What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

sammyhammy

This has to be the best piece of advice - it limits complications, ensures that your wishes are carried out and it helps those left behind to know what your wishes are.

Solicitors do charge more than WH Smith/Tesco do for a will pack but can advise on a how package of measures in addition to making the will. Here I should admit my own interest as I work in this area.

When advising on a will you will also be told how to save tax and will be asked to consider a range of scenarios - what if both partners die - is there a guardian for children - etc. Making a will gets your estate in order on your death, but as mentioned above you should also consider an Enduring Power of Attorney (EPA). This enables you to be assisted from now (or a point that you determine in the EPA) until your death.

EPAs will end in October 2007 when the Mental Capacity Act comes into effect. LPAs are more complicated than EPAs and are likely to registerable with the Court of Protection before use (making them more expensive). I encourage everyone to consider making an EPA in the next few months. See the Court of Prorection site http://www.guardianship.gov.uk for more information.

A solicitor will therefore advise on your lifetime affairs in additon to your will and can help with other issues such as nursing home fees. Certain wills can help protect at least half of a couple's home if one dies and the other needs nursing care. Solicitors can also advise on whether those in nursing homes should be paying at all.

In probates solicitors can advise without acting and half an hour can help highlight potential problems - especially on intestacy (no will). Also you can be advised about whether to place stautory advertisements (they protect the executor if later claims are made on the estate). As mentioned earlier Deeds of Variation can be used whether or not there is awill and can be used to save tax [the tax free amount is £300,000 from April and a couple can each give this tax free, potentially saving beneficiaries £120,000].


My biggest piece of advice is DO NOT JUST LEAVE IT. I have seen too many problems where a family member dies and nothing is done. Getting a Grant of Letters of Administration to deal with a property when someone died in the 1970s is not simple.

Secondly, do be careful when going through papers - many people have thrown out old life policy documents because they seems so old (often taken out at birth/in childhood by a parent) or because they appear worthless (penny policies). If something looks like it's from an insurance company keep it. Most have been taken over (eg Refuge is now Royal London, etc) and they can still be worth a few hundred pounds once matured and earning bonuses.

Any deeds should be safeguarded if the property is unregistered at the Land Registry - this might be all you have to prove ownership.

Last point - if the decease was in nursing care it might be that the NHS should have been paying for their care. This claim can be made by the estate if you feel that their needs were for nursing care (possibly going off topic here).

Sorry, this has been a long post, but in summary:

1. Make a Will
2. Consider an EPA
3. Solicitors can help, but it is perfectly possible for you to deal with a straightforward estate yourself.

Sorry if I've been a bit vague - I also need to be careful that I'm not seen to recommend any particular service, practice or organisation - that's for the Referrals Board.

sammyhammy

scoobiedoo101 wrote:

As previously mentioned, any joint account/asset will be frozen as soon as one of the holders/signatories dies. The best thing to do is to get a solicitor to draw up an Enduring Power of Attorney, which allows someone else to act for you in the event not only of death, but also if you become incapacitated or unavailable in any way (eg breaking both wrists, going into hospital, getting dementia, going abroad). Costs about £80.00 at the moment but in April the government is making it much more difficult to set up an EPA! We've just drawn up wills with lots of inheritance tax planning and EPAs and we feel much better for it!

The government announced on 18th Dec that the Mental Capacity Act provisions replacing EPAs will come in to force in October as they need more time to train the civil servants in relation to the changes. Also, they have to decide on the new LPA form.

The Lasting Power of Attorney will be in two forms - finance and welfare. The finance LPA will be similar to the exisitng EPA but the welfare EPA will allow you to appoint someone to make mediacl and welfare decsions for you. It can also incorporate a Living Will (as referred to in an earlier post).

Make an EPA now for your finances, but consider a welfare EPA come October.

thebrow2000

Morglin wrote:

I would also advise anyone that doesn't intend to formalise their relationship (marriage) to make private provision in case of death.

The DWP do not recognise "common law" and no widow/ers benefits will be payable, no matter how long you have been together.

If there are children, then the surviving partner may be able to claim Income Support, but there is no automatic right to either the £2000 bereavment payment, or to a widow/ers allowance.

It was thought this may have changed when gay partnerships were recognised, but it hasn't, and many people think that it doesn't make any difference if you are not married..

It does.

Lin

My family has encoured this same problem over christmas.

The surviving partner has been refused the 2000k payment

Is there any financial support that the surving partner (they lived together for over 20 years) can claim?

zztopgirl

I would also like to say to anyone reading this that thinks it might not happen to them, it can and does happen. To anybody. I never expected to be told my dh would die at the age of 27. He survived but only just and might still die at any time, so now we have the arrangements in place. If only i had a crystal ball.

Also, to second what others have said, if you know someone who has lost a loved one, even if you cant think of a word to say, just be there for them. We have loads of family and friends who wont come near us now and it really hurts.

scottie60

Here is a link to a government site which might provide useful information.
http://www.direct.gov.uk/RightsAndResponsibilities/Death/fs/en

Madmel

Firstly, I would like to send my condolences to evryone who has suffered a loss. You are all in my thoughts. Impecunious, I can point you in the direction of a couple of websites/forums where you can get the help and advice you need if you PM me.

