Depression

Tiff_2

flis21 wrote:

Well, that just sums up my life, have just written a hugely long post, introducing myself etc. and the computer messed up, didn't link to the next page and have lost it all!!

Anyway will try to briefly say it again. I wanted to come and join you all, I used to post on this thread a lot, but haven't been here for quite a while.

I have been battling with depression and psychosis since 2004 (well, had it before then, but that was when I got my diagnosis). Am currently off my anti-psychotics, but still taking the anti-depressants.

Just recently things have been bad as I fractured my ankle, feel very useless and have a lot of time to sit around and think about what is wrong with me / my life. Dwelling on things and getting myself wound up.

I hope that you don't mind me rejoining you all and I look forward to getting to know you and chatting.

Hi flis!:hello:
Ouch hun!:o Sorry to hear about your ankle.
Of course you're welcome back here angel - why shouldn't you be? I think the guys on here would be the last ones to have a go at you for not being around recently hun!;) Indeed, it can be looked as a good sign - that you're mangaging in life a bit better - and who would begrudge you that angel?!
I think you hit the nail on the head when you say you've got so much thinking time. That's when it's easy for us to get lost in ourselves. Try and keep busy mentally - letters, puzzles, explore the web, come here, draw, anything to vary the day hun. Something creative is fantastic for relieving stress and expressing yourself hun, whatever way it is. Hope you're on your feet soon angel. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Me again flis!:wave::rolleyes:
They are amazing people here aren't they hun?:T

flis21 wrote:

Thanks Twinny and Ethel, it is nice to know that there are kind non-judgemental people here to talk to.

I hate myself for feeling this way, I know compared to some people I am very lucky, have a job that I enjoy, a husband who I love and who loves me and a loving family. I also have a roof over my head and food in the cupboards etc. But I still can't help sitting around concentrating on all the things that are wrong or that I want to change.
Sweetie, you're only human. It doesn't matter what you have materially angel, you're still entitled to feelings.;)

The main one probably being the way I look. I am very overweight and every time I try to deal with it something happens. For instance joined the gym after Christmas, was going 3 times a week,...
you go girl! I've heard of those gym places and fully intend to join up in my next lifetime!:D

...then fractured ankle on 22nd Jan and can't go for at least 4 months now!! Am going to get my hair cut on Tuesday and am going to have a completely different style, so maybe that will help me feel a bit better.
I hope you're happy with the results hun - we all deserve a treat sometimes.;)

All my clothes are dowdy and tatty, so I know I don't look very good, but I don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes at my current weight, when I am so desperate to lose weight.
I'm sure they're not angel. It's common sense not to splurge on clothes if you're planning on more weight loss angel - but why not treat yourself to a piece of clothing for the part of you that you find it hardest to lose weight from and that way, you'll have some good wear out of it!:money:
If I waited until I'm saz size, I'd never buy anything! Bet she's a size 2 and 3/4, bless her!:p

Also suffer from spots and my skin looks horrid at the minute. All in all just don't like looking in mirrors at all
That could be down to anything from stress to diet to meds to lack of fresh air to being a bit run down, hun. If it's really bothering you, your gp will give you a prescription for something to help it angel - acne itself is considered a health problem now. Can't hurt to ask hun.
I'm sure you look a lot better than you think angel - that's low self-esteem talking. He's my best friend too.;)
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi ethel!:hello:

EthelBloggs wrote:

...and I can' barely walk on account of sliding across the floor doing the splits yesterday, I look like a creaky cowboy getting about the place, hehehehe
I'm going to resist the temptation here...:D Oh no I'm not!
That's what you say ethel! :rotfl:

yeah... ppl cringe when they see me with a knife in my hands.. I'm perfectly safe but it just looks dodgy, lol
:rotfl:
Not long after I'd gotten a carer to help me go out shopping, I needed a new carving knife. So I head into the store with her, do my shopping and go into the kitchen section to look at the knives. I wanted a straight blade for slicing stuff and I was picking them up and holding them into the air to see them better. After I chose one, I noticed she looked really edgy and I said to her, "I am allowed to buy knives you know!" I just couldn't resist it! Poor woman didn't know what to say and was glad to finish her time with me that day.:rolleyes:
Hmmm...just think of the things we could have fun doing, with our mental ill health tags! :rotfl: :rolleyes:
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi rm and !
I'm sorry I'm only just replying to you hun.:o

