Difficult Situation

shelley_crow

As I explained before, I doubt my 6 year old would scream as he doesn't see strangers as a potential threat, yet. If the lorry driver had said that his nan had told him to go with the driver, he wouldn't question it. Son's cousin is always glued to her Nintendo DS, I doubt she would have noticed, lol.

IIRC JB got seperated from his mom after she got distracted and lost him in a split second. Son's nan's intention was to leave them for that few minutes. I might have rambled but my point is that I don't place any faith in spectator involvement, he shouldn't have been left in the first place.

FBaby

Well, if it is trully the case that your son would have followed anyone and the 8 year old cousin wouldn't have noticed, then I can understand your concern despite the very very low likelihood of it happening, but in this case, it is indeed time that he is tought the whole concept of being wary of stangers.

Yes, the ferry episode was very scary, but I think that is just instinctive parental response. As soon as I tell my friends this story, then come up with one of their own however protective they are. It is just natural, but it doesn't mean that whilst we were freaking out, our children were genuinely in danger.

My 11 year old is started secondary school in September and will be walking on her own to school. It is a main road in a medium size town, school 8 minutes away. She is mature, responsible, not frightened at all. Been through the whole walk away from the curve, don't talk to stanger, make sure cars have stopped before you cross the road, she will have a mobile and still I am freaking out at the prospect and I'm sure will ask her to text as soon as she gets to school and back home, then there will be one day she forgets and my heart will start beating faster until I get a hold of her, but again, that reaction will thankfully not be a reflection of the danger she will trully be in!

j.e.j.

We never really know EXACTLY what went on in these infamous cases. The media say so many things, and events get exaggerated/blown out of proportion or just plain invented! I have heard that it was a 'split second' that JB was away from his mother. I have also heard that he was out of her sight, into another shop and into another one after that before she realised he was missing. In these awful tragic cases facts do get distorted. We the public will never know.

And as a result of these high profile cases people like yourself are now paranoid and terrified about something happening to their kids. It's very sad.

flippin36

Just point out in the nicest possible way that your son was very worried about being left as he hasn't ever been left in a public place before. Say to her that he was worried about her not coming back that you know he was looked after perfectly ok but he's just not at that stage/maturity yet. If you do it in a light hearted way with a smile on your face she will get the message that it had effected her grandson more than she realised, without it looking like you are questioning her judgement. (We all get it wrong occassionally, especially when we are stressed we just need someone to kindly nudge us in the right direction)

Don't make this into a big hostility between you when it can be easily solved. You may have to do a bit of acting as to how concerned you really were! Put the emphasis on how worried the little boy was rather than how worried you were.

mildred1978

Marisco wrote: »

you realise how it used to be, but is not like that now.

There's no greater risk now than there was during the 60s and 70s. The paranoia is down to rolling 24/7 news.

Lotus-eater

mildred1978 wrote: »

There's no greater risk now than there was during the 60s and 70s. The paranoia is down to rolling 24/7 news.

There's much less of a risk actually, because every bloke on his own who talks to a kid is looked at as a pedo.
I love kids, I speak to them, wave and make silly faces at them all the time, often I get looked at as though I have something wrong with me by the parents, even when I have my own kids with me.
I don't care tbh, I'm not going to change the way I am, just because the whole nation is pedo mad.

gratefulforhelp_2

martinthebandit wrote: »

As an aside how did you expect her to go to the loo while she had them for a day anyway?

shelley_crow wrote: »

When any of them needed the loo, they all went into the ladies together.

crazyguy wrote: »

Gratefulforhelp,
You only have two options though
one, to make her understand and see sense and the actual dangers involved
two, dont allow her to have the kids, going to cause further problems and resentment

Agreed. At least she could let it lie, but I wouldn't

There is also (for me) a lack of apparent feeling in the MIL that because they're not her kids, she should err on the side of caution.

I always do when the kids' friends are with me.

gratefulforhelp_2

Lotus-eater wrote: »

There's much less of a risk actually, because every bloke on his own who talks to a kid is looked at as a pedo.
I love kids, I speak to them, wave and make silly faces at them all the time, often I get looked at as though I have something wrong with me by the parents, even when I have my own kids with me.
I don't care tbh, I'm not going to change the way I am, just because the whole nation is pedo mad.

DH is just the same. You have just as much right as women to do that.

Mojisola

Lotus-eater wrote: »

There's much less of a risk actually, because every bloke on his own who talks to a kid is looked at as a pedo.
I love kids, I speak to them, wave and make silly faces at them all the time, often I get looked at as though I have something wrong with me by the parents, even when I have my own kids with me.
I don't care tbh, I'm not going to change the way I am, just because the whole nation is pedo mad.

My Dad is the same and he gets nasty looks from some parents. He's very elderly, uses a crutch and couldn't get himself anywhere in a hurry, let alone steal away someone's child!

Ms_Chocaholic

Just a thought ... and no-one appears to have mentioned it yet, how did the MIL use the toilet in the first place, she must have left the children somewhere when she went in there too