What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

robledouk

mskitten2904 wrote:

hi, I may be wrong but I think it is only people with low income that can recieve help with funeral costs but that does not necessarly mean you have to be claiming benefits?

I thought that at first but was wrong.

The spouse is entitled to the funeral costs no matter what your financial situation is, whether you're a millionaire or on the dole, it does not matter. I was told by the jobcentre as well as the citizens advice bureau that as long as your partner paid national insurance contributions for 1 year continuously, you are entitled to it.

Even if you were not sure, just apply for it, what harm is there.If you don't get it, you don't get it, simple as.

AnW'sMum

My husband died in an accident last June, my life since that time has been counted in weeks. We have 2 children aged 3 and 6 and trying to explain where Daddy has gone is very hard, especially for the 3 year old.

People don't know what to say in these situations, but whilst that may be the case I found it better that people said 'I don't know what to say to you' rather than say nothing or worse still avoid speaking/seeing me. Nothing and no one can bring your loved one back but just knowing that people are there to support me helps.

Fortunately for me I was the one who organised the finances, now I need to make sure that should anything happen to me then my family will know who to contact we money issues.

robledouk

elona wrote:

When my fathet died in August his bank, helpfully said that they could deal with Probate for me as they had a special department and I "did not want to pay for solicitor's letters!"

I found out that they would have charged me at least £1200 for a simple situation.

I did this myself for about £120 and it really was not difficult.

exactly what I did as well. I think the solicitors wanted 5% had they done the probate so I just went and did it myself (on behalf of my mum) which was fairly straightforward and saved a fortune. (Luckily 99% of the policies/accounts etc he had were in joint names which made things all the more easier)

montycat_2

robledouk wrote:

I thought that at first but was wrong.

The spouse is entitled to the funeral costs no matter what your financial situation is, whether you're a millionaire or on the dole, it does not matter. I was told by the jobcentre as well as the citizens advice bureau that as long as your partner paid national insurance contributions for 1 year continuously, you are entitled to it.

Even if you were not sure, just apply for it, what harm is there.If you don't get it, you don't get it, simple as.

Hi ,

I applied and "provisionally" got the costs paid until I waited for the finances to sort out .I had to pay it back once the Insurances came through .What I did get regardless of Income is the Widowed Parent's Allowance and the £2000 Bereavement payment . .The funeral Allowance is still means tested .

The Funeral Directors didn't hassle me to pay as ,they understood that things take time .

If the Deceased has life Insurance then ,my Undertakers were satisfied that they would be paid out of that .I paid the Dhss back out of the Life Insurance as ,that is what my DH had the policy for .

nic82

robledouk wrote:

I thought that at first but was wrong.

The spouse is entitled to the funeral costs no matter what your financial situation is, whether you're a millionaire or on the dole, it does not matter. I was told by the jobcentre as well as the citizens advice bureau that as long as your partner paid national insurance contributions for 1 year continuously, you are entitled to it.

Even if you were not sure, just apply for it, what harm is there.If you don't get it, you don't get it, simple as.

My sister was just 21 when her fiance died (aged 24) just over a year ago. They had only been living together for 5 months, although had been together for 5 years.

The funeral directors told her that she could apply for this but she wasn't granted it, as she wasn't seen as his next of kin. Apparently she had to either be married to him to get it, even though his half of the house and all the rest of his possesions were left to her in his Will.

So, then we thought perhaps his mum could apply for it as she was legally seen as his next of kin. But then we were told that she couldn't as he wasn't living with her at the time of his death.

I just wanted to post this as a warning that you won't always be given it. As a result my sister had to pay the whole £2000 fees out of her own pocket.

I'm not blaming the funeral directors in anyway, but to be told she could have this and then due to some silly government rules, it being snatched away was a horrible thing. It wasn't about the money, as we didn't even know about it until the funeral directors. It was more about feeling like she'd been kicked when she was already down. She was only 21 at the time and was supposed to be planning her wedding, not a funeral.

Sorry, this was meant to be a "word of caution" post, not a drowning in my sorrows post!

HTH someone anyway.

paulinportdover

Hi Guys ! We all worry about paying death duties ( Is it 40% over 263000?)
Well if your estate is over this amount then consider becoming a Canadian citizen ( You can still live in the UK ). Canada has no death duties so we can give the tax man in the UK a last smack in the face as we depart this world .
Could save many thousands with those with assets over the 263k

grandmab

Someone mentioned that car insurance is not valid if you drive on your deceased spouse's insurance. When my husband died last year my son rang our insurance company to inform them and they extended the period for a month to allow me time to sort things out. So it is always worth informing your company because i found everyone we contacted very helpful.