Rachel_Mac wrote:

Hello all, and thank you for your advice and support.
I still haven't taken the plunge and taken the first pill as I've been so worried about the bit on the info leaflet saying you shouldn't drive unless you're sure you're unaffected. I live in the middle of nowhere and have to drive everyday to school and back. The right moment to risk the side effects just doesn't seem to happen.
I can understand your trepidation hun, but there's never going to be the perfect time is there? It's frustrating when you've got family responsibilities and your health to think of too. Some suggestions hun...

- couldn't OH take them to school for a couple of weeks - or another Mum?
- do you have relatives in the area they could stay with for a week?
- try to look on this as an emergency situation hun - what would happen if, God forbid, you had to be in hospital for two weeks? There would have to be something done with OH, children and work hun - what would happen?
-it's wise to read the side effects rm hun, but remember too, that not everyone has them.;)

I'm also on a course next weekend, away from home for 2 nights, and although it's usually a good break, it's also very social and I really don't have the energy for being with people at the moment. How would I be after a week on the pills?
From what most of you seem to say, it might be just nausea I have to cope with, and I reckon I could handle that.
Ok, leave it until after the course then hun if you have to and if it sets your mind at rest.

My OH is very anti ads, and although he is supportive in lots of other ways, I'm worried that he will leap on any side effects and use it as a reason for me to stop.
As you can probably tell, 'indecision' is my middle name, and I wish my OH would simply support my therapist so I don't have two ideas to choose between.
Yep hun, not everyone agrees with ads but sometimes they are what is needed at that time. Tell OH that your dr wouldn't give them for no reason - they're not sweets.;)
Maybe it would be a good idea to arrange for you & OH to see therapist or dr together, so that they can explain to him what it's like to be depressed and what the ads could do?
If you don't think he would do this, you could also click on this link for various bits of info, including explanations for families and friends of someone with mental ill health and what it's like.
http://www.mind.org.uk/

Also hun - YOU are in charge of your own health - don't be bullied into not taking them if they've been prescribed by a professional. You have to put your own health first or you won't be well enough to be any of the things you are managing to be right now. Please let us know how you get on hun. Take care angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

I probably will start on Saturday. I'll let you know how it goes.

EthelBloggs

mornin tiffster

hehe I like that mischeivous streak in you xxxx

Let_Robinson_Sing

Rachel_Mac wrote:

Hello all, and thank you for your advice and support.

I still haven't taken the plunge and taken the first pill as I've been so worried about the bit on the info leaflet saying you shouldn't drive unless you're sure you're unaffected. I live in the middle of nowhere and have to drive everyday to school and back. The right moment to risk the side effects just doesn't seem to happen.

I'm also on a course next weekend, away from home for 2 nights, and although it's usually a good break, it's also very social and I really don't have the energy for being with people at the moment. How would I be after a week on the pills?

From what most of you seem to say, it might be just nausea I have to cope with, and I reckon I could handle that.

My OH is very anti ads, and although he is supportive in lots of other ways, I'm worried that he will leap on any side effects and use it as a reason for me to stop.

As you can probably tell, 'indecision' is my middle name, and I wish my OH would simply support my therapist so I don't have two ideas to choose between.

I probably will start on Saturday. I'll let you know how it goes.

Do no worry about the ad's, they do have some side effects BUT they do help. When i first started on cipralex 10mg it was a bit horrible at first but the side effects do subside. the worst bit i found was that i hadn't told my parents i was on ad's. Just remember once you've started taken them do not deviate from them, I made that mistake in November 2006 and i was off work and college for a few weeks.
Do not worry about the side effects at all, they are short term and ad's do help.

Take care
xxx

Tiff_2

Hi cc!:hello:
Hope you're well cc hun.

CCStar wrote:

Thank you all for your caring posts - it means a lot, it is a roller coaster enough with selling the house and the rather odd viewers we have.
We had one last night...
She came with her boss and they are older than I am

I have had problems with women who are 10-15 years older than I am - my OH is 12 years older and is fine with that age group. I am fine with older women - 25 years older and women in their teens and 20s and early 30s. There are bad years for nice people and swear people born at certain times don't gel with certain other age groups
Bless you hun. There are good and bad in all generations angel. You recognize the fact yourself that you 'have a problem' with this.

They were friendly to my OH but very cool with me and borderline rude to me in my home. It really upset me and I told my OH that women of that age have been known to do that to me before.
Here I go poking my snout in again hun.:rolleyes: Do you think that maybe you felt a bit over-sensitive cc? There's nothing wrong with that - that's what happens sometimes when we've had bad experiences.
My OH didn't like them either but u put on the show when you sell. But he was in their age group and you delegate the right people for the job.
That's a smart way of doing things angel!:T

I was annoyed they were late and I didn't like them treating me differently as I was younger - like a child, you shouldn't talk unless invited to.
How did they treat you in this way hun? I'm sure they wouldn't have been that rude if they were there to see the house they might have wanted to buy. Do you think they could have picked up on your mood hun and that made them a little wary or maybe it was because OH was taking the lead entirely? Maybe they just didn't know how to react hun.

I had this is a workplace - everyone was around aged 40 when I was 25 and they were all pally together but I was excluded and made to feel an outcast - I was fine with my age group but the OAP club were horrible:(
As an OAP myself hun (42!:eek: ) , we're not all horrible.;) It's a shame you had that experience hun - it's hard when you start anywhere new trying to fit in and find common ground with your new colleagues.

I will take the quiet observer role tomorrow - it is deadly when I am quiet, my OH can be the mouthpiece but I will be the quiet but won't do the BS role but be friendly at the same time - businesslike and I am sick of BS from viewers - good hard action is what will turn me on.
You'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar angel - good plan.:T Just be yourself angel.;)
There's nothing worse than being more artificial than Jordan's boobies!;)
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi cat!

Cat72 wrote:

Things started to wrong and escalated this morning.I phoned my OH at work as I was really angry at him and started to shout at him .Now Im just limp, I started to cry when I was on the phone to him and have been crying ever since.I and so many things to do this morning and I have just dropped everything- i dont feel I can do them or anything.any more. Uusally I am so committed & make sure everything gets done that needs to & worry if it doesnt.Part of me is still worrying that I should be doing them and part has just gave up. I dont know who to contact and I dont know what to do .I have went back to bed and am feelig very aggitated and upset, and keep crying. I feel really stupid, -I have suffered depression for several years on & off and feel like this is a big crash again.

The good thing here angel, is that you've recognized what the problem is - you can feel yourself slipping. I'm glad you posted hun - I'm sure the guys here have given you excellent advice.:T
There's nothing stupid about depression angel.
You owe it to yourself now, to make an appointment to see your dr hun and to get the support and help you need and know you can get. Don't put off your recovery any longer hun. Let us know how you get on - there's always some kind soul here '' on duty". :T;)
Take care angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Morning pheasants!:hello:
Hope we're all well today guys? I'm on page 130, so I'm slowly getting there!:D :rolleyes:
To everyone with appointments today - good luck and to you all!
I've actually got to go for an ECG today - that's for the heart, not the brain - they've given up on that!:rotfl:


"See doc? Healthy pink nose, pink tongue!"

As well as to the rest of the family, I just want to say sorry to lrs for still not having replied to you yet hun.:o I could really relate to a lot of what you were saying. I will get back to you hun asap!;)
Right off to the vets for Tiffy then! :rolleyes:
Huge Tiff hugs to all for a great Friday. Play nicely now guys!;)
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

EthelBloggs wrote:

mornin tiffster

hehe I like that mischeivous streak in you xxxx

Hey ethel hun!:j
If you only knew ethel - if only you knew!!!
I think I could make the Mad Hatter look normal when I'm in my minxy Tiffy moods!:D
Trouble is, I can have a quite dry and sarcastic sense of humour at times :rolleyes: and some people don't get it and wonder if I'm having a go at them, but I'm not a nasty person and wouldn't do that. So I try and rein it in here when I can.;)
How's you angel?
Much Love,
Tiff xxx