Difficult Situation

ellay864

In many places now I've seen signs suggesting that boys above the age of 6 or 7 should use the gents toilet rather than the ladies. I do have some sympathy with MIL in this story - I became a single mum when my boys were 7 and 5 and there were times when I did leave them momentarily. But I always told them where I was going and why, they had been well drilled into never going off with anybody, regardless if it was somebody they knew or not. And if anybody tried to make them go they had to shout loudly preferably to a female member of staff. They were sensible and I knew I could trust them on the odd occasion it happened. And when DS1 was at an age I couldn't take him into ladies loos he knew to stay right close to the door, and of course I waited outside when he went into the gents (or occasionally I'd manage to catch another dad taking his own son in who could keep an eye for me)
Personally I find it quite surprising that you haven't drilled the stranger danger thing into him by the age of 6, or even the notion of going with other people he knows without checking with you first.

janninew

The one thing I find worrying as others have mentioned is the 6 year old boy with no concept of stranger danger yet. Also an 8 year old girl who is that involved in her handheld games that she doesn't know what is going on around her?!

mountainofdebt

*Louise* wrote: »

Maybe we do wrap our kids up in cotton wool a bit too much, but when you look at the alternative.....:eek:

But surey this is the two extremes of the arguement?

Wrapping our kids up in cotton wool so they have no 'street sense' or being abandoned and growing up like feral animals?

Surely the half way house is the better option?

esmy

Out of interest, what would those who believe MIL shouldn't have left the children suggest a man (Dad/Grandad) do with a 6 yr old girl if he was in sole charge and needed the loo? I bet there aren't many who would suggest he take them in to the gents. Just curious. Will check later what OH did when he took our DDs out when they were small - never considered it before.

seven-day-weekend

Lotus-eater wrote: »

There's much less of a risk actually, because every bloke on his own who talks to a kid is looked at as a pedo.
I love kids, I speak to them, wave and make silly faces at them all the time, often I get looked at as though I have something wrong with me by the parents, even when I have my own kids with me.
I don't care tbh, I'm not going to change the way I am, just because the whole nation is pedo mad.

A man after my husband's heart.

He smiles at a little girl, or admires her pretty dress, and parents glare at him as though he's the devil incarnate.

I agree we have to be careful, but it is very sad when a perfectly ordinary husband and father can't sdpeak to children without being suspected of heinous motives.

To the OP, I think it was a little unwise to ask 'a lorry driver', but I think if she had explained to the children that she ws just going back into the toilet to get her phone, that she would be only a few minutes and just to wait for her and not go away from their table, that would not have been a problem.

gratefulforhelp_2

Marisco wrote: »

I think you're right there!! I remember years ago, when I was about 9/10, and playing out, running along the top of a low wall (about 3/4 foot) not watching where I was going, I fell off the wall into a patch of nettles!!!:eek: Taught me a valuable lesson, always look where you're going!!!

Ha ha, I used to run along the same (kind of) wall every morning, and only once when I lost concentration, did I fall in the nettles:rotfl:

Zoetoes

esmy wrote: »

Out of interest, what would those who believe MIL shouldn't have left the children suggest a man (Dad/Grandad) do with a 6 yr old girl if he was in sole charge and needed the loo? I bet there aren't many who would suggest he take them in to the gents. Just curious. Will check later what OH did when he took our DDs out when they were small - never considered it before.

It's difficult isn't it? Perhaps use the disabled toilet? I really don't know what would be appropriate.

Lotus-eater

Zoetoes wrote: »

It's difficult isn't it? Perhaps use the disabled toilet? I really don't know what would be appropriate.

I use the disabled toilet with my 2 sometimes. I have an 8 and 2 year old, I can't take the 8 year old girl into the mens, but I must admit I don't like leaving her outside on her own, especially if I have the 2 yr old with me, which I do have to take into the mens, but it takes me longer to do it with him, which means the DD is outside longer.
Yet last time I came out of the disabled toilet with them both, I got a nasty look and "you've been long enough, nice disability!" from a young guy in a wheelchair.

Oops

make_me_wise

esmy wrote: »

Out of interest, what would those who believe MIL shouldn't have left the children suggest a man (Dad/Grandad) do with a 6 yr old girl if he was in sole charge and needed the loo? I bet there aren't many who would suggest he take them in to the gents. Just curious. Will check later what OH did when he took our DDs out when they were small - never considered it before.

The grandfather could go to one of the big baby/family toilets and stand outside whilst the girl goes in. Then go in himself whilst the girl stands bang outside the door, with the door closed but not locked. He could talk to her the whole time and tell her to talk back to him so he knows she is safe and okay.

If by chance someone was stupid enough to try and snatch a kid stood bang outside a loo chatting to their grandparent, Id hope the kid would scream blue murder. Grandad could then fly off that seat, yank his trousers up and run out after her.

Valli

Mojisola wrote: »

This is excellent advice. I expect you do it at home as well - what if a fire started, etc? We used to.

People who safely come out of dangerous situations are usually those who have rehearsed "what if?" It's recommended that you envisage the way from your airplane seat to the emergency exits, walk the route from your hotel room to the fire exits, and so on.

until you find your kids on the flat roof because they are 'practising':rotfl:DD was 3; DS 5 - I dare not go upstairs to pull her in through the window in case she fell off - she couldn't climb in on her own - eventually DS (who had managed to climb back in) handed her the step stool from the bathroom - I stayed outside in case I needed to break her fall...