Daisies

My Dad died 20 months ago and we found various things helped a lot:

- get LOTS of copies of death certificates. Informing banks, utility companies etc took forever.
- make a will, and keep it up to date. Fortunately Dad updated his when he retired, ironically only 7 months before his death, he had no idea he was ill then. The will stated that he wanted to be cremated, but we had to base his funeral on one very vague conversation he'd had with my Mum several years before. He quickly became too ill to have a meaningful conversation so don't leave things like that too late. Ask your executors in advance if they would like to be executor (unlike an elderly friend of my Mum's, who just put her down without asking. Bit of a shock after her death!)
- have a joint account. Mum and Dad only had one as a landlord account but it proved very very useful. Mum would have been totally stuck otherwise. The solictor did ask if she was OK for money when we saw him around the time of the funeral, and some could have been released in advance to help, but luckily this was not needed. Getting probate and finalising things takes FOREVER (it's probably true what other people have said about leaving it to solicitors). It took 6 months to get probate granted, and 20 months down the line, it's still not been finalised.
- if the deceased filed a tax return it will still need doing. Dad died 50 minutes into one tax year, but it still needed to be completed for that year (the Inland Revenue are helpful, you just need to be aware that it needs doing. Our solicitor was VERY unhelpful about this!). And there are penalties for late returns (think these still apply in the circumstances).
- the pack you get when you register the death has lots of helpful stuff about getting names removed from mailing lists etc.
- keep financial stuff in a safe place (ONE safe place!) and make sure your next of kin knows where it is. Dad didn't use the internet so we didn't have to worry about that, but anyone sorting out my stuff is going to have a nightmare time at the moment!
- There are all sorts of things available to help the widow/er. Mum got a bereavement payment for a year after the death. And because Dad died very soon after starting to draw his pension (not state pension, but occupational one) Mum was eligible for a lump sum from it.
- If you shop at the Coop and have a dividend card there can be a funeral payment as part of that. We used the Coop funeral directors, who took care of Dad's dividend account, closed it down and took the final amount off the funeral cost (there was also a benefit payment as he'd been a member for years).
- If it's not a sudden death & you have some preparation time you might want to think about where to send money at the funeral (we had family flowers only, as it seemed such a waste otherwise). Ours went for Brain Tumour Research, which was comforting as it might help others avoid going through the same thing. We found that it helped to include this in the death notice in the local paper as many people wanted to know in advance of the funeral.

Finally, keep talking to friends and spending time with them! Immediately after a death everyone flocks around (but often not knowing what to say), but they quickly seem to forget. Grieving takes a long time and having friends around who can accept that and provide a shoulder to cry on is essential.

Dragonmist

My husband died just before Xmas 2005. We had been living on Incapacity Benefit with Mobility Allowance as he had chronic heart disease and Leukaemia. We weren't rich but we did get by. I was unable to work for 17 years due to his illness, and we were turned down for Care Allowance, even though I had to lift him in and out of the bath.
The fact of his death was bad enough, but worse was to come. My Income ended up at less than half we had before, with all the same bills to pay. I couldn't keep the car, and we only get 2 buses a day Mon - Saturday. I was 60 at the time and was told I had to claim a pension on his contributions. I found, to my disgust, that I would only get 90% of the pension he paid for and didn't live long enough to claim, and only 50% of the extra pension he could have claimed due to Graduated Contributions. It took 11 weeks to sort this out so I only had the firms pension during this time which just covered the Council Tax and rent. The firm's pension, when he started paying in, stated I would get his full pension for 1 year then half. Somewhere along the line this was reduced to 3 months. I don't remember ever being informed of this. They deduct Income Tax from the firm's pension because I'm so rich !!!
If your husband was in a Union, you might be able to claim a death benefit from them too. This is not means tested. I think I got £165.

John_in_pinner

This has happened to me so consider the following-
1. A common law partner is still treated differently in law to a legal spouse. There is no immediate right of succession on death and the rules of Intestacy apply.
2. Bank accounts are automatically “frozen” on death.
3. Could you get the documents necessary to arrange (On the basis there is a Will) Probate and claims?
4. Has each Partner/spouse set up a Power of Attorney so that the other can live normally in the event of incapacity? You have to do this while each party is able to sign. Go to https://www.guardianship.gov.uk to download the free form. Or call the Government guardianship office.
5. Set up a record of everyones personal records – this can only be done by that individual while in full command of their faculties and once done should be kept up to date.
This should include;
Records of Pension arrangements, in course of payment or expected.
Details of where the Will is kept, perhaps with a copy. Are there special arrangements recorded – beneficiaries, funeral requests?
All birth, marriage and divorce certificates and papers.
Investment records – Bank accounts, ISA’s Bonds, National Savings accounts. All these have to be valued on death.
Mortgage details – current lender, account number and redemption penalties. When is it due to be repaid and how? Where are the Deeds?
All Insurance Policies – Life and household. When are they renewed and when were they reviewed?
Credit Cards – details and when are they due to be paid?
Other Loans and debts – personal and bank debts.
Utility Bills – how are they paid and will they continue to be paid?
Personal records – details of all friends and relations to contact.

All Insurance Policies must be reviewed to see that they are set up correctly, so that any claimant can access funds quickly and easily and also minimize any Inheritance tax liability. This can be done by setting Policies up under Trust or assigning them - Trust law changed in April 2006 and all Trust wordings should be reviewed.

Hope this helps - I did mine on the basis that my wife knows nothing about our financial affairs so that she could then get ALL the details from the record I made.