Depression

Sazbo

Ethel sweetheart. I'm here if you need me, you don't have to struggle with it on your own.

Much love,
Sazbomber xxxxx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

:hello: elona how are things with you? Haven't seen you about recently. Hope you are looking after yourself.

Patchwork cat, (((HUGS))) You have had a tough few years. You've done well to identify a possible cause of your depression (lack of support network) Perhaps trying some kind of talk therapy again would be ideal for you. I agree that CBT might be of benefit. Do you have good friends that are there for you?

Let_Robinson_Sing, :hello: Good to hear from you! Sorry to hear that your laptop is poorly _pale_ How are you doing? Are things with you and your girlfriend going well?

queensway_boy, Your post is a little worrying hun. How are you doing? Talk to us. We are all here for you.

Karrie, What did your Doctor mean by counselling being means tested? Isn't it the Doctor's duty to refer you?

Perhaps after a few days off work you will start to feel a little better. It will give you some breathing space.

indeeptrouble, Welcome to MSE and the depression thread. I'm really sorry to hear about your suspension from work (((HUGS))) Lets hope you can return back to work ASAP.

If you really are feeling low again, I'd definately go back to see a Doctor. As Karrie said, if you don't feel like you're getting anywhere with your own GP request that you see another. When someone is depressed it isn't a case of 'just snapping out of it' it is much more complex.

Kate, Best of luck with your Doctor's appointment tomorrow. Sounds like making the appointment wasn't made easy for you. (((HUGS)))

Ethel, Don't let your bf take advantage of your good nature hun. It doesn't sound like he's being particularly supportive towards you. Does he actually live with you permanantly? It sounds like he's using your house like some kind of hotel. Men :mad: Big (((HUGS))) Thinking of you xxx

Sazbo How are you hun? How's life treating you?

Tiff_2

Hi kate!
As usual, the guys have given you excellent advice hun.
I'm glad you found the thread and found the courage to post. Thanks for sharing your situation.

quote=_KateJust found this part of the forum

I have been feeling "down" for a few months now and it doesn't seem to getting any better. I'm not sure if it's depression or not....When i look at a list of symptoms i tick nearly every one!! but the things that make me sad/angry are mostly things out of my control.
Depression can be a funny animal angel. If you look on the web, you'll see many sites all with their own little lists of symptoms. Mental ill health of any kind can affect people differntly hun - some can't wake up, others can't sleep for example. So as everyone else said, time to go to see your gp - he's the gateway to many services and will be in a better position to diagnose you or refer you to someone who can.

Have been thinking about going to the doctors for a while but as i said previously i'm not sure what medication will do....will it just make things seem easier to deal with?
I would appreciate any advice/support from people who are/have been in the same position.
Thanks alot
Kate/quote
That's a really good question kate. I know I was waiting for a miracle cure. And I'm still waiting!;) All we want to do is feel better but with mental ill health, time is an unknown. I think a lot of us wondered at the beginning how a tablet would help or even that nothing would help! But you have nothing to lose hun and when you see your gp, you can ask them to explain any possible side effects and what the med will do to help you.
People on this thread are wonderful, they really are. You'll never have to worry about support/suggestions on here angel. I hope you'll let us know how you gt on hun. Take care kate.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

If the dr gives you meds, it will NOT cure any problems. Hopefully what it will do, is help you manage and feel better. The dr may start you on a minimum dose of med to see how they affect you or work and take it from there. If you're struggling with problems, there are different agencies who can help depending on what they are or maybe some counselling might be suggested.

Tiff_2

razorbladekisses wrote: »

:hello: guys!

Tiff, (((HUGS))) Congrats on losing weight :T well done you! That's really good news and you've joined a gym too :T The gym sounds nice and friendly. Hopefully you will enjoy going there. I was very scared when I first joined the gym but after a while you get used to going and seeing the same people each week. Anyway, WELL DONE TIFF!

