Depression

learning_to_drive

Yeah, that would be interesting to read I thnk it's also quite cathartic, a means of letting go of the bad stuff.. you know?

I dont wanna sound like a fool or owt, or im too good for depression but its just nice to note everything.

learning_to_drive

Does anyone ever recover from depression? i've been reading a while and no- one seems any better. Or do people leave once better? is AD's the only way to go and stay on them for the rest of your days?

Do we think alcohol is the cause of alot of our problems? how many people drink here? Is debt the biggest cause here? Do people have bad things happen and thats why? Do all people that have bad things happen get depressed? Do we think we could just snap out of it and stop being self pitying? Is self pity (Poor me) what depression is?

Some questions to ask ourselves.

Christ, I think you have to go through the situation itself to understand, I certainly feel better but I cant just come off ad's, they sort out chemical imbalances effectively and have a long half life so it has to be monitored when you come off. Ditto I dont intend to come out of this thread once Im better, because its helping out others.

I think there is a lot of issues that push people down, I had everything at once, others just get down over short time or longer term or because of debt / whatever.

Its not a case of snapping out of it, it makes you lose motivation and there is a lack of understanding, funding and everything else with mental health, I found my counselling sessions very therupatic.

It all depends on your personality I guess as to how you deal with the problems. Booze never an issue really,

EthelBloggs

moneysaver1980 wrote:

Does anyone ever recover from depression? i've been reading a while and no- one seems any better. Or do people leave once better? is AD's the only way to go and stay on them for the rest of your days?

Do we think alcohol is the cause of alot of our problems? how many people drink here? Is debt the biggest cause here? Do people have bad things happen and thats why? Do all people that have bad things happen get depressed? Do we think we could just snap out of it and stop being self pitying? Is self pity (Poor me) what depression is?

Some questions to ask ourselves.

Some people leave, some people stay. Clinical depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, so I think if you're going to get it, you'll get it. People like Tony Hancock, Peter Sellars, Spike Milligan, Robbie Williams and even Winston Churchill suffer/ed from it and I wouldn't say that they'd have the same kind of dreary problems that most of us have. In other cases, events happen which trigger the depression, sometimes it takes many years for it to manifest itself.

Don't you think if it was easy to snap out of, it would have happened? People have lost jobs, homes, marriages etc because of it.. I don't think they'd choose that to happen if it was avoidable. Me personally am pretty much debt free, I'm not rich but I can manage on what I have, I don't really drink, just occasionally socially and probably despite living with a very stressful situation (if you've been reading then you'll know what it is) I shouldn't be depressed and yet I am Although it has to be said that I am feeling a lot better now than I did say a few months ago.

Alcohol.. Do alcholics drink because they're depressed or does alcohol cause the depression? someone with more experience in that field than I have would be better able to answer that.

I think you're asking chicken and egg type questions.. but food for thought nonetheless

EthelBloggs

learning_to_drive wrote:

I dont wanna sound like a fool or owt, or im too good for depression but its just nice to note everything.

yeah, I think I know what you mean.. just so you can look back in the future and say wow.. did I really feel like that?

EthelBloggs

Also, this thread is kind of like a way of touching base.. at least for me.. sometimes I ask for advice and sometimes I just come and whinge and other times I'm able to help someone else.. people can use it as much or as little as they feel comfortable with, there's nearly always someone with a big shoulder

Tiff_2

gillette147 wrote:

Hi and thanks,

I will do the other sessions - I just know that if left unguided, I would waffle on about stuff forever and nothing would change. Me saying stuff I already know isn't changing anything. And I only get 3 more sessions. I just can't see a lightbulb moment occurring in that time. And there are far more deserving cases lined up.

At least I'm out later - need a bit of enjoyment.
Just hope this headache abates.

Love to you sazzy and the others
xxxxx

Hi gilly!:wave:
How are you this a.m. gilly hun?
I think you should tell the counsellor the things you say in this post hun. At least then you'll know that you've put her in the picture and that you're not wasting time. This could be part of opening up for you hun.

Sometimes, it's not about what's happened to us gilly, it's about why we're 'stuck' over it, how can we change the things we feel when they overwhelm us, asking how to get off the hamster wheel.

Also hun, tell her you're feeling very low and worried about only having 3 more sessions. That seems to be affecting how you relate to the counselling process gilly. Why open up when I've only got 3 more sessions and then I'm thrown back out there to get on with it?! But that's sometimes part of depression too hun.

Tell her you need more help and maybe you'll feel a bit easier about it all. There's nothing worse than feeling pressured into having to get better in 'x' amount of time.

They can extend your time or care if you show them that you need that help - you won't just be left to deal with it.
Please believe hun, that your need is as great as anyone else's. If you didn't need it, you wouldn't have gotten it!;) Make the best use you can from what's being offered to you hun - be very honest about how you're feeling.
I wish I could make you feel better hun.
Look after yourself.;)
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

CarolnMalky wrote:

just a wee hello from me...having a dodgy time just now, we are off to newcastle for our anniversary tomorrow-if only I could leave my mind here!!

Hugs, kisses and fairy dust to all
C xx

Hi cm hun!:hello:
Happy Anniversary to you both angel!:T
Have an amazing time angel. Sorry it's so late - you're probably back by now!:rolleyes:
You know where we are if you need us sweetie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

EthelBloggs wrote:

Flippin eck tiffy.. you're having such a time of it lately... things can only get better tho from here on xxxxxxxxxxx

Hi ethel hun!:hello:

AAGH!:eek: :eek: :eek:

Don't ever say that hun! What are you trying to do to me ethel? Fate is all to willing to prove you wrong!:eek:
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi sps!
You're most welcome here hun - the guys are amazing!:T

sps wrote:

Hi Guys,
This is my first time on the site and i could do with some advice. I'm not sure if i'm in the right area but you seem approachable.

