What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

regstevens

Can be confusing in a time like this... First, I hope there is a will in place or you may have to fight for whats yours with creditors, banks, etc.

There is some info at this site on tax related spousal information

lilacbubbles

Having been thru having to sort stuff after my dad died v suddenly and unexpectedly, my tip is make sure direct debits come out of a joint account, that way they keep ticking over rather than being stopped from a frozen account. It gave us a bit of space and one less thing to deal with straight away.

SwitchyChick

whitewing wrote: »

While I have a great sense of humour normally, this isn't a joke so I would appreciate it if I got only sensitive replies on this post. Sorry this isn't money saving but I don't know who else to ask. It seems like a daft question but it important to the people who need to know.

A very close and very much loved member of my close family died very recently. We have to take the clothes in which he is to be buried to the funeral director's tomorrow. Our question is whether we need to include underwear and shoes? We could phone up and ask but the next-of-kin won't bother the funeral director out of hours, but i know it will bother them all night otherwise and make a sad situation worse.

The passing itself was peaceful and couldn't have been more loving so we are okay but sensible answers would be very helpful.

Been thro the links on the thread and got some lovely poems and other useful info, so thanks a lot anyway.

My FiL died last year and his funeral handled by Co-Op Funeral Services. Not sure if it the same for others but they said that we couldn't use leather shoes because it was to be a cremation. Same went for belts, etc.

hostertlady

what a wonderful thread i have discovered as i am in the process of getting my affairs in order..
what i really want to know is what is the best way of approaching an elderly relative and asking them " have you got your affairs in order". a lot of people know it is going to happen but dont want to talk about it and there's not really a lot you can do about that is there??

chrissie55

We've made wills & have a joint a/c, but I 'do' all the money & my partnr can't/won't use computer, so I've left some cash stashed in me wellies for him, & made a list of bank details, etc., & given it to a trustworthy friend but NOT signed it with me name....just in case she get burgled. We may hafta get married, just to get legal rights - 'common law' doesn't really exist when it comes to property rights, etc.,:mad:

Ickle-toots

Something else to mention with regard to getting the details changed to the spouse so they can legally drive the car, is to find out if the no claims bonus (ncd) can be passed to the spouse/new policy holder - In most cases the insurance company will usually need to speak to the underwriter to see if this can be done, more so really as a gesture of goodwill.

langdale_2

Hi all ,
Firstly so sorry for anyone greiving at the moment . My Dad died suddenly aged 55. Ihave 2 daughters aged 3 and 2 at the time. I thought that they were coping fine but recently my eldest now 4 yrs continually asks about death and worries about this a lot , luckily i bought a great book called "the dragonfly door " It has really helped my daughters and also me !! If any one is looking for a book to share with bereaved children i would definately reccommend this .There is also a website called "thedragonflyproject" which is really useful.
Hope this helps someone !!

Jammygal

langdale wrote: »

Hi all ,
Firstly so sorry for anyone greiving at the moment . My Dad died suddenly aged 55. Ihave 2 daughters aged 3 and 2 at the time. I thought that they were coping fine but recently my eldest now 4 yrs continually asks about death and worries about this a lot , luckily i bought a great book called "the dragonfly door " It has really helped my daughters and also me !! If any one is looking for a book to share with bereaved children i would definately reccommend this .There is also a website called "thedragonflyproject" which is really useful.
Hope this helps someone !!

A friend of mine has just lost her hubby in rta and this will prove useful..thanks;)

chillerman

Hi. My mum passed away on the 2nd of this month and luckly she had sorted out the funeral arrangements. She chose the songs and the reading. Im glad she had because the paperwork and other things to do just after wouldnt have left a lot of time. It may seem strange but the funeral was enjoyable in a way!! Friends got up and spoke about her different things in life and how she inspired them and made them laugh!! She was a very lovely lady. She started looking after me when I was a 1 yr old and she came and took over the childrens home I was in. She stayed till I was 14 and she had to leave due to ill health. She then took me and another girl who had been there a long time and fostered us. I stayed with her untill I got married. She then had a few "obsticles" as she called them in the lst 20 yrs to get over She was in a R.T.A. and spent over a year in hospital, came out disabled and on crutches, then she had a Quadruple heart Bypass and then a leg amputation!! All this time she lived on her own and was a fantastic Nanny to my two girls. Two years ago Vascular Dymentia got her and took her away from me. Finally she was released from that hell and has gone to heaven where she belongs. Tomorrow my wife and I are goig to scatter her ashes on Swanage cliffs nr Old Harry's Rocks where she grew up. I still cant grieve properly for her as my F.I.Law suffered a massive stroke 7 wks ago and is still in hospital and will forever need 24 hr care as he cannot communicate and is bedridden. I need to be strong for my wife even though she would understand but its so hard and sometimes I cant cope. I thought I was a big man but when you loose someone you love you realize how small you are. I'm sorry for the long post and if its in the wrong place but I had to tell somebody. The keyboards wet now but I feel a bit better. Thanks.

consultant31

Chillerman I'm so sorry for your loss. It takes a big man to cry, so don't worry about that. Let your wife know how you feel, that's what a marriage is all about - she will support you as you will support her with her father.

I lost my lovely Dad just less than a year ago and took over looking after my Mum, who completely fell to pieces. It takes a while, but the day will come when you can smile when you think about your Mum as I now do when I think of my Dad. They loved us and would hate for us to be unhappy.

My thoughts are with you and your family.