Separated; husband now having baby with girlfriend

fannyanna

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I thought the coming baby was a bit of a clue to adultery; the reason they split is irrelevant.

Yes I'm not stupid enough to believe in an immaculate conception.

I had presumed that you were a free agent once seperated. I understand now that was mistaken.

meritaten

sorry, but I must be missing something here - you split amicably enough in Nov 09 and the date for the divorce is Nov 11.
your ex has informed you that his gf is now 3months pregnant - conception therefore in late May early June? THIS YEAR? So why on earth has this got people jumping to the conclusion that therefore the OH had committed adultery?????????
and WHY are YOUR knickers in a twist about it? you have been separated for nearly two years? why is it suddenly jerry springer time? people arent going to bat an eyelash over it!
why do you feel you MUST get divorced straight away? she is only going to be six months along in Nov. TBH you are separated and he is getting on with his life - its no concern of yours if his GF is pregnant. stick to the original plans hun!

pigpen

meritaten wrote: »

So why on earth has this got people jumping to the conclusion that therefore the OH had committed adultery?????????!

Legally they are still married therefore having a sexual relationship with anyone else is still adultery.. until they are divorced.. If they had been separated 100 years but still married he woud STILL be committing adultery by sleeping with this other woman..

I can understand why OP wouldnt want to be married to a man who was having a baby with another woman.. but I doubt he (or his gf) is particularly happy about it either.. I know I wasnt best pleased to have my baby while still married to someone else.. and I had no intention to remarry.

scubaangel

I guess because OP feels uncomfortable being married to a man who has got someone else pg regardless of their separation.

The easiest way for them to divorce would be to wait until November when they can go the mutual agreement route but if the husband wants to divorce more quickly the easiest way would be for the OP to sue for divorce on grounds of his adultery (since that's the most easily proven route - pg girlfriend = adultery legally regardless of their being separated) and for him to not contest it.

That said at this point unless the girlfriend wants to be married before the birth of their child it would be easier and no doubt cheaper all round to leave it the few more months until November. But you do need to start sorting the house issues, getting your name off the property could hold up the divorce whenever you get it started OP.

Torry_Quine

meritaten wrote: »

sorry, but I must be missing something here - you split amicably enough in Nov 09 and the date for the divorce is Nov 11.
your ex has informed you that his gf is now 3months pregnant - conception therefore in late May early June? THIS YEAR? So why on earth has this got people jumping to the conclusion that therefore the OH had committed adultery?????????
and WHY are YOUR knickers in a twist about it? you have been separated for nearly two years? why is it suddenly jerry springer time? people arent going to bat an eyelash over it!
why do you feel you MUST get divorced straight away? she is only going to be six months along in Nov. TBH you are separated and he is getting on with his life - its no concern of yours if his GF is pregnant. stick to the original plans hun!

They are still married, albeit seperated so it is still adultery. I can understand that she may have felt that until the divorce it was inappropriate to move on to another relationship.

clearingout

scubaangel wrote: »

The easiest way for them to divorce would be to wait until November when they can go the mutual agreement route but if the husband wants to divorce more quickly the easiest way would be for the OP to sue for divorce on grounds of his adultery (since that's the most easily proven route - pg girlfriend = adultery legally regardless of their being separated) and for him to not contest it.

That said at this point unless the girlfriend wants to be married before the birth of their child it would be easier and no doubt cheaper all round to leave it the few more months until November. But you do need to start sorting the house issues, getting your name off the property could hold up the divorce whenever you get it started OP.

Divorce on the grounds of adultery in no cheaper than one on the grounds of two year separation. It might be easier emotionally because no one is accusing anyone of anything, but it takes as long as it takes.

To put it in context - my decree nisi took 16 weeks from the date that it was submitted to the court. There's very little that can be 'considered' quick about that, is there?! Divorces are dealt with in the order they are received at the courts - you don't jump to the top of the queue because it's all amicable.

Oldernotwiser

clearingout wrote: »

Divorce on the grounds of adultery in no cheaper than one on the grounds of two year separation. It might be easier emotionally because no one is accusing anyone of anything, but it takes as long as it takes.

To put it in context - my decree nisi took 16 weeks from the date that it was submitted to the court. There's very little that can be 'considered' quick about that, is there?! Divorces are dealt with in the order they are received at the courts - you don't jump to the top of the queue because it's all amicable.

I suggested a divorce on grounds of adultery, not because the process is quicker but because it could be initiated immediately.

Oldernotwiser

meritaten wrote: »

your ex has informed you that his gf is now 3months pregnant - conception therefore in late May early June? THIS YEAR? So why on earth has this got people jumping to the conclusion that therefore the OH had committed adultery?????????

I would really love to hear your definition of adultery!:rotfl:

scubaangel

clearingout wrote: »

Divorce on the grounds of adultery in no cheaper than one on the grounds of two year separation. It might be easier emotionally because no one is accusing anyone of anything, but it takes as long as it takes.

To put it in context - my decree nisi took 16 weeks from the date that it was submitted to the court. There's very little that can be 'considered' quick about that, is there?! Divorces are dealt with in the order they are received at the courts - you don't jump to the top of the queue because it's all amicable.

I was thinking more that a mutual divorce is less likely to run up large legal bills than for one party to initiate it and hope the other doesn't contest.

As with ONW less about the time scale of the divorce process but about how soon it can be started. Probably not being very clear about that.

Torry_Quine

clearingout wrote: »

To put it in context - my decree nisi took 16 weeks from the date that it was submitted to the court. There's very little that can be 'considered' quick about that, is there?! Divorces are dealt with in the order they are received at the courts - you don't jump to the top of the queue because it's all amicable.

16 weeks isn't very long at all to get a divorce.