Difficult Situation

FatVonD

Were they locked in the car with someone 'keeping an eye' or was the car unlocked, I think that would make a difference to me?

crazyguy

FatVonD wrote: »

Were they locked in the car with someone 'keeping an eye' or was the car unlocked, I think that would make a difference to me?

They were in the cafe

whitewing

I lost my son in Ikea once, and it was horrible to realise just how far away he could have been very quickly if someone had taken him, being so close to the motorway.

I would not let her have the youngest until he's older.

I think it is partly generational and partly laziness. She probably wouldn't have left just the one child ie cousin on his own or son on his own. It wouldn't have been that difficult to take them both with her. I doubt she would do it again if she knows you are unhappy.

Is she likely to have him again anyway this year? If not, stop brooding about it. Next holidays, son will be a little older, and you can start telling him to make sure he stays with granny at all times (except the loos, maybe).

shelley_crow

I don't understand why she would have risked it in the first place, to me the chance you gave of one in a million of having a child disappear is one too many, especially when it's someone else's child you are taking liberties with. it's not something i would do for the sake of a ten pound phone, or any material goods for that matter. His cousin is 8 but is small for her age.

When any of them needed the loo, they all went into the ladies together.

Marisco

I can certainly understand where MIL is coming from. It's not something I'd personally do now, but don't forget in the 60's and 70's we used to leave the prams outside the shops when we went inside shopping. I remember when I'd just had my son (1974) I went to the Post Office, came out and went home, but there was something in the back of mind I knew I'd forgotton. It was only when I got home I realised it was my son!!! I ran back, and he was still fast asleep in the pram outside the Post Office!!!

Rather than go in all guns blazing, just explain that you'd rather the kids were not left alone for any reason, and you realise how it used to be, but is not like that now. Although I must admit, I do sometimes think people are too overprotected these days, and are not allowed to do anything, but that's a different thread

shelley_crow

Marisco wrote: »

I can certainly understand where MIL is coming from. It's not something I'd personally do now, but don't forget in the 60's and 70's we used to leave the prams outside the shops when we went inside shopping. I remember when I'd just had my son (1974) I went to the Post Office, came out and went home, but there was something in the back of mind I knew I'd forgotton. It was only when I got home I realised it was my son!!! I ran back, and he was still fast asleep in the pram outside the Post Office!!!

Rather than go in all guns blazing, just explain that you'd rather the kids were not left alone for any reason, and you realise how it used to be, but is not like that now. Although I must admit, I do sometimes think people are too overprotected these days, and are not allowed to do anything, but that's a different thread

You must have been in a panic! If he was older it probably wouldn't bother me so much. I qualified as a social worker last year and have seen the worst of human behaviour towards children, maybe that's why it makes it so hard to be trusting of strangers.

j.e.j.

Marisco wrote: »

I remember when I'd just had my son (1974) I went to the Post Office, came out and went home, but there was something in the back of mind I knew I'd forgotton. It was only when I got home I realised it was my son!!! I ran back, and he was still fast asleep in the pram outside the Post Office!!!

:rotfl:
oh dear!

OP, just say to MiL that you're worried about something happening and could she not leave the kids unattended. However real or imagined the perceived dangers, it's your child and you need to be comfortable that he's being looked after all the time.

FWIW though, yes you do hear some shocking stories in the news, but the fact that they make the headlines does stongly imply that those cases are rare. Most people ARE ok, and I'm sure the lorry driver was fine

maryotuam

I think you might be over reacting a bit. The only thing I would have done differently in her shoes is to ask a woman, preferably one sitting with her own kids. I'm sure if you discuss it with her she would take your views on board as she knows you will be grilling your child after every visit in the future.

FBaby

shelley_crow wrote: »

I don't understand why she would have risked it in the first place, to me the chance you gave of one in a million of having a child disappear is one too many, especially when it's someone else's child you are taking liberties with. it's not something i would do for the sake of a ten pound phone, or any material goods for that matter. His cousin is 8 but is small for her age.

When any of them needed the loo, they all went into the ladies together.

Then you should make sure your children sleep in your bedroom, because by being in their own bedroom, there is a 1 in a million chance that they could be trapped in their bedroom if a fire started in the night...

I'm sure you would think this quite absurb (at least I hope!!). What your MIL did is no different...

RAS

Just remember that in reality the old days were just as dangerous as now,,except that these days the whole world hears about an event that would have only been known to very locally and even the local papers would probably have thought twice about publishing.