What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

Quiet_Life

Messages 9, 11 & 18 of this thread have links to advice and a checklist

maxgwen

Can anyone tell me what help my 72 yr old stepmother is entitled to in relation to funeral costs for my dad.
She says there is no savings and dad had no insurance. My brother (the eldest of us 3) asked if we could all chip in to help pay? I agreed straight away so did my sister even though she is soon to be a grandma. I lost my job last yr due to a work related illness and my brother has just lost his job.
My sister and me cant help thinking our stepmother is not being entirely honest and is possibly claiming or has claimed for dads funeral.
Our mum died 27yrs ago and find it hard to beleive thet dad would not have insurance or put something aside for this sort of thing.:(

sarymclary

Maxgwen,

Firstly, I'm very sorry for your loss. It's difficult enough to cope with the death of a loved one, without then having to worry about how to pay for their funeral.

Your step-mother should be entitled to make a claim for a Bereavement Payment. This is paid based on your father's National Insurance contributions (basically, if they've paid into the system for 2 years during their lifetime, it should be paid). This is a one-off payment of £2,000, and it would be wise to advise the undertakers dealing with the funeral, that this is what you will be paying the funeral with. Funeral services can be a bit prompt to invoice for their services. Now that you know this is available, none of you need to have to help with costs, and ensure that the funeral itself doesn't have unnecessary expenses, ie. several cars, fancy coffin & handles, etc. I chose the basic coffin, which didn't seem much different from the very expensive one, hearse but no other cars, but I did get caught out by paying £42 for a newspaper insert. Make sure you're getting a breakdown of the costs as you go along. My costs were still very close to £2,000, so be careful.

Here's the link to the Government website, where all the forms are available for download, or call the helpline and they'll send you a pack :
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Bereaved/DG_10018703

I filled out all of my forms, then took them, along with a copy of the Death Certificate into a local Jobcentre, where they photocopied, and signed the paperwork to say they had seen the originals, and saved me having to send off one of my Death Certificate originals. You'll need plenty of these for sorting out financial affairs. In my case, it was a completely separate office that dealt with the Bereavement Benefits, than dealt with other social benefits (Tax Credits, Income Support, etc.).

I would imagine if your father had a policy for funeral costs, it wouldn't be possible to use it for other purposes. I wonder if the payments lapsed sometime, if there was one?

I hope everything goes well for you and your family.

John_Pierpoint

Having looked at the above link, I rather fear that Father was getting a Category A pension, so his 72 year old wife will not be able to claim??

(A category A pension being one paid on the recipient's own NI contribution record).

wirehair

Can anyone tell me what certicates are needed when registering a death . I know you need a Birth Certicate . but do you need marrage , divorce etc . My MIL was married and divorced twice and I only have sketchy knowledge of the 2nd time and none of the first and as she is 90 with a shocking memory she can not give me any information so that I can obtain these . I would like to get any certicates ready now so that there are no problems in the future . I have already gone through all her paperwork etc and there is nothing there . She is in a care home.

John_Pierpoint

How organised of you.
Do you know what the will says? If there are children of those marriages, an intestacy could get a bit messy.

For my late uncle, I had to hang about all day, waiting for the doctor, who serviced the nursing home where he died, to prepare her paperwork.
I then phoned ahead to the registrar's office to book a slot the next morning (about 15 miles away).
The next day, I just turned up and joined a queue behind a family from the Indian sub-continent, who had come mob handed.
When it was my turn I went into the office with the doctor's documentation.
The death certificate needs the following information:
1. Date & Place of Death.
2. Name & Surname.
3. Sex,
4. Maiden Name.
5. Date & Place of Birth.
6. Occupation & Usual address.
7. Name & Surname of informant.
7b. Qualification (in my case "nephew")
7c, Usual address
8. Signature of informant.
9. Cause of Death.
10. Date of Registration.
11. Signature of Registrar.

The only one of these that gave me a problem was 5, Place of Birth.

So I guessed (I certainly did not want another "come back tomorrow" treatment - I had already had that tried on me by the doctor and my home is a round trip of 150 miles from the registrar.)

Well weeks later, when I found uncle's birth certificate, I had got the place of birth geographically correct to 4 miles, but I had not used the correct, now obsolete, terminology for the parish,

To future genealogists, I apologise.

Don't for get to buy several copies of the death certificate - I bought 10 and used half a dozen. Most organisations will return the certificate, when asked to do so.

sarymclary

wirehair wrote: »

Can anyone tell me what certicates are needed when registering a death . I know you need a Birth Certicate . but do you need marrage , divorce etc . My MIL was married and divorced twice and I only have sketchy knowledge of the 2nd time and none of the first and as she is 90 with a shocking memory she can not give me any information so that I can obtain these . I would like to get any certicates ready now so that there are no problems in the future . I have already gone through all her paperwork etc and there is nothing there . She is in a care home.

My sister-in-law registered my husband's death, because he had died at his parents' house, and she lived locally (I was 100 miles away, caring for our children). She wouldn't have had access to any paperwork relating to her brother, other than that issued giving the cause of death. She would have known his date and place of birth, and other relevant information though.

Here is the government's guideline for registration:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Death/WhatToDoAfterADeath/DG_10029642

I wouldn't worry about the marriage certificates, they would be more relevant if she were to die intestate. I would assume, due to her age, that a will already exists, but if not, it would be worthwhile ensuring she does have one, just to make your life easier after the event of her death. My very good friend's mother has recently gone into a care home this year, after suffering a stroke, and it has made her memory shocking, so they have had to obtain Power of Attorney, but that in itself costs money.

I agree with John_Pierpoint's suggestion of getting several copies of the Death Certificate, although as she is in a care home, I would suspect most of her affairs were put in order prior to her going there. It will just help to close her bank accounts, and deal with any other companies she might be tied to. I wrote on the reverse of each Death Certificate a return address, I got one returned 3 years after I'd sent it to a building society, so it's worthwhile doing.

wirehair

Thanks for your replies , I will just get a Birth certicate then , I thought I would have to prove all the name changes . When my Husband Died (Her only child) I had to take his change of name documents . I have got her to make a Will and POA has been applied for.

John_Pierpoint

Good point though, the two of us have obtained death certificates and probate for MEN and usually males die with the same name as on their birth certificate. As two name changes (three if she has reverted her maiden name) have occurred, I'm not sure of the procedure for the Nee (maiden name) versus the other names on the certificate?
Does she explain her name changes in her will ?
Presumably complete nonsense in her case, BUT in theory bankruptcy is just living death, and advertising for creditors/claimants might be necessary to protect the executor(s) of Ms Jones/Smith/Robinson so you would need to get the terminology right from the start.
I think I would phone the registrar's office and hope you get intelligent life to tell you the procedure (I did not get intelligence at the probate registry, I regret to say; though the ordinary clerical staff did seem to know and explain the procedures).

Jake'sGran

My daughter will be my executor when I pop off as her Dad would not have a clue where to start. I am an investor with lots of accounts, funds etc etc. I have thought that at some stage I should cash it all in but as it is a hobby I don't want to, especially as there are so many things I cannot do due to a serious heart problem.

I have told my daughter about this but she just says "don't worry about it Mum". Lately I have been concerned that there might be a time limit for sorting out a deceased relative's affairs. Does anyone know if there is? My will was done a few years ago.