Separated; husband now having baby with girlfriend

Oldernotwiser · 21 August 2011 at 5:30PM

Kathy535 wrote: »

Hi. I got divorced from my husband in April 2004. I did a diy divorce via the local courts on the basis that we'd been split up for two years. When I asked for advice I was told that the two years started from when you said you'd separated not necessarily from when you had been living apart). So, you could say that you've been separated from Aug 2009 and commence action straight away. I'm assuming it's still the same rules, obviously.

I don't know who advised you on this but it seems as if they advised you to lie about the facts.

Oldernotwiser · 21 August 2011 at 5:32PM

janninew wrote: »

It seems from reading other posts by the OP that she to has a partner, so they have both comitted adultery! If her ex knows this, things could get ugly. Much better to wait for November and keep things amicable. Divorces that turn nasty are stressfull and can be lengthly and costly.

Surely he'll be in as much hurry as she is to get divorced if there's a baby on the way?

mackemdave · 21 August 2011 at 5:40PM

gillypkk wrote: »

it doesnt matter how long a couple are separated for. as long as they are still legally married its adultery.

i would also go with the divorce on the grounds of adultery and if he contests it the baby is proof enough that he did infact commit adultery.

Ignore this advice and go for the 2 yr seperation......You can say you seperated in Aug 2009 and thats the 2 yrs.....In divorce there is no advantage being the innocent party so go the easiest route...2 yr seperation

Nitha · 21 August 2011 at 5:48PM

My now husband was still married when we had our first because the divorce took so long. It wasn't 'Jerry Springer' nor was it adultery on his part as it was after the separation (caused by her adultery). The only impact it had on his ex was her son now had a brother.

If you want to speed things up then 'unreasonable behavior' is probably the best option as it covers a broad manner of events. I'd speak to a solicitor. Be warned though - this could result in things getting nasty.

gillypkk · 21 August 2011 at 5:49PM

mackemdave wrote: »

Ignore this advice and go for the 2 yr seperation......You can say you seperated in Aug 2009 and thats the 2 yrs.....In divorce there is no advantage being the innocent party so go the easiest route...2 yr seperation

lying on official court documents is illegal! very very bad advice!

Nitha · 21 August 2011 at 5:54PM

gillypkk wrote: »

lying on official court documents is illegal! very very bad advice!

Agree - never ever do this

gillypkk · 21 August 2011 at 5:57PM

Nitha wrote: »

Agree - never ever do this

its not like there wont be a paper trail showing when the actual separation was like when he rented a new place, when gas and leccy names were changed etc....

please please dont lie to the courts. its not worth the risk.

mackemdave · 21 August 2011 at 7:40PM

You can live in the same house and be classed as seperated....The only two people who would know would be the two people involved....Unreasonable Behaviour and Adultery are just going to cause conflict...2 yr seperation is the easiest way to avoid the aggro if both parties consent

How can anyone disprove that they seperated in Aug rather than Nov,,,The OP wants her divorce over as quickly as possible so that she can move on which is what her soon to be ex is doing.

janninew · 21 August 2011 at 9:12PM

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Surely he'll be in as much hurry as she is to get divorced if there's a baby on the way?

Maybe he will, or he might get very annoyed being accused of adultery if in fact the OP left him for somebody else, this is something we don't know! All we know is he's having a baby with somebody now nearly 2 years later, when the OP mentioned in previous posts that she had a partner over a year ago.

pupsicola · 22 August 2011 at 6:10PM

Things must have changed massively since I got divorced 5 years ago. I divorced my now ex husband on grounds of unreasonable behaviour (that reason makes me laugh as it doesn't even come close to covering how he carried on). It took less than 4 months from initial meeting with solicitor to decree absolute. I agree with the others, that in your situation go for divorce on grounds of adultery. Hope it goes through quickly and smoothly for you. Its horrible being in limbo land.