifts/have breakfast and then around noon, I will go to my mums and he will go to his mums so we can each have dinner with our families. Not too sure what will happen in the evening yet, either I will go to his or I will stay the night at my mums as I haven't spent the evening with her for a few years now.

feel like I can relax at last :rotfl:

SandC

:DWhy does this thread make me feel like, actually, I was lucky as a kid?

Grandparents all died before we were born, we moved for dad's work 400 miles from the rest of respective families, therefore no stress, we always knew it would be the four of us, no traipsing off anywhere. Sorted.

Torry_Quine

jtr2803 wrote: »

Thanks for sharing your experiences and suggestions, I thought I would update as it looks like we have come to a solution!! .

I can't take the credit for it though as it all happened purely by chance. I asked my daughter on Tuesday what she wanted to do for Christmas day/dinner this year and it turns out that rather than spend the morning with us as she has done since she was born, she wants to stay over at her Dads Christmas eve and spend the morning with him and his wife before coming back to us about 2pm for dinner and the rest of the day. I will miss her terribly in the morning but I decided a few years ago she was old enough to make her own decisions.

Anyway, that actually makes things much more simpler, I need to finalise with the other half but my current plan is for me and him to spend the morning together at home and exchange gifts/have breakfast and then around noon, I will go to my mums and he will go to his mums so we can each have dinner with our families. Not too sure what will happen in the evening yet, either I will go to his or I will stay the night at my mums as I haven't spent the evening with her for a few years now.

feel like I can relax at last :rotfl:

I'm glad you seem to have come to a solution.

carolineb23

SandC wrote: »

:DWhy does this thread make me feel like, actually, I was lucky as a kid?

Grandparents all died before we were born, we moved for dad's work 400 miles from the rest of respective families, therefore no stress, we always knew it would be the four of us, no traipsing off anywhere. Sorted.

Same here, never any issues as we were always at home! Since I met my husband and we moved in together it's a little more tricky as he much prefers staying at home for xmas rather than having to traipse round all the relatives, but we've alternated xmas lunch between ours and my parent's houses the last few years, seeing his family in the morning and then again for another xmas lunch on boxing day. This year will be our first with a baby, so although we'll go to my parent's as it's their year, I suspect from then on we will stay at home. Glad you've got it sorted OP.