What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

John_Pierpoint

Please write who the people are on the back of photographs, while there is still someone who can recognise them.

isitenough

Been reading through the thread but just wanted to ask - how do you choose the solicitor to do the will? OH and I really need to buckle down and get one done but even though been living here 10 yrs never had to use a solicotor so no idea where to start!
Is it expensive? (we have debts, covered by insurance, but still need to budget quite hard and a will is neccesary but the cost is obviously a concern).
Many thanks.

John_Pierpoint

There are some self publicists on this site who rightfully point out that "solicitors" are generalists and might have trouble keeping up with the latest legislation, especially now that InHeritance Tax is a major revenue earner for this deep in debt country.
(IHT starts at 325,000 the gross value of everything you own less your debts and funeral expenses as at the day you die).

A simple will can be done from a kit, but there really is no substitute for getting a good book and reading these threads and so getting your own head round the rules and options before consulting a "professional".

A badly written will can generate more than it cost in potential disputes, after the death.

If it is probable that you will be paying IHT make sure your will deals with the government as the extra, and the first in line, beneficiary - most don't.

As you can see from these postings, getting a so called professional to write a will, does NOT mean it will be done correctly.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1164505

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1795457

TeetersOnHeels

Hi...
Having had to help my mum with the whole probate/will stuff 18mths ago when my dad died I have been aware that I should at least get something written down ie. where my life insurance paperwork is etc. But do I actually need a will? I am an only child, aged 40, with a mother in her 70's and a DS who's 15. I'm not in a relationship, DS's dad is not on the scene - lives in OZ with little contact.

sarymclary

TeeteronHeels - I'd say that if you have any financial obligations/property/money that you would want to ensure go to the people you want them to, then having a will is always important. You have a dependant, who I would presume you would want to ensure any monetary benefit from your estate would go to. You do not mention whether you are single/married/divorced. I was separated from my husband, but when he died, I was still classed as his next-of-kin, therefore had the job of dealing with all his financial mess. If you were married, and not been divorced, then DS's dad would be your nex-of-kin. As you have a life insurance policy I would say it was very important to get a will written.

I believe there is a scheme about to finish this month, where for a donation to a charity, you can get a free will written with a solicitor. It was in Martin's weekly email, so do a search on this site.

tcclalel

Hello, thanks for all the useful information on here - my Dad died yesterday and I am trying to sort out all the paperwork etc. Mum is here but I want to sort it all out.
After going through all my Dad's paperwork, I can't see anything to do with any life insurance policies. I have googled this, but can anyone advise what they have done?
I am going to go through his bank statements, but I know I will not find anything! He has a couple of pensions that he doesn't pay in to, I will ring these companies in the morning, grand total of £4000 - yes, useless with money! Hey, life is for living, make the most of it

sarymclary

Hello tcclalel, firstly I'm sorry to hear about your sad loss, and please accept my condolences to your family.

I know you say you'd like to take care of all of the paperwork for your mum, but if you weren't involved in your parents' financial arrangements, you may need to ask your mum to guide you in the right direction.

However, I do think you should give your mum time until she is expected to deal with the practicalities of dealing with your father's death. I don't know whether your father was very elderly, if he died suddenly, or if it was an expected thing. If sudden, then your parents may not have prepared for this eventuality, and matters could be rather disorganised. If expected, then they may have their affairs in order. My suggestion would be for you to gather together the paperwork you can find, and try to put it into some semblance of order. You could undertake to advise certain authorities/agencies of your father's death, and get things such as the utilities, council tax, etc., put into your mother's name. You'll need to send original copies of the Death Certificate with these letters. You can take original documents into the local Council Offices, and they will make a note that the original document was witnessed, and it saves the time of it getting stuck in the 'system'. As your mum is the direct next of kin, and as there doesn't appear to be a high value estate, so no appointed executors like a solicitor, she will have to be prepared to deal with banks herself, as I don't think they will discuss matters with anyone other than next of kin or appointed executor. So, if they had a joint account, it will need to be converted into a sole named account now.

You cay you can't find an insurance policy, and I'm a bit unsure what advice you are asking for, as to 'what they have done'? Do you mean that there isn't an insurance policy for a mortgage, or do you mean their life? If they had a current insurance policy, I would expect to see a direct debit payment appearing on a bank statement to show it is being paid into.

If your father was under retirement age, then contact previous employers to see if there was a company occupational pension that he paid into while there, that may make payments. My husband died in his mid-30's, but I discovered months later in a box of papers an old payslip, and a letter regarding his company pension, from when he'd been employed in the early 1990's. I wrote to them, and they now pay me, and my children a monthly amount; it's modest, but it's something.

I'm not sure if your mum works, but it may be worthwhile contacting the benefits helpline to find out what your mum may be entitled to. She could be entitled, based on your dad's NI contributions, to a one off payment of £2000, which would be useful to help with funeral costs.

Try to be supportive with the funeral arrangements, and if money is going to be very tight, then try to arrange family/friends to help with car transport, rather than booking them through the funeral director. If there was no pre-payment plan for funeral paid into, then try to be practical, if possible. It's easy to allow emotions to overwhelm us at such times, but my saving grace when organising/ordering things was to think that my husband would have gone mad at me for wasting money on a fancy coffin lining, when it's the last thing he'd have cared about. The funeral service itself is what you'll all remember, so ensure that is a fitting tribute to your father, and reflects the love and care you all felt from him, and you all felt for him.

I know there's not much money left, but you're right, life is for living, and so long as he's not left debts behind, that's not such a bad thing.

Take care of yourselves, and come back to ask questions whenever you feel the need, or just let us know how you're feeling, if you need support. There's always a friendly face here for you.

Thinking of you at this difficult time.

tcclalel

Thank you Sarymclary

I have changed all the utilites, and filled in paperwork for the allowances she may be entitled to.
Thankfully I did find a direct debit for life insurance, he just had no paperwork here to say he had it!
It was very sudden and very unexpected, but i am proud of him for what organisation he had, as I have managed to sort everything apart from the banks at the moment.
The coroner is going to issue an interim certificate on Mon, so am hpoing the bank will accept that to amend the joint account, most direct debits I have changed into my Mums name anyway

thanks again

henryg_2

Thanks for starting this thread- what a great reminder of things to have prepared. I haven't had to deal with this specifically yet but am glad this discussion has happened so as to get me to do something about it now.

All the best to all who're reading.

Buggins

Hi,
I wonder if anyone can help me. My sister died at the weekend and her son has gone into hospital on Monday. The funeral has been arranged for a day next week with everything booked but I fear her son (only child) may not be able to make the date. Does anyone know if it is easy to postpone things to a slightly later date. I know it's going to be difficult because of people turning up on the wrong day (as you don't know everyone who is going to attend)but he will be distraught if he can't make it.
Any ideas please -it's a nightmare.
Thanks as always
Buggins