Separated; husband now having baby with girlfriend

meritaten

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I would really love to hear your definition of adultery!:rotfl:

I get that he is still legally married - so in some peoples (most it appears from here) he is still married and commiting adultery.
In my mind they separated and are divorcing - the papers havent been signed yet by the judge - but they both agreed the marraige was over and were legally separated.
Perhaps I am weird, but, they werent committed to each other were they? and I have seen plenty of support on here for GFs whose partners were still legally married.
I save my sympathy for those women who find that the men who are still bound to them and living with them get their mistresses pregnant - which is obviously not the case here!

Rebecca01

When I was going through my divorce, discussing things with my solicitor about divorce in general. She said if you have been living separately for a while and can prove separate lives, it couldnt be classed as adultery and other partner could contest it, as that is not the reason their married lives finished. So maybe FannyAnna is right, or my solicitor was wrong. lol

Kathy535

Hi. I got divorced from my husband in April 2004. I did a diy divorce via the local courts on the basis that we'd been split up for two years. When I asked for advice I was told that the two years started from when you said you'd separated not necessarily from when you had been living apart). So, you could say that you've been separated from Aug 2009 and commence action straight away. I'm assuming it's still the same rules, obviously.

clearingout

Torry_Quine wrote: »

16 weeks isn't very long at all to get a divorce.

16 weeks to nisi stage. There's then at least another 6 weeks before the absolute can be applied for and many solicitors advise holding off on this if the financial side of things aren't sorted. I guess the point is, she's unlikely to get a divorce prior to the baby being born, although may manage it with a bit of luck or at least very soon after.

janninew

I use to work for a Family Lawyer and have been divorced myself, and a divorce on the grounds of adultery in this case would be on very shaky ground and could easily be contested.

My first husband had an affair, yet wouldn't admit it. He started to divorce me on the grounds of my unreasonable behaviour. My Solicitor advised me that without evidence that he was cheating when we were still together, he could have as many girlfriends as he liked now, but as we were already separated, the judge would not grant a divorce on the grounds of adultery. He recommended letting my ex divorce me as it was cheaper to be divorced, than divorce somebody (if that makes sense!) I really had to bite my lip when I signed those papers, but in the end it took around 3 months and cost me a fixed fee of £300.00. Nobody contested anything, there wasn't any point, the end result will be the same.

I'm a strong believer in karma, and sure enough, she kicked him out after 6 months and he's back to living at home with his Mum at 31 years old!

gillypkk

fannyanna wrote: »

How do you know they split because he cheated?

it doesnt matter how long a couple are separated for. as long as they are still legally married its adultery.

i would also go with the divorce on the grounds of adultery and if he contests it the baby is proof enough that he did infact commit adultery.

janninew

gillypkk wrote: »

it doesnt matter how long a couple are separated for. as long as they are still legally married its adultery.

i would also go with the divorce on the grounds of adultery and if he contests it the baby is proof enough that he did infact commit adultery.

It seems from reading other posts by the OP that she to has a partner, so they have both comitted adultery! If her ex knows this, things could get ugly. Much better to wait for November and keep things amicable. Divorces that turn nasty are stressfull and can be lengthly and costly.

Rebecca01

Instead of waiting , why can't you just put unreasonable behaviour . It doesn't have to be awful and make him angry but just something that bothered you. Afterall what's unreasonable for one couple may not be for another. My divorce took four months , I used this method. Once it's at the nisi stage , it's pretty much done anyway. Ok you have to wait six weeks and a day for the absolute but from the nisi stage , it's very difficult to go back.

shellsuit

It's only 10 weeks till November, can you not wait till then?

gillypkk

ive passed the 2 year stage (well passed in fact!) and im no where near getting divorced coz my ex isnt co-operating. why not talk to him about it and see what he says? its worth a shot!