Depression

elona

hello everybody

Trying to catch up on what has been going on in the last day or so.

Hugs to flis, rosie and anyone else having a difficult time at the moment.

Need to get myself to the station to get tickets for DD and a friend to go to a concert in a week or so so see you all later.

patchwork_cat

Hi
I have been on prozac 2 a day for 9 years and am reducing it. Most of the time I feel mush better than I did 10 years ago, but sometimes I do feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I have tried counselling and that didn't help, rather made me much worse. How I have reacted to depression is a lack of motivation and slowly pushing peole away. The catalyst to my depression was losing over 75% of my family in 5 years. I only have my brother left that is not from family that I have created/ married (if you know what I mean) .
I had a carp childhood as my parents divorced when I was 7 after my mum was a battered wife and I was sent to boarding school - some people will say oh boarding school - you are lucky, but it isn't midnight feasts and jolly hockey sticks( or lacrosse in my case) - I was effectively put in care. Being punished for my families break up- in the eyes of a 7 year old.

I do have some excellent things - my husband is a wonderful, patient man, but he is human and not a saint and doesn't talk as much as would be helpful. I have 2 kids who are healthy and bright - they are kids though!! I think a principal cause of my continuing depression is a lack of a support network. It isn't as bad as it was when the kids where little though. I do hope no one recognises me as 1 benefit of this forum is anonymity.
Thanks for listening - patch

flis21

I know what you mean Patch, I love the anonimity of this forum. It is the one place I can truly say what I feel without worrying about other people's feelings / what they will think of me.

It sounds like you have had a really bad time of it over the years, it is a shame that counselling didn't help. Have you talked through any other options with your doctor, CBT maybe? Also maybe give counselling another go. The first time I had it it didn't help at all, I didn't really get on with her very well. But the second time it really did help and I worked through a lot of my problems. I am just annoyed that I only got funding for 8 sessions, as I would have loved more, think it would have really helped me, but I can't afford to pay for it privately.

Anyway, it sounds like you have a lovely Husband and 2 lovely children, I think it is the people we are close to that keep us going. I know that I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for my hubby.

Sending you lots of hugs.

Flis

patchwork_cat

Hi
I have had counselling from 2 different people and it made me much worse. I have thought about CBT and will ask the Dr again about that.

Let_Robinson_Sing

Tiff wrote: »

Hi guys!


lrs - where are you hiding? Hope you're all well.

Hey folks.

My laptop at home seems to have a virus on it so i cant get online. Thus, I am having to do all my 'business' on college computers. It's not very private sadly.

Things are going so-so. i feel a bit less lonely now than when i did a few days ago. I hope things will improve.

I hope everyone is doing ok!

Hello to all the newcomers

queensway_boy

I've been pushed down so many times
I feel this time will be the last
as I lay here fading
my thoughts are invaded by memories of my past
I feel the pressures of shame and rejection building
as I lay here on the floor
I have no strength to get up
I'm not worth it any more

Karrie

queensway_boy wrote: »

I've been pushed down so many times
I feel this time will be the last
as I lay here fading
my thoughts are invaded by memories of my past
I feel the pressures of shame and rejection building
as I lay here on the floor
I have no strength to get up
I'm not worth it any more

I can totally relate to those words QB. Please let us know that you are ok. I know it's hard but I feel writing it all down relieves some of those feelings.

Karrie

Had my docs visit this morning. She wasn't surprised that there had been no improvement and told me to stick with the meds for another 4 weeks. I guess I was expecting an immediate improvement. She suggested counselling to which I said yes but then she said it is means tested and that I had to call the counselling people. Hmm not sure I can be @rsed to go round phoning people. I have also signed myself off for a few days. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted of my shoulders just by not having to go to work for a few days.

indeeptrouble

Just thought I'd say a quick hello. I have been lurking around this board for many months now.

I have suffered from depression for about 4 years now. Off and on I've been on meds. I thought I'd conquered it over the last few months. No meds. Feeling a bit better and then 'bang' - I was suspended for work for apparently performance related issues. Ten years I've been working for this so called company. Do they know how hard it is to get to work each day? Do they care?? And on top of that my performance has manged to stay on top. Just about. I'm certainly not the worst performer. I'd say about middle.

So I'm sitting at home suspended and feeling really low. I mean really low. I've spoke to my union who says I have nothing to worry about. That is all well and good but my line manager is a right b*tch. She really is in for causing trouble for me.

Indeeptrouble

Karrie

indeeptrouble wrote: »

Just thought I'd say a quick hello. I have been lurking around this board for many months now.

I have suffered from depression for about 4 years now. Off and on I've been on meds. I thought I'd conquered it over the last few months. No meds. Feeling a bit better and then 'bang' - I was suspended for work for apparently performance related issues. Ten years I've been working for this so called company. Do they know how hard it is to get to work each day? Do they care?? And on top of that my performance has manged to stay on top. Just about. I'm certainly not the worst performer. I'd say about middle.

So I'm sitting at home suspended and feeling really low. I mean really low. I've spoke to my union who says I have nothing to worry about. That is all well and good but my line manager is a right b*tch. She really is in for causing trouble for me.

Indeeptrouble

Welcome :wave:

Unfortunately, unless someone is affected by the illness, they don't realise. many people don't understand depression (including me sometimes :rolleyes: ). Had they given you verbal or written warnings before? I didn't think you could be suspended unless you had warnings. You should go back to your gp and discuss the situation as soon as possible.

I work for someone like your line manager but I am lucky that I have many good friends at work that can see through her. I wouldn't trust her as far as I can throw her. That said, I enjoy my job and I don't let her get to me in any way.

Hope you're feeling brighter soon.