Depression

EthelBloggs

Hiya RBK and Gem :waves:

I'm not enjoying the home alone thing at all.. maybe it's cos my house is so big.. I feel quite vulnerable even tho everything is locked up and I find myself wondering if someone is hiding somewhere waiting to get me or sommat. I know it's daft and no one's here.. but there you go, lol

She got black hair dye :eek: actually it really suits her when she does it.. she looks very gothy. They were 2 for a fiver in boots so not bad, lol. My guard must have been down when she bought the arm sleeve things cos they had lace with big safety pins going thru them... staff made her take the pins off and give them to me before I left. I think the main reason she's not self harming is lack of opportunity but at the same time, although she still wants to.. she's glad her arms and other bits are healing.

As for MY hair.. I've yet to get the guts to do it, lol
I've thought about doing it for months, but was chicken and only cos the stuff was reduced and I had enough vouchers to get it for really cheap did I buy it.. so we shall see.

Bio oil is lovely, it smells nice and it does what it claims to do, fades scars and stretch marks etc.. its lovely in the bath too. I've got half a bottle left after over a year so I might give her that, but I've heard vitamin E oil is good too.. might talk to my gp first, he's a dermatologist so he'll know what will work best I spose.

I'm just sat here now with a cuppa, put some of me washing to soak so it'll be nice n easy to do tomorrow, hehe#

How are you both?

Horasio

I don't know about who or what is the root of my problems.

As a child I needed more time with my mother but she was busy and she is very controlling, yet charismatic, so was taken over by her, I didn't have any real friends or identity till I met my OH at 17, so was very dependent on her.

We moved around a lot and I could never really settle into a school and didn't really know how to behave - I was either too quiet or too silly, trying to fit in and prevent myself from being bullied/singled out. I just needed someone I could trust and relax with but I was alone and felt vulnerable, so had to find ways of dealing with that feeling. Being very high and happy seemed to protect me, being tired and quiet made me vulnerable, so I fear being tired and relaxed.

As my OH is a lot older, I probably demanded more of him than was right for our ages - he was my friend first, then we fell in love but all the baggage I had came out in our marriage and he wasn't strong enough to handle it, so it caused problems. He had his own baggage too. He has been pretty reasonable lately but I don't trust anyone.

I don't blame anyone, I ultimately have to deal with my problems and do it the best way I can but with key people who are rather conditional, it does make me wonder who really cares about me.

I find I am OK when I feel good and energetic but when I am tired I am vulnerable and go back to being a young child again.

rose07

Falling, falling
I cant stand the sounds
Make them stop now please
It making me go round and round

Im lost on a whirl
speeding down to earth
I forget the meanings
The way and what its worth

The pain is all inside
Crack me and you will see
But I hide so well to the point,
You just cant see thru me

People they come and go
Who are the ones to trust
The ones to talk to
When we feel at our worst



na nite everyone

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
Happy 1st April everyone!
It feels like the other 364 days a year are All Fools Days to me!:D :rolleyes:
Hoping all is well with everyone.:A
Just a Tiff thought guys - don't forget that the Easter/Bank Holiday, holidays are approaching, so if you need meds or appointments get them now before the whole country virtually stops for nearly two weeks! :rolleyes:

Huge Tiffy hugs to you all.
To sazzy, ethel, rose, pumpkin, elona, gem, stenny, cb2, cm, gilly, flis, beer, rbk, qb, bunnie, cc, blinky, twinny, lrs, cat, ltd, karrie, o&h, miro, lewt, et al, look after yourselves guys and have a great Sunday.
Thinking of you all.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Let_Robinson_Sing

rose07 wrote: »

I wish I had a broken leg, then people would at least see my pain

trust me you dont want to wish that on yourself. I fractured my leg once when I fell off my moped, consequently i had a full leg cast. I was such a burden on my familly usually i'd make my own way to college on my bike, but seeing as i couldnt use it they had to take me. Even though I only had it for 2 months it was terrible. Being uncomfortable in bed, strugling to get up the stairs, a battle to get trousers on, showering was impossible without getting water down the cast. yuk you dont want to be in that situation hun.

btw hun, I am off to Split in Croatia

Sazbo

Good morning my lovlies :hello:

Just having me cuppa. Wishing you all a nice sunday.

Much love,
Sazzyxxxxxxxx

geminilady

Sazbo wrote: »

Good morning my lovlies :hello:

Just having me cuppa. Wishing you all a nice sunday.

Much love,
Sazzyxxxxxxxx

Morning saz,me too can't function without coffee.It is a lovely day here.I am looking forward to the easter break,get Friday and Monday off,how about you?Any plans for today? i might go sit in the park with a book and get some sunshine and peace and quiet.Also need to catch up on the dreaded ironing its not too bad if i put my music on but the kids moan as i love 60's stuff .

Sazbo

geminilady wrote: »

Morning saz,me too can't function without coffee.It is a lovely day here.I am looking forward to the easter break,get Friday and Monday off,how about you?Any plans for today? i might go sit in the park with a book and get some sunshine and peace and quiet.Also need to catch up on the dreaded ironing its not too bad if i put my music on but the kids moan as i love 60's stuff .

Hiya gem hun! :wave: xxx Good to hear from you.

Yes I'm looking forward to the break too, altho' it's a blessing and a curse for me, in that we have to squeeze a 5-day production cycle into 4 days for the two weeks of Easter, but still, I ain't complainin';):D

Not much planned for today hun. LOL I've foolishly signed up for a 10k run this summer! So went out for a run yesterday and i was knackered afterwards! :rotfl:

So just having a quietish day today. Need to do a few bits and pieces that I don't get time for during the week - y'know, exciting stuff like bill paying, laundry, tidying the flat etc:rolleyes::) But gotta be done I guess.

Sounds like a good plan gem - sunshine and a book. And I'm glad to hear that you're educating your kids about decent music!:D

Have a good day hun and take care,

Much love,
Sazxxxxxx

Horasio

Nice day here today

The neighbours are around and I have a second viewing at 2pm - I pray there isn't anything likely to put them off!

My mum rang and I feel she is depressing me, by going on about our son, he chose this lifestyle and his stupdity and feel they are going to undermine it all again. It was my mother's undermining in the his first 5 years when I lived down south that sowed the seeds and now my OH is doing the same - he is their problem - I did my best but undermined all the way, so it's their mess to clean up - I didn't/don't have a chance with two people fighting me.

My OH doesn't understand me either, he is trying to help but it's all waffle and not helpful - I feel so alone and confused. I need someone to understand me not preach or try to fix. Oh well, off to try and get some chemical help be it coffee, food or alcohol (very rarely used)

This house selling is taking it's toll after 9 weeks and want the effing thing over with.

Sazbo

Fingers crossed for the viewing cc. Have you had any feedback from your agent? Maybe the better weather will bring better results. I need another cuppa myself. Not really awake yet...

Sazx