My Mum died very suddenly 9 years ago. She had made a will and we knew what she wanted for her funeral. She and my Dad had handled their own parents' wills and also a couple of aunts/uncles so my Dad was very clued up. Although her affairs were quite complex, between Dad, me and my sister, we sorted the whole lot out ourselves without having to pay for a solicitor.

One wonderful organisation was NS&I. By a strange coincidence, my Mum died about 4 hours before a premium bond of hers won a prize, sadly not the £1M. When it came through, Dad rang up to explain and the lady was absolutely wonderful. She asked us to send it back, and asked us to whom the alternatice cheque should be made payable. Dad said that my sister & I should share it, and within 48 hours a cheque came through addressed to us, whcih then bypassed her estate :rotfl:

Things I've learned:
Get several copies of the death certificate. I have posted this elsewhere but we numbered ours lightly on the back in pencil and kept a chart of which certificate was where. As soon as one came back, it went to the next organisation on the chart. Any of the 3 of us could do it, and it gave us something to focus on.

Set up an Enduring Power of Attorney. Dad had loads of hassle with an elderly aunt. She was fiercely independent (we adored her!) but started to get dementia. She was found wandering several times, then the final straw was she fell in the street and banged her head badly. The hospital wouldn't let her live on her own again and as her Executor, Dad was the one who had all the hassle of going to the Court of Protection as there was no EPA. It was a completel nightmare and he used to spend most of a day per week sorting out their forms and keeping his records up to date.

Make a Will. My Dad came to visit us last weekend with his latest will. Whilst some people might think it's morbid, actually I'm really glad I know what he wants. There is info on his funeral arrangements, and a rather bizarre but wholly typical and funny request in here.

I hope this helps someone, and think it would be great to have it as a sticky that people can reference in a hurry.

Ms_Chocaholic

scoobiedoo101 wrote:

As previously mentioned, any joint account/asset will be frozen as soon as one of the holders/signatories dies.

I am dealing with the paperwork of my late father's estate ... he had a joint bank account with my mum (Halifax) and that wasn't frozen, so unsure whether some people have different experiences with different banks.

With regard to savings etc held in the sole name of the deceased, if the account has a balance of less than £15,000, the financial organisation will often release the money without seeking probate (this is true of Halifax and National Savinsg - Premium Bonds). So if you could limit the amount to £15,000 in each account it may help relatives who deal with estate.

piair

Sorry to hear of the sad news.
When I lost my wife I acquired a Social Security book, What to do after a death, Ref, D49 from October 1990, I found it useful.
Because we had a joint account and the house was in joint names my wife's estate turned out to be quite small and came within the Administation of Small Estates Act. This meant no probate and fairly plain sailing, I think I'm right in saying that this covers up to £15000.
There is also a grant and one year pension available for those under 50.
Regarding unwanted comunications, register with the Mailing Preference and Telephone Preference services, easily done on the net. I did this and had a few problems so kept a list of firms informed. If a firm on this list tried again, then I told them, normally by letter, that any further communications like this would be regarded as harassment and that I would seek advice. This seemsto be very effective. Be aware that there is a lead time of about 8 weeks for this all to come into effect because that's how long mailshots etc take to produce.
Finally, only you can know when you feel that it is right to meet someone else. For me the lonliness kicked in very early and I started seing someone. It was something that we had both agreed on so I never felt guilty although there were some raised eyebrows. I became a little aggressive over this because when challenged no one will give you a suitable timespan and if they don't feel comfortable with it then just remember that they are not in your shoes and will, in all probabilty, not be going home to an empty house. When I did that on Christmas Eve, I was not a happy bunny. Besides which, the mind plays funny tricks with time and 5minutes can easily seem like an hour or longer. So go with your feelings, only you can live your life.
Piair

sammyhammy

Ms_Chocaholic wrote:

I am dealing with the paperwork of my late father's estate ... he had a joint bank account with my mum (Halifax) and that wasn't frozen, so unsure whether some people have different experiences with different banks.

Joint accounts are not frozen - production of a death certificate is usually sufficient to remove the name of the deceased. Sole name accounts are frozen.

This is fine for couples where money is intended to go to the other. If children or other relatives are named as a joint holder and the money belonged to the deceased it still forms part of the estate. Access may be easier, but you have to trust the person to pay the money to the appropriate beneficiaries.

Sarahsaver

My Dad died when I was 15.
He had no will, about £50 in a post office account, and that was it. I think mum was 'too young' for a widow's pension somehow.
No insurance, nothing to cover the mortgage, nothing to pay for a funeral.
He probably couldn't have afforded to save much so Im not blaming him, but it goes to show what chaos can ensue, and hardship. I remember dreading the visit with mum to the tax office in the same way I dreaded the visit to the funeral parlour.
I therefore recommend planning your funeral, and paying for it especially if you have kids.
Get some kind of insurance even if it leaves the surviving other half/family with equivalent of a year's salary. Again especially if you have kids.
Save if you can possibly.
One thing he did which was good is have some premium bonds, one came up a few months after - a few hundred quid. Mum screamed so loud we thought there was a serious problem!
Soon after the birth of my kids I got an insurance policy to pay a salary to my oldest child if I die - currently approx 20k a year. I made a will, and DD has a savings a/c the boys both have insurance to pay out when they reach 18.
I have done this because of my experience as a child. I think all expectant parents should use the waiting for baby time to get all this stuff sorted.