I'm 45yrs old and in the last 18mths my marriage of 24yrs ended. We lost our home due to creditors. We were both declared IVA status and on the sale, with no equity for either of us, we both walked away debt free, no marriage and no home, never mind no self respect or dignity. I was off work for over a year and almost committed due to suffering a mental breakdown. I considered suicide on numerous occasions but cannot do it because of what it will leave behind. Is it possible for me to attempt to get money back from the banks and credit card companies whose extortionate charges over a period of a number of years were a contributory factor to us becoming IVA status.

If anyone can help i'd be most grateful.

Well angel, it's obvious you're a survivor!
You are stronger than you think to have come through all that hun.:T
I'm sorry you've had such a rough time - make sure you are kind to yourself angel, and give yourself time to heal inside too.

As far as the debts hun, I'd grab every bit of paper & head off to CAB.
I know Martin:money: is running a crusade on unfair bank charges so it may be worth posting on the Debt-Free Wanabee thread for some up-to-date advice on this. They're lovely there and are used to complex situations.
You are very welcome here any time angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi twinny!:hello:
How are you today hun?

Twinny99 wrote:

Hi everyone :hello:
I've popped in for a moan and a whinge - sorry
No need for sorrys here angel.;)

In the last 2 weeks I've lost 2 family members. My Uncle (Dad's brother) died really suddenly 2 weeks ago and neither myself or Mum went to the funeral (in Dublin) because he was buried only 3 days after he died and it would have been really painful and horrible. I know thats no excuse and that all funerals are horrible but we both decided that we would go together in a few weeks time to see everyone then.
Then on Monday my Nana died (Dad and Uncles Mum) equally suddenly and I found out last night that the funeral is tomorrow.
I am so sorry for your losses angel.
We have to deal with our grief, but at the same time, we worry about how others might judge us - the etiquette of it all and our own feelings of guilt.
Don't judge yourself twinny angel. It doesn't matter where you were, or how you do it, you still felt the losses of loved ones - you didn't have to be there in person to mourn properly hun. I think you have to do these things the best way you can. Your only obligation is to the people you've lost, not just the ones still here.

Make a date with mum and do something special to mark your loved ones' passing. They would know in their own hearts, wherever they are, how much you loved them angel. And that's the most important thing imho.

...Have just spoken to my Mum and although she was fine about me not going to Nana's funeral she has told me to tell EVERYONE here, both friends and her family that I did go.
This sounds like mum's guilt talking hun imho.

Now I feel mega guilty. My Dad died 7 years ago and I still find that very hard to come to terms with he was only 50! He had been ill with what we thought was chest infections for about 6 weeks but was admitted to hospital with breathing problems and diagnosed with the dreaded 'cancer' on the Monday and given between 9 to 18 months to live! He died 2 bloody days later!!!!! Now his favoutrite brother has gone and so has his Mum and I feel like I can't be bothered to go to the funeral and Im sure Dad would want me to go.
Hun, I lost my dad suddenly a year ago in hospital too. Angel, Dad would be the first one to understand that you didn't go. As well as all this, you've got your own health problems too - you've got to be kind to yourself with this hunnie.:o

My Dad had lots of sisters and only 1 brother. Dad and his only brother were very close, even though the families all live in different parts. My elderly uncle was devastated when Dad died, as we all were. If there was one thing I was sure of, it was that he would make it to the funeral.
Sadly, for various reasons, including health and overwhelming grief, he didn't come.

Now hun, I know how families can run on their expectations, and I was very disappointed that he didn't come. I talked with him on the phone before the funeral and he kept saying he wanted to come so badly and that he'd do all he could to get there. .

It tore at my heart to hear a man in his late seventies, crying like a child, because he felt he'd let Dad and us down. I held no resentment towards him afterwards, when he didn't come. I knew how very much he loved Dad, and how very much they loved each other. The last thing my Dad would have wanted, was to make anyone feel worse or guilty - he knew he was loved.

Our loved ones that leave us wouldn't want us to suffer guilt as well as grief imho hun. Your heart breaks no matter where you are. When it comes down to such sad events, if we just stop ourselves for a moment and think, life can suddenly become very simple. If someone has a problem with it hun, it's their problem. You need to concentrate on grieving yourself.

I dont even like going to the supermarket by myself let alone flying to Dublin and back on my own! Im know Im a grown woman and feel really stupid and pathetic but thats just me
Anyway, Im sorry for ranting on but I needed to get it off my chest.
sorry sorry
You are none of those things angel. :A
Trust me, I'm recovering from agoraphobia and there's nothing pathetic or stupid about it.;)
I hated flying hun and still do! :eek: So what did Tiff do? She only went and married someone in the American Air Force!:rolleyes: I've flown a total of 23 times between UK & Europe and USA, and when they banned smoking on the planes and in airports, I thought I'd spontaneously combust! :eek: Now that's stupid and pathetic!:rolleyes::D
It may well be worth talking to your care team about all this hun and CRUSE are wonderful for free grief counselling - and they'll come to you if that's possible.

I think you've been incredibly brave twinny with all you're going through, and well done and thank you, for posting and sharing with us hunnie! You've got to do what's best for you hun - the last thing you need is a guilt trip. We're here whenever you need us. I'm thinking of you hun. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx