The Modern but Old Style Homemakers Club

life_in_termoil

I need to get off here for a while as ive just realised that........Ive done no laundry for the past 2 days!!!!!

Someone please give me a boot up the backside!!

red_devil

life_in_termoil wrote: »

I need to get off here for a while as ive just realised that........Ive done no laundry for the past 2 days!!!!!

Someone please give me a boot up the backside!!

boot off you go;)

Chuzzle

Hi peeps

I have read this entire thread and I am SOOOOOO jealous of all those that can and chose to stay at home. My oldest son turned 18 today and I suddenly realised how much of his life as a youngster I missed out on as I was working . Unfortunately it was never a possibility for me not to work and I do have HUGE regrets about this, I know my boys (2 aged 18 & 13) have turned out fine, its me that has missed out on so much though.
I woul dlove to be able to join this group but instead I shall lurk and read everything and dream......

I guess my son's birthday has brought out the worst in me and I need to go and have a tearful 5 mins or so.....

life_in_termoil

Off to do a sweep of the bedrooms and the bathroom to collect stray laundry, will be back later once the washing machine is on and doing its job,

juliapenguin

*Chattie* wrote: »

I take it this is the daily thread with numbers? Martin hasn't issued me with a number to enable me to post here so I won't be joining any exclusive club.

I'm sorry but I have no idea about this? I thought we were just calling it a 'club' for the fun of feeling like we are not alone out there as homemakers (for whatever reason)? Nothing exclusive going on here at all! You're welcome to join/lurk/post no matter what your situation :beer:

juliapenguin

Molly41 wrote: »

I will read this thread with interest as I continue to carve out my niche x

Hello Molly - for me, this is the whole point of the thread. I've defined myself by my job for so long and now I need to find my niche. I hope we can all help each other.

myway_2

Can i join please?:D.
I'm a home maker, My youngest has just turned 16 i have 4 children the eldest is 28:eek:. I'm 47.

20somethinghousewife

Oooooh this thread is perfect for me!!
I'm 25 and haven't worked for 3 years. The main reason is because of my health, I have M.E.
I worked about 4 days a week in Monsoon for a few years after I got married but I didn't cope very well. I was sort of in denial about my health at that time (other people didn't take M.E. seriously so I decided I wasn't going to either ) but I clearly remember the pain I was in every day, going to the loo just to sit down for a minute, hiding in the stockroom so I could close my eyes for a bit... And when I got home I wasn't good for anything, OH had to do all the cooking which wasn't healthy or economical and I went straight to bed when I got home and often didn't even get up on my day off or weekends.
We then took a long hard look at our priorites and I decided to quit altogether after gradually cutting back my hours but not seeing any difference in my health.

I would say that the disadvantages have been:

• Money problems (OS living is a fairly recent thing for me, we weren't living within our means for a long time. We always had debt before but it shot up after I stopped working).
• Loss of self-respect (friends all at uni, starting careers, even having kids; me at home feeling like I'm going nowhere) I felt like I had to keep justifying it to myself all the time. Still do sometimes. Also felt bad that my DH was supporting me completely.
• Lack of social life (this was mainly down to my illness though)

And the advantages have been:

• Learning to cook, clean, manage a household OS
• Increased feelings of self-worth as I gradually got my house/priorities/life organised
• Being able to look after my lovely husband as well as he deserves. Being able to support him as he worked hard to get his business off the ground
• Having time to do things for others, even just little things like having people over for dinner or visiting elderly neighbours/relatives or making someone a cake, even bits of charity work
• Looking after my health, being able to rest when I need to and pace myself during the day, avoiding stress, having time to cook decent food
• Having a better relationship with my husband as we have more time together
• Learning to live on less and thinking about what we really NEED and what we can do without

Tips and advice I would give 3 years on:

• Sit down and work out how you can afford to give up work. Consider what you'll be willing to sacrifice, draw up a budget and stick to it.
• Don't buy into society's views that your self-worth is measured by your career/income and that being a home-maker is demeaning. If friends make you feel like this they are probably just jealous!
• Make a list of all the things you want to do with your time eg organise house, grow veg, visit friends, do a college course, exercise,read that book you've always wished you had time for! Also write down any long term goals you have as a family and how you'll be able to work towards them. Make all these things into some kind of rough schedule so you have some sort of routine and feel like you're accomplishing things. The flylady thread is a great starting point
• Have good communication with your OH. It's important that he's on board with your plans. Find out how he hopes to benefit from the new arrangment eg meal on the table when he gets in from work, less chores

I've just tried to be really frank about my experiences here. The disadvantages I've listed can all be overcome. I think that I was just forces into this situation before I was ready. This is very specific to my own experience/circumstances and what I can see in hindsight. Now if I'm honest I wouldn't want to go back to work even if I magically recovered from my illness. I'm really happy and content. I hope this helps someone...

life_in_termoil

*sneaks in quick" :wave:Helloooooooooo newbies

*rushes out again before I get booted*

juliapenguin

life_in_termoil wrote: »

*sneaks in quick" :wave:Helloooooooooo newbies

*rushes out again before I get booted*

Bad girl! Off you go again.