The Sister-in-law sounds evil :eek: how rude and insensitive of her! :mad: Sounds like she needs to learn to think before she opens her mouth. I know it's easier said than done but you have to try and ignore the horrible comments otherwise it will just cause more upset. (((HUGS))) I hate to think of people being nasty to you Tiff because you are such a sweet and caring person and don't deserve it. You're going to look amazing on the day hun. You're beautiful anyway. Perhaps she's just jealous.
When will you get the results from the tests?

Hi rbk!:hello:
How are you angel? I have been thinking of you and I'm trying to catch up without leaving anyone out if I can. Feel like a blinkin' hamster on a wheel!:rolleyes:

Thanks for the kind words rbk. I went again yesterday for my second visit. People still as friendly and even the staff are not a size -1!;) Harder than the first time actually, which surprised me. Apparently they work out a routine based on your first assessment session so it's all tailor-made for you. Overdid it on a hamstring exercise and boy did my arthritis let my knees know about it!:o Have another session booked in for tomorrow. I guess I'll feel more relaxed once I make it a habit. I hope to go 3 times a week. It's nice too because they've got a couple pf little curtained booths to change in in the exercise area and inside there's complementary deodorant and facial cleaning wipes. So I get to exercise and get a facial!:D :rotfl: With the sessions being only 30 mins long, the time goes quickly.

As for the results of the blood tests, they take a week but as they were ordered by my arthritis consultant, unless there's something really wrong, I'll get the results at my next appointment with him in September!:rolleyes:

I'm trying not to rise to the bait of sis-in-law to be.
Phone call last night from her, letting me know about DS's suit final fitting and saying that he needs to bring black shoes. Then...
'He does have black shoes doesn't he? I thought everyone has a pair of good black shoes. I know you've not got much money. My mum said you might not have a pair of good black shoes for him. Has he got a pair of good black shoes?'
I stopped her - and me!:D - from having a deep vein thrombosis by telling her that yes, DS has a pair of good black shoes.:rolleyes: I know she's really stressed out bless her.

Anyway, enough about me - what's happening in your corner hun? Take care angel - hope all is well.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Karrie

Tiff wrote: »

Hi karrie!:hello:
How are you hun?
quote=Karrie;Thanks Tiff. All that you're going through and you still have time to send a reply for me.


Well I seem to be sinking deeper and deeper into that grey tunnel again. I just don't want to do anything. I don't want to see anyone. I literally had to make myself go to work last week. It was hard and I can't see it getting any easier at the moment. I have bad nightmares (people trying to kill me) and morbid thoughts. These worry me because I know I wouldn't do anything to myself but why am I having them?
I know how upsetting these things can be angel and you should tell your dr about them. They can be common symptoms in depression hun. It could be down to all the stress and lack of help you've had. You've coped with an awful lot on low resources angel. I think there's usually a point when we can think the strangest things and it can be scary so don't put any more pressure on yourself by fretting over it. That'll just bring it to the front of your mind. Try and do some relaxation hun. Your dr will have heard of this before karrie - so don't feel like you're the only one hun.;)

I can sit on the settee and just daydream for hours, about nothing in particular. I am getting really angry with myself for feeling like this. I tell myself to pull myself together but I just can't. I am going to see doc on Tuesday morning and would love for her to sign me off work. I love my job but it's so so hard to get out of bed in the morning. I can't even decide what to wear so just throw anything on wether it's ironed or not. I even went to work on Friday without brushing my hair!! I thought I would be improving by now but if anything, it's getting unbearable. I have failed my son by being like this.
No karrie. You would have failed your son by NOT being there. Time with your meds and drs is still very new. You haven't given up and you've had the courage to ask for help.:T It really would be best to go back for an update hun, if you haven't already.

The hard facts are that you've had a really hard time hun, and that you've been diagnosed with depression - that you can't help angel. It's like blaming yourself for having brown eyes, for example.
These are things you haven't chosen. I can't say when you'll feel better hun. But, I can tell you that you haven't come this far without being a survivor! That's still somewhere there inside you and what a noble characteristic to show your son!:T It won't always feel like this angel and that's what you have to hold on to.

You've done so much, on your own, and your son will love you for that. He comes to you, shares his problems and no matter how you've been feeling, you've been there for him. There is nothing better a mother can do for their child, than to let them know, really know, that you love them, that you're there for them - and your son knows this hun.:T

I know where you're coming from karrie. Mental ill health is scary enough for us, but when you have a young soul to care for, you do everything you can to protect them from it. No wonder we reach breaking point! In time, as he matures, he'll tell you how proud he is of you karrie. And sweetie, you know deep in your heart that you're doing all you can, the best you can, and no-one can ask for more than that. And part of that strength is knowing when to ask for help imho.

Although we're mothers, we are only human, and when our children see us struggle and then overcome our problems, as you will, we help make them into survivors too. They're still going to drop clothes on the floor, spill their sodas, grunt instead of speak, but you'll always have his love and respect karrie. He knows you're there for him.

I'm even thinking of finishing with my partner of 4 years because I feel his life would be better without me in it.
Don't make the mistake of trying to read the future karrie. If it's too much for him, hopefully you're close enough for him to tell you and you can try and find a solution together. It's not an all-or-nothing situation hun. Let him decide what's best for him angel!;)

My son was threatened yesterday by the usual bully boy. He told him to get of a bit of green where my son was playing and told him he was going to "smash his f***ing face in". Anyway, I was in the mood for a temper tantrum so told my son to go back to where he was playing and hid behind some trees. Didn't take long for bully to come back. Throwing stones at my son and shouting "your mum is a f****ing b**tch" and "we're gonna get you." I walked out from behind the tree and the boys face was a picture of shock. He ran for his life. I'd really had enough but didn't get a chance to confront the little ............
It shouldn't reach the point where you're hiding behind trees hun. Call the police. I have read your next post and you surprised yourself with your strength and courage in facing his parents. Takes a lot of guts, that does girl!;) If only you can manage to find a way to fight for yourself in the same way - you deserve it.;)

I just want to curl up and disappear at the moment. I don't want to write that but it's true right now and I don't want it to be./quote
Voicing our worst thoughts and emotions is an enormous task and again a brave thing to do karrie. I'm glad you're not going to curl up and disappear , though it's how you feel hun,
- (do you know how much paperwork that would involve? All those officials looking for you - that'll put everyone's council tax up - then there'll be a political crisis and the Alien Party will get in and then... ahem - sorry!:o :rolleyes: )
- because I think you'd leave a huge gap in the lives of those around you angel. Let time start the healing angel - you didn't get like this overnight and it's going to take time to recover. I believe in you hun -you can do this!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Hi Tiff

I wish I could learn to relax. When I sit here I think about things all the time. I would love my mind to go blank and to have some energy would be fantastic. You are right I should fight more for me. As any mother, I do anything for my son but when it comes to me, I feel I am not important. Right now, I have no faith in my medication because I see no way of this going away right now. I am calmer because I am not going back to work til Friday. Come Friday my other face will appear. Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I didn't sleep well last night and feel totally wiped this morning. I look at other people and just wish I could be more like them. Confident, happy and at peace with life.

Karrie

EthelBloggs wrote: »

tiffy if you're serious..

you can get crocs here and here
i've got two pairs of Caymans so far
I think Next also sell them so maybe have a look there so you can have a try on n stuff first

I've had a bit of an epiphany these last few days.. I've realised that my relationship with b/f is going nowhere and he's a lazy, selfish, unsupportive git to boot. The last straw was him saying he'd help me move the old washing machine to make way for the new one but guess what? I ended up doing it myself. Also, with it being a bank holiday weekend, he's booked extra days off (fri-tues) so he's got 5 days off which would be ideal for him to help me decorate the bedroom as the wardrobes are finally coming next week and it makes sense to do it before they come rather than faff about after.. but nooooooo.. he's going to stay at his friends house for those 5 days and leave me to do the bedroom by myself :mad:

Tonight he asked me what's for dinner, I told him what was in the freezer and gave him a few options and then I dozed off.. so he made himself spaghetti on toast (demolishing the kitchen in the process) and didn't even offer me a cuppa.. after I spent the day humping washing machines about and even plumbed it in by myself.

I'm sick of living with a man who does nothing to support me or help me, especialy now when my health is bad both physically and mentally.. he does absolutely nothing and I haven't got the energy for freeloaders anymore.

So if I'm not around for a bit.. you'll know why

Hi Ethel

What reason is he giving that he is spending 5 days at a friends house? With what you are going through, you need his understanding and support not to be desserted.

I am thinking of you. It's hard enough without other problems thrown in. I do admire you.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Morning guys!

Tiff, I am OK thank you.

So Tiff, are you actually enjoying going to the gym? I must say your gym sounds really nice. You're going to end up a super fit Tiff soon

September :eek: that's ages away. At least if you don't get them until then it's all good news

Your sister-in-law to be sounds like she needs to take a few deep breaths and relax. She'll have exhausted herself by the time the wedding arrives. I hope she hasn't been upsetting you any more.

Not very much happening with me tbh. Just working and going to the gym. Very lonely now that my boyfriend and I have split but I knew it had to be done. Lost all purpose now.

xxx

flis21

Morning All,

A bit down this morning. I put on a pound at weight watchers last night. And they are closing our meeting down for 4 weeks as there isn't a leader to take it. That means I have to go for 4 weeks, which is right up to my holiday, without the support of the meeting / weekly weigh in. Then I have my holiday, so not going to a meeting for the next 6 weeks.

Am going to need all the help I can get to stick to it without that support.

Also am panicking, I have a pre-pay debit card and paid £230 onto it on Saturday, it usually takes 1 working day to go on and usually if I pay in on a Saturday it will be on there on Tuesday morning. I have just checked it and the money is still not on there. I have my Tesco online grocery shop due to come tonight and if the money isn't on there they won't be able to deliver it.

Am going to phone them at 9 o'clock and find out what is happening. I really can't afford to lose that sort of money, so I hope they can sort it all out ASAP.

Karrie

razorbladekisses wrote: »

Karrie, What did your Doctor mean by counselling being means tested? Isn't it the Doctor's duty to refer you?

Perhaps after a few days off work you will start to feel a little better. It will give you some breathing space.

Hi RBK

I assumed it depends on what I earn and what benefits I get as a single parent She gave me a telephone number of a counselling service with is about 30 miles away. When I had PND 10 years ago I was referred by my doc. So much seems to have changed in 10 years within the NHS.

I hope I do feel able to cope soon because everyday I wake up hoping that I will be my normal self again but it just aint happening :mad:

I hope you are ok.

Karrie

flis21 wrote: »

Morning All,

A bit down this morning. I put on a pound at weight watchers last night. And they are closing our meeting down for 4 weeks as there isn't a leader to take it. That means I have to go for 4 weeks, which is right up to my holiday, without the support of the meeting / weekly weigh in. Then I have my holiday, so not going to a meeting for the next 6 weeks.

Am going to need all the help I can get to stick to it without that support.

Also am panicking, I have a pre-pay debit card and paid £230 onto it on Saturday, it usually takes 1 working day to go on and usually if I pay in on a Saturday it will be on there on Tuesday morning. I have just checked it and the money is still not on there. I have my Tesco online grocery shop due to come tonight and if the money isn't on there they won't be able to deliver it.

Am going to phone them at 9 o'clock and find out what is happening. I really can't afford to lose that sort of money, so I hope they can sort it all out ASAP.

Hi Flis

Hopefully there is a simple explanation for the money not showing in your account.

That's not very good of Weight Watchers. I am surprised they didn't suggest another meeting group in your that you could all attend until they find a leader.

Hope you are feeling a little brighter soon.