What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

belfastgirl23

Buggins wrote: »

Hi,
I wonder if anyone can help me. My sister died at the weekend and her son has gone into hospital on Monday. The funeral has been arranged for a day next week with everything booked but I fear her son (only child) may not be able to make the date. Does anyone know if it is easy to postpone things to a slightly later date. I know it's going to be difficult because of people turning up on the wrong day (as you don't know everyone who is going to attend)but he will be distraught if he can't make it.
Any ideas please -it's a nightmare.
Thanks as always
Buggins

Just to say sorry for your loss. I can't really help you - I'm in N ireland and I know that they would probably make an effort to sort things out here but I think it might be different in England. I'd say talk to your undertaker in the first instance.

I hope you get it sorted out.

PS if no answers tomorrow am it might be worth reposting this as a main post on the marriage and families board to see if more people might see it

sarymclary

Buggins wrote: »

Hi,
I wonder if anyone can help me. My sister died at the weekend and her son has gone into hospital on Monday. The funeral has been arranged for a day next week with everything booked but I fear her son (only child) may not be able to make the date. Does anyone know if it is easy to postpone things to a slightly later date. I know it's going to be difficult because of people turning up on the wrong day (as you don't know everyone who is going to attend)but he will be distraught if he can't make it.
Any ideas please -it's a nightmare.
Thanks as always
Buggins

Buggins, I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

It may be worthwhile trying to discover when your nephew's doctors feel he will be well enough to attend. If it is just a matter of postponing matters for a few days, I would think the undertakers could arrange that for you. When my husband died there was a lot of animosity within the family, and in order to allow matters to calm down enough, I asked for there to be at least 2 weeks until the funeral was held. It was just over 2 weeks in the end.

However the news of the funeral was originally given out, should be the way to try to convey the fact it has been rescheduled. A notice in your local newspaper would be an effective way to do this, in the announcements section, which is probably where it was originally announced. The undertakers or you can do this, although I think the undertakers charge a set fee for it (about £40 if I recall correctly). Maybe ask the church/crematorium to put a notice up outside, where they tend to have a notice board, to announce the reschedule.

I do hope your nephew is well enough to attend, but if not, then perhaps consider arranging a memorial service to celebrate your sister's life.

Take care, thinking of you.
S xx

nickyQ

Yes,you can search and ask professionals for these question

liquidroof_2

Sorry But I haven't any kind of experience regarding this, but better you go for some lawyer.

mumOf2wonderfulkids

just over a year ago my nan passed away. My mother had found her the next day and was deeply traumatised so i offered to arrange the funeral/ finances etc etc. my best advice would be speak to CAB etc, they can advise on possible grants etc, keep a list of contact numbers/addresses of people you would like to be notified in the event of anything happening.

now, im about to go into light hearted mode so appologise in advance if i offend anyone ( although no offense is intended)
I try to save money where ever possible. as my mum was on benefits, but i was working, it ended up that my husband and i would have to foot the bill. this was the first time i ever had to arrange a funeral and was shocked at the cost so tried to do a bit of research and cut costs.
one of the ways i managed to cut costs was the coffin.... and i got it (of all places) from Ebay.(£50 & p&p mega bargain!).. it was a funeral director selling off stock, the only condition was that i had to arrange delivery, no problem i thought. Ha!
after ringing around countless couriers and numberous ''what is the package contents?..... a what?!>?!'' replies i finally found a courier. the best bit was, the seller only wrapped the coffin in bubble wrap so you could see exactly what it was.

i received the most frantic call on the morning of delivery

'' hello, mrs XXX,,
Yes,
Are you expecting a delivery today? (in a very worried voice)
Yes
Mrs XXX, do you know what it is?
(me as casually as ever) Oh yes, It's a coffin, dont worry its brand new
OOOOOHHH thank god for that, i thought someone was playing a sick joke.

(the journey to the funeral parlour with the coffin in the back of the estate car is another story haha)

Now I appreciate some people may not find this as amusing as i do, but i can honestly say that we all now have a smile on our faces whenever we think of our nanna


*edit to add, my mum was fully aware of buying the coffin off ebay and it saved us over £400. That was my best MSE moment ever hehe

newlywed

Why does no-one tell you when someone who was previously self-employed dies the surviving family have complete their tax return?

Mum had no warning, no reminders, nothing, now suddenly a note addressed to the personal representatives of the deceased, saying she has till 31 jan to fill out a tax return! Hardly fair on someone who's spouse died in the spring

It's going to take her longer than 31 jan to do this, does that mean they'll fine her (not like they can fine my dad is it :rolleyes:)

belfastgirl23

newlywed wrote: »

Why does no-one tell you when someone who was previously self-employed dies the surviving family have complete their tax return?

Mum had no warning, no reminders, nothing, now suddenly a note addressed to the personal representatives of the deceased, saying she has till 31 jan to fill out a tax return! Hardly fair on someone who's spouse died in the spring

It's going to take her longer than 31 jan to do this, does that mean they'll fine her (not like they can fine my dad is it :rolleyes:)

You should get in touch with your tax office ASAP - I do DH's taxes for hiim and have found them to be very helpful. I'm not sure though whether they have any capacity for leniency on this - someone on the tax board might know better. But they will be able to advise you.

I actually found filling in the form fairly straightforward once I gathered all the info. If you're really worried about it you could also approach an accountant to do it for you but you will still need to gather together all of his papers.

Very sorry for your loss and hope you manage to get this sorted.

John_Pierpoint

What was the date of death?
Which tax office is it?
You should have had a reminder in the summer, who paid the July payment on account?

My experience of "Mr Dog's" death is available if you search my previous posting; but briefly:
Jul 08 - Mr Dog in hospital paralysed by brain tumour, I pay his July demand.
Sep 08 - Mr Dog dies - I inform HMRC and ask for a form for April 08 - Sep 08.)
Oct 08 - HMRC move the tax file to another office.
- I promptly move it back again to his pension provider's tax office.
Nov 08 - Enquire of original tax office, how they now want to handle 07/08
Told to do it on line.
(I have since discovered that personal reps. not allowed to do it on-line.)
Xmas 08 - Send off by mail for access codes to government gateways.
Jan 08 - Apply for HMRC access codes for Self assessment.
After about 10 days waiting, I find a standardised two page email in spam.
Did not understand how it applied to me but it obviously said NO..
Jan 09 - Desperately applied for the paper version and filled that in.
Paid a bit more tax on account.
Feb 09 - Got fined 100 GBP
- Wasted all morning filling in the appeal form.
Mar 09 - Got charged a few quid in interest as I had under guestimated the tax.
(The spike in interest rates in 2008 had pushed Mr Dog into 30% tax)
Apr 08 . 100 GBP penalty cancelled.
(The saga continued - that tax office still has not processed the 08/09 return
The computer system is getting frantic 'cos I have not sent it any July
payment on account for the second half of 09/10)

appleblossomtime

hello, I wonder if anyone can help on this. My Mum passed away in early December. She made a will years ago with her solicitors and named them as one of the executors, and me as the other one. It's not a big estate - less than 200k, and we are a big family. I want to do as much as possible so the solicitors' bill is reduced but they seem to be insisting on doing things, even asking where the deeds to the house are. We, the family, are in agreement that we'll do whatever needs doing ourselves, but how much involvement do the solicitors need to have? I'd appreciate any advice.

John_Pierpoint

Does she name an individual solicitor rather than the firm?
If an individual, with a bit of luck he might have retired and not want the hassle of being an executor?.