What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

Sarahsaver

My Dad died when I was 15.
He had no will, about £50 in a post office account, and that was it. I think mum was 'too young' for a widow's pension somehow.
No insurance, nothing to cover the mortgage, nothing to pay for a funeral.
He probably couldn't have afforded to save much so Im not blaming him, but it goes to show what chaos can ensue, and hardship. I remember dreading the visit with mum to the tax office in the same way I dreaded the visit to the funeral parlour.
I therefore recommend planning your funeral, and paying for it especially if you have kids.
Get some kind of insurance even if it leaves the surviving other half/family with equivalent of a year's salary. Again especially if you have kids.
Save if you can possibly.
One thing he did which was good is have some premium bonds, one came up a few months after - a few hundred quid. Mum screamed so loud we thought there was a serious problem!
Soon after the birth of my kids I got an insurance policy to pay a salary to my oldest child if I die - currently approx 20k a year. I made a will, and DD has a savings a/c the boys both have insurance to pay out when they reach 18.
I have done this because of my experience as a child. I think all expectant parents should use the waiting for baby time to get all this stuff sorted.

sammyhammy

FLC wrote:

On a previous post someone mentioned headstones - there's no need to rush. We took a few years to decide when one of my parents died and had something personal designed

Most cemeteries advise/require a six month period before headstones can be placed on the grave - a simple cross marker will be used in the interim.

FLC wrote:

Also someone mentioned problems with houses. I believe when you jointly buy a place you can be tenants in common or joint tenants. I can't remember which is which but one means the place automatically goes to the other person on event of death and the other means that you each own a certain percentage. Worth making sure you have the one you want...

Joint tenants automatically passes to the surviving co-owner. However, if a couple is unmarried, or another family member is a co-owner, inheritance tax can still be payable as the half share is still included for inheritance tax calculations.

Also you'd be surprised how many houses are still owned by the husband alone, or are in one person's name as it was a marital home from an earlier relationship.

For tax purposes you might be advised to hold as tenants in common, precisely so that the property does not pass by survivorship.

These are all things that a solicitor should discuss with you when you make a will. I hope that the conveyancer acting in your purchase referred to a specialist solicitor within the firm rather than drafting it personally?

realaledrinker

I would recommend buying a good book on the subject.

I have a copy of After a Death by Shelagh Clayton (ISNB 0860519562) which cost £10.99 a few years ago & is still on Amazon at that price. I have loaned it to a number of relatives & friends over the last few years all of who have found it really useful.

I can recommend the following on line will writing service, which also contains a mine of info on wills, including Inheritance tax & discretionary trusts, which can be used to 'shelter' the first partner to die's inheritance tax allowance

https://www.tenminutewill.co.uk

FLC_3

sammyhammy wrote:

These are all things that a solicitor should discuss with you when you make a will. I hope that the conveyancer acting in your purchase referred to a specialist solicitor within the firm rather than drafting it personally?

Yes, they did - probably should have said that.

Cliff_Derek

Something to think about before one of you dies. It is quite common for credit cards to be in one partners name, the husband usually, with the other partner operating on extra cards for the account. When the account holding partner dies the account is closed immediately, the balance being the responsibility of the executor. This may mean the surviving partner is immediately placed without a credit card at all. So take action now to either have a joint credit account which can continue, or make sure you have at least one account in your own name.

The same thing usually does not happen with a bank account. Unless you have imposed special conditions, when one partner dies the account simply continues in the other's name.

somersetgal_2

I had this sad duty when my father died. Remember that the thought processes are affected by grief. Patience is required.

Make a ‘to do list’. It helps to realise that each task completed is one more tick in the box!

The Coroner is very helpful, as is the Probate Office. Help the Aged & Age Concern websites also give very useful advice.

If there are any credit cards in the deceased’s name approach the Lender – they may waive the balance (this happened to my sister-in law).

If Inheritance tax is likely consider a Deed of Variation on the Deceased’s will. It must be made within 2 years of death, but can save the Estate a lot of money in tax.

The deceased may be entitled to a tax rebate, so even if no tax return is completed a repayment claim completed from 6 April to the date of death may be appropriate. Why let the Government keep any more of our money!

roxeth

Someone wrote <<type up the document and save it on your computer using a password so that the information isn't easily accessible.>>

This may deter a casual browser but be aware that MS Word (and others) can be cracked very easily within minutes so what may seem to be safe isn't really safe and secure!

Fran

I can't see these links, sorry if they are a repeat:

Cruse Bereavement Care

Citizens Advice - Adviceguide.

andyc1909

Hi All,
My partner died Feb 2005 whilst on a home visit from the hospital, suicide. I was careless and paid a high price. Single Dad now.
We weren't married - get your relationship recognised in law, do it now!
No will - already covered enough - just get 1 now!
Death certs - I got 6, each org. sent them back asap so was more than req.
Bank - Get yourself online banking, my partner gave me login details so was no trouble to access. Didn't tell the bank she'd died so mortgage (in her name) payments maintained. She was the earner and fortunately had some savings otherwise we'd have been in stum on benefits. Why should I've rushed to tell them and given myself the headache of frozen assets?
Life insurance (req. when you take out a rep. mort) - £100k, no substitute for partner but sure has made things easier financially.
Legal Guardianship of child - not automatic for fathers pre Sept(?) 2002! If conflict with inlaws and they get it 1st you are screwed big time.
Benefits - enuff said already bar the fact if receiving I/S most court charges are foc (that's music to ears on this site eh if only it wasn't so tragic circ.)
SOBS - Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide was helpful for others, I personally didn't need any help though tried it to see if I did. My gal appears more than happy compared to some kids who still have their Mum. She took to a book about 2 boys who'd lost their Mum, supplied by health visitor. She was good, I must thank her for her efforts.
I have an issue over partners sis and mum who want little one to inherit at 18but I can't think of anything worse than giving a teenager a stack of cash, especially when it would involve selling the house. Am I being unfair to think the majority of it should stay safe until I die/get old or establish she's not into drugs or whatever like in 'normal' situations (we were married in nature if not in law), comments welcome.

bebe

my brother in law died in april 2006, and because my husband had a stroke some years ago i dealt with all the arrangements ( there are no other living relatives ) although i guided him through every procedure, i could tell some information just wasn't sinking in.I also dealt with probate, most people think they have to employ a solicitor you don't, apply for the form by telephone it comes with questions and answers, and they will guide you through it by phone.Although there was no will, it all took roughly 6 weeks to complete.We completed all arrangments within one day, registrar, funeral director, bank. We gave the bank the original death cert. which the registrar had just given us and they photo copied it checked their records for bank balances and gave us a cheque for the funeral director there and then, but that is all they are lawfully obiliged to pay without cert. of administration from probate. I am lucky ( if you can call it that ) as a child (approx 10 yrs.) i was taught this matter of fact way. But i understand what has been said and have written a diary, with everthing i can think of i case my poor old man has to deal with it .