The Modern but Old Style Homemakers Club

letitsnow

Hi,
JuliaPenguin - I would love to join but probably won't be able to contribute too much - but will certainly keep reading! I'm off work this week hence the time spent geeking up on MSE!
Rachbc and Juliapenguin make good points. I think I'm the main 'homemaker' despite us both working and I am away from the house longer. He does help - often does laundry, bins. But I do all cooking, most of the cleaning, all meal plans, budgeting. He was brought up in a very split roles household and was never taught to do anything domestic! He's getting better but there's no innate homemaker in him just yet! As such, as rachbc says, things do slip a bit every now and then.
After reading all this last night I asked my oh if he'd prefer me to be a stay at home homemaker. He said whatever makes me happy - which I think is a very good answer At the moment we can't afford it but we definitely could in a few years (if we stay mse), so who knows! Keep the tips and experiences coming...

tootoo

I always have so much to try and get done! Friday is a non-work day at least!
* Washing in machine - done!
* washing out on line - done!
* change our bedding - done!
* Make pizza dough for tea - done!
* Post a birthday present and card
* check bank to ensure a dd has been cancelled
* put second load of washing in
* hang second load of washing out
* tidy downstairs several times picking up toys and books!

I also could really do with trying meal planning again - does anyone else do this? I have a freezer full (I can't get anything else in there!) so I really need to use some stuff up!
The sun is shining this morning which is lovely as it rained most of yesterday!
Tootoo

rachbc

juliapenguin wrote: »

I know we're all different, but for me that just isn't true - when we are both working flat-out, a lot of the homemaker stuff NEVER gets done - for me, a peaceful, clean and uncluttered home environment are a key factor in keeping my mental health good, and in my last job we just never got that done, in spite of both me and DH doing as much as we could evenings and weekends. We'd manage to do the laundry, but it was always a rush, the flat was always a tip and we had very little home-cooked from scratch food. Stuff got wasted because I might buy meat one day, be too tired to cook it and get a takeaway, then forget all about it until the smell started to seep out of the fridge. Disgusting, I know, but when my mental health goes, I become disorganised and lethargic

I'm absolutely not criticising anyone - in fact I have huge admiration for people who can work outside the home and STILL get everything done at home. Some people may be able to have it all, but I don't think I'm one of them.

I wasn't criticising either or saying anyone 'should' be able to manage it all and like I said don't want to hijack this thread into a debate, I was just answering the specific question from the other poster. I shall disappear now as my place is not on this thread at the mo!

juliapenguin

Welcome to all the lovely new members!

Just a word on the money side - I had a big breakdown four years ago and had to leave a full-time job. At that point we were spending every penny we earned, and we were both quite worried about how we would manage on the one salary. However, I joined MSE and started doing all the OS things I had grown up with, plus a few more. The biggest thing was the spending diary - I noted down everything and at the end of the week highlighted anything that was a luxury rather than a necessity. I made two totals - the actual spend and the spend minus the luxuries, so that I could see how much we could live on if we absolutely had to. I was out of work the whole summer and we actually put money into savings, in spite of having quite a few treats which we could have managed without if absolutely necessary. One difference then was that I was on Incapacity Benefit and this last time I was refused the shiny new version of it, in spite of having the exact same circumstances. However I'm also living in a much smaller place now, so Council Tax and the utilities are less.

I'll be interested to see whether we are actually worse off without me working. I know that most people would be, but with my mental health issues I can't do the OS things I want to do when I'm so tired and stressed. We transfer £250 a month into my own account from the joint account every month so that I never have to consult DH about withdrawing cash from the machine (to avoid an overdraft), and I can't believe how little cash I use when I'm not at work. My work-related coping strategies are obviously not cheap!

juliapenguin

rachbc wrote: »

I wasn't criticising either or saying anyone 'should' be able to manage it all and like I said don't want to hijack this thread into a debate, I was just answering the specific question from the other poster. I shall disappear now as my place is not on this thread at the mo!

Please don't go! I know you weren't criticising or hijacking, and it's nice having people with different situations!

red_devil

me please i also tried to set up a separate forum if anyone is interested.

red_devil

im unemployed but i do voluntary work and i sometimes help my partner in his business. I help with website and facebook page. I also spend alot of time doing surveys and trying to bag freebies on the net. Ha. Other than that i attend a womens centre and sometimes we have trips out and go for walks. Also do housework, gardening, washing, ironing, shopping, banking, usual stuff and i help my partner with his cleaning and washing etc as he is working flat out full time.

Nice day today and i shall sit outside soon and read. Washing on the line.

Kimsmum

Hi, I would love to join, I am at home all the time as my Oh is disabled and I am his carer.
Thank you

juliapenguin

tootoo wrote: »

I also could really do with trying meal planning again - does anyone else do this? I have a freezer full (I can't get anything else in there!) so I really need to use some stuff up!

No I don't, but I used to and it made a huge difference to the budget. Maybe we could inspire each other? I know there's a separate meal plan thread but I find I get lost and demotivated if I try to keep up with too many threads with people whose names I don't recognise.

We're eating out tonight with my brother and his wife but I think I'm going to have a good root through the freezer later and try to plan to use up all the stuff that's been lurking.

juliapenguin

Hovel_lady wrote: »

We're growing cucumbers, tomatoes, sweetcorn, pumpkins, spring onions, herbs, rocket, apples, grapes.
We've already harvested pototoes, strawberries and raspberries.
We've also been foraging for blackberries and wild plums that OH makes into wine.

I wish I lived next door to you to 'help' you with all the excess stuff you can't eat :rotfl: