Depression

indeeptrouble

Karrie wrote: »

Welcome :wave:

Unfortunately, unless someone is affected by the illness, they don't realise. many people don't understand depression (including me sometimes :rolleyes: ). Had they given you verbal or written warnings before? I didn't think you could be suspended unless you had warnings. You should go back to your gp and discuss the situation as soon as possible.

I work for someone like your line manager but I am lucky that I have many good friends at work that can see through her. I wouldn't trust her as far as I can throw her. That said, I enjoy my job and I don't let her get to me in any way.

Hope you're feeling brighter soon.

Hi Karrie,

Thanks for the welcome.

No I received no warnings at all. That is why my union have just said 'go and enjoy the sunny weather - you'll be back in no time'. I guess that is easier said than done when you have that lying over you.

As for the GP. You know after 4 years I wonder whether he thinks I'm trying to 'pull a fast one' and get more time off work. It is embarrasing to say the least. At the same time if he could just see what I'm like on bad days he would know I was serious. Some days I just cry and cry into my pillow. This is out of sight of my wife and lovely kids (although my wife understands and does help). For gods sake what is wrong with me. I have a lovely family, nice house, a bit of cash, car?? Sometimes I see some poor s*ds on tv. starving and I tell myself to snap out of it but I can't.

Regards
Indeeptrouble

_Kate__2

indeeptrouble wrote: »

At the same time if he could just see what I'm like on bad days he would know I was serious. Some days I just cry and cry into my pillow. This is out of sight of my wife and lovely kids (although my wife understands and does help). For gods sake what is wrong with me. I have a lovely family, nice house, a bit of cash, car?? Sometimes I see some poor s*ds on tv. starving and I tell myself to snap out of it but I can't.

Hi indeeptrouble,
I am new to this thread too but what you said above could have been written by me! This is one of the reasons i have only just made a dr's appointment as i just thought i was being selfish for "not snapping out of it".
Now i have the appointment made for tomorrow i already feel a bit more positive even though making the appointment is another post all together :mad:

Sorry to waffle on about myself but what i'm trying to say is i totally sympathise with how you are feeling and your work situation as i too work for a monster manager and she made my working life a living hell. Thankfully you are part of a union who will hopefully be able to get to the bottom of it all for you.
Another thing is if you really don't think your GP is supportive can you not change? Maybe not the whole practise but see another Dr....they might have another view to offer? This is what i have done but for other reasons and it's made a real difference.

I really hope you get things sorted for you but in the mean time use all of the support you have/can get.

Karrie

I know where you're coming from. My colleagues wife has cancer again, my neighbour has cancer and a friend of mine has chrones disease. That made me feel worse when I have a house, job, car, healthy child and those poor people are coping with those diseases. How could I feel so low and be in despair when people were suffering. But as my doc said just because people can't see it, it doesn't mean it isn't an illness. We are all different and deal with it in different ways.

You really shouldn't worry what the doctor thinks. If you are not happy with your treatment, change your doctor. Don't be embarrassed. I understand how you feel. They are there to treat you not to criticise you. I've never told anyone about my illness until two weeks ago because I was ashamed and thought I would be judged but I've had great love and care from the chosen people that I have told. I find it difficult to talk to people about personal issues and always will but right now I need their help and understanding. I've been back to the doc 3 times in three weeks! :rolleyes: But I am determined that I get back on my feet again and don't care what the doc or other people think. Please go back to the doctor and explain how you are feeling and what happened at work.

I am sure you will get lots of replies from others later on.

Take care

Karrie

Hi Kate :wave:

Good luck with your appointment tomorrow :T

_Kate__2

Hi Karrie,
Thanks alot! I nearly didn't make one :mad: I popped in and asked for a DR's appointment and the receptionist asked what for...i got a bit embarrassed but managed to mumble something about anti-depressants. She then gave me one for tomorrow.
Then as i was walking back home one of the nurse's rang from the surgery on my mobile asking why i wanted an appointment I again said i wished to speak to the dr about some anti-depressants. She then went on to ask me if i really meant "normal depression" or PND as i have a 4 month old DD. Then told me if i was in a depressive state i wouldn't really know what i wanted and that she would inform the Health Visitors of my "problems" and to go through them!!ut
I was in the middle of town talking on my mobile about a very personal subject as it was without her forcing her opinions on me!!
I told her as politely as i could that i was well away of the "dangers of PND" and that i was 100% i was just "normally depressed" as my depression has been with for nearly 5 years now. She then made out she was doing me a favour by letting me keep the DR's appointment!!

To say i was steaming is an understatement indeed :mad:

Then 5 mins after she rang back and asked me to confirm my DOB as the person whose record she had made all the notes on and presumably had referred to when calling me had the same name as me but was 67!!! Unbelievable!! but i did have a smile on my face all the way home as i confirmed....No, im NOT 67....:D

Karrie

Some people just don't think do they! They certainly shouldn't try to diagnose you over the phone!! :mad:

Glad you're feeling younger too!!

Tiff_2

Hi ethel!:hello:
How are you hun? As you can see I'm still catching up.:rolleyes:
Really good to hear about your visit with DD angel.:T A woman that doesn't like shopping?!!!:eek: Maybe they should check your blood tests hun to make sure you're not missing the important shopping gene!;)

Hiya tiffster
Unfortunately my mum owns her house.. this woman however doesn't so a call to the landlord might be in order.
That's what I'd do hun. As well as the police, you have the option of getting in touch with the Community Police Officer for her street(s). They will keep an eye out for any anti-social behaviour and visit her. They'll probably give her their contact number so they can log and respond when this carp happens. They'll keep checking on mum once in a while.;) It may help, with your third pair of hands :rolleyes: , if you make initial contact with them as you are more likely to see her frailties. Tough old birds tend to keep their beaks shut!;)

This woman used to be great friends with my mum.. for about 10 years.. and all of a sudden she turned on her with no explanation, went and told all the neighbours that my mum had said this that and the other about them when in fact it was this woman! The upshot is now that none of the neighbours talk to my mum and actively exclude her from all their activities.. (it was a really nice little community and they would all socialise together in the gardens and communal areas) We've had this woman's kids threatening to stab both us and my mum in the past and all incidents back then were reported to the police. Seems this woman must be bored as she's starting up again :mad: Oh well.. me mum's a tough old bird and they needed her more than she needs them.
Nice woman then?!!!
I hate this sort of herd mentality! Their loss hun.;)
If people took the time to find out the truth by asking the other person for their view instead of just taking someone's word for it, none of this would happen.:o
Another thought guys - if things get too stressful, or people are in a similar situation, you can apply for a move elsewhere due to medical/social reasons.


Blood tests all came back normal.. so not sure what happens now cos there is deffo sommat not right :eek: /quote
I'm glad nothing serious came back angel. :T

I wouldn't care so much as long as they found what the problem was. That way, you know you can follow a treatment. Feels like anything is better than not knowing sometimes.:rolleyes: I hope it all works out hun.
Maybe you'll be a scientific first? :j In a good way I mean angel!;)
Glad you're getting a new machine hun - I know how back-breaking hand-washing can be!:eek: :rolleyes:
Hope you're enjoying the sunshine ethel and that you're getting some rest. HOT up here in Warwickshire guys! Being blonde and fair, I don't get gorgeous tans, I just go the shades that lobsters seem to find appealing!:rolleyes:
So Tiff says...
I WANT SNOW!!!!!:D
Come on guys - doesn't this look good right now?!



Anyway I digress - :rolleyes: - Hoping all is well ethel and hope
DS is well too. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

EthelBloggs wrote: »

crocs are the most amazing shoes in the world They're soo comfy - I can walk all day in mine and no aching feet at the end of it... which is a huge boost for me cos I've always got sore feet.

I've got a red pair and a pale blue pair and I'm looking to expand my collection when funds permit, hehehe

!!!! knows what time i be home.. around 8ish I reckon

Hey ethel!:hello:
Where can I buy some crocs from hun?
Sounds just what a Tiff could use right now!;)
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi karrie!:hello:
How are you hun?
quote=Karrie;Thanks Tiff. All that you're going through and you still have time to send a reply for me.


Well I seem to be sinking deeper and deeper into that grey tunnel again. I just don't want to do anything. I don't want to see anyone. I literally had to make myself go to work last week. It was hard and I can't see it getting any easier at the moment. I have bad nightmares (people trying to kill me) and morbid thoughts. These worry me because I know I wouldn't do anything to myself but why am I having them?
I know how upsetting these things can be angel and you should tell your dr about them. They can be common symptoms in depression hun. It could be down to all the stress and lack of help you've had. You've coped with an awful lot on low resources angel. I think there's usually a point when we can think the strangest things and it can be scary so don't put any more pressure on yourself by fretting over it. That'll just bring it to the front of your mind. Try and do some relaxation hun. Your dr will have heard of this before karrie - so don't feel like you're the only one hun.;)

I can sit on the settee and just daydream for hours, about nothing in particular. I am getting really angry with myself for feeling like this. I tell myself to pull myself together but I just can't. I am going to see doc on Tuesday morning and would love for her to sign me off work. I love my job but it's so so hard to get out of bed in the morning. I can't even decide what to wear so just throw anything on wether it's ironed or not. I even went to work on Friday without brushing my hair!! I thought I would be improving by now but if anything, it's getting unbearable. I have failed my son by being like this.
No karrie. You would have failed your son by NOT being there. Time with your meds and drs is still very new. You haven't given up and you've had the courage to ask for help.:T It really would be best to go back for an update hun, if you haven't already.

The hard facts are that you've had a really hard time hun, and that you've been diagnosed with depression - that you can't help angel. It's like blaming yourself for having brown eyes, for example.
These are things you haven't chosen. I can't say when you'll feel better hun. But, I can tell you that you haven't come this far without being a survivor! That's still somewhere there inside you and what a noble characteristic to show your son!:T It won't always feel like this angel and that's what you have to hold on to.

You've done so much, on your own, and your son will love you for that. He comes to you, shares his problems and no matter how you've been feeling, you've been there for him. There is nothing better a mother can do for their child, than to let them know, really know, that you love them, that you're there for them - and your son knows this hun.:T

I know where you're coming from karrie. Mental ill health is scary enough for us, but when you have a young soul to care for, you do everything you can to protect them from it. No wonder we reach breaking point! In time, as he matures, he'll tell you how proud he is of you karrie. And sweetie, you know deep in your heart that you're doing all you can, the best you can, and no-one can ask for more than that. And part of that strength is knowing when to ask for help imho.

Although we're mothers, we are only human, and when our children see us struggle and then overcome our problems, as you will, we help make them into survivors too. They're still going to drop clothes on the floor, spill their sodas, grunt instead of speak, but you'll always have his love and respect karrie. He knows you're there for him.

I'm even thinking of finishing with my partner of 4 years because I feel his life would be better without me in it.
Don't make the mistake of trying to read the future karrie. If it's too much for him, hopefully you're close enough for him to tell you and you can try and find a solution together. It's not an all-or-nothing situation hun. Let him decide what's best for him angel!;)

My son was threatened yesterday by the usual bully boy. He told him to get of a bit of green where my son was playing and told him he was going to "smash his f***ing face in". Anyway, I was in the mood for a temper tantrum so told my son to go back to where he was playing and hid behind some trees. Didn't take long for bully to come back. Throwing stones at my son and shouting "your mum is a f****ing b**tch" and "we're gonna get you." I walked out from behind the tree and the boys face was a picture of shock. He ran for his life. I'd really had enough but didn't get a chance to confront the little ............
It shouldn't reach the point where you're hiding behind trees hun. Call the police. I have read your next post and you surprised yourself with your strength and courage in facing his parents. Takes a lot of guts, that does girl!;) If only you can manage to find a way to fight for yourself in the same way - you deserve it.;)

I just want to curl up and disappear at the moment. I don't want to write that but it's true right now and I don't want it to be./quote
Voicing our worst thoughts and emotions is an enormous task and again a brave thing to do karrie. I'm glad you're not going to curl up and disappear , though it's how you feel hun,
- (do you know how much paperwork that would involve? All those officials looking for you - that'll put everyone's council tax up - then there'll be a political crisis and the Alien Party will get in and then... ahem - sorry!:o :rolleyes: )
- because I think you'd leave a huge gap in the lives of those around you angel. Let time start the healing angel - you didn't get like this overnight and it's going to take time to recover. I believe in you hun -you can do this!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

EthelBloggs

Tiff wrote: »

Hey ethel!:hello:
Where can I buy some crocs from hun?
Sounds just what a Tiff could use right now!;)
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

tiffy if you're serious..

you can get crocs here and here
i've got two pairs of Caymans so far
I think Next also sell them so maybe have a look there so you can have a try on n stuff first

I've had a bit of an epiphany these last few days.. I've realised that my relationship with b/f is going nowhere and he's a lazy, selfish, unsupportive git to boot. The last straw was him saying he'd help me move the old washing machine to make way for the new one but guess what? I ended up doing it myself. Also, with it being a bank holiday weekend, he's booked extra days off (fri-tues) so he's got 5 days off which would be ideal for him to help me decorate the bedroom as the wardrobes are finally coming next week and it makes sense to do it before they come rather than faff about after.. but nooooooo.. he's going to stay at his friends house for those 5 days and leave me to do the bedroom by myself :mad:

Tonight he asked me what's for dinner, I told him what was in the freezer and gave him a few options and then I dozed off.. so he made himself spaghetti on toast (demolishing the kitchen in the process) and didn't even offer me a cuppa.. after I spent the day humping washing machines about and even plumbed it in by myself.

I'm sick of living with a man who does nothing to support me or help me, especialy now when my health is bad both physically and mentally.. he does absolutely nothing and I haven't got the energy for freeloaders anymore.

So if I'm not around for a bit.. you'll know why