Difficult Situation

shelley_crow

FBaby wrote: »

Then you should make sure your children sleep in your bedroom, because by being in their own bedroom, there is a 1 in a million chance that they could be trapped in their bedroom if a fire started in the night...

I'm sure you would think this quite absurb (at least I hope!!). What your MIL did is no different...

We have lots of smoke alarms, CO detectors and adequate fire plans and escape routes in place, so this isn't a concern :rotfl:

Lotus-eater

It's a bit of a difficult, spur of the moment one, just thinking about how I'd feel if I'd just bought expensive motorway service food, sat down then realised I'd left my phone in the toilet, both phone and food had a very high chance of disappearing in just a couple of minutes, so time was of the essence.

I certainly know my parents wouldn't have hesitated in asking someone, not sure what I would have done. I think left a 6 and 8 year old, they're not babies and have a voice and mind of their own, I would only have been out of sight for a minute, I can't believe anything would happen in that time. They're were probably other people around who heard her asking the guy to look after them. It's not like they would have let him just pick them up and walk out and no way would they have gone with them. She probably told them not to move anyway.

I agree with you about seeing the worst in people, but as kids grow up they need to learn the importance of being and standing on their own two feet. I don't think they were too young for this.

FBaby

shelley_crow wrote: »

We have lots of smoke alarms, CO detectors and adequate fire plans and escape routes in place, so this isn't a concern :rotfl:

Just as I imagine there were a lot of people in the cafe who I'm sure would have raised the alert if they heard kids screaming or dragged by a nasty man.....

FBaby

I really think that it's not about the kids but about how the adult feels. When my son was 4 or 5, I left him 20 seconds on a ferry when we were on our way back from France to take my eldest to the toilet. I asked him to come with us, he didn't want to, said he would seat there and wait for us. We couldn't find the toilets so it took a little longer (maybe 1 mn) when we got back, he wasn't there and I just panic, imagined the worse etc... 2 minutes later, he came out of the toilets which were much closer... he had decided he needed them too and assumed that we had gone to the closest ones... he happened to be cleverer than I and found them... These were the 2 worse minutes of my life and after that would let him out of my sight for quite some time, but that's because of how I felt, my son wasn't in more danger than he is when he walks next to me on the pavement and a car could plough through us at any time...

shelley_crow

FBaby wrote: »

Just as I imagine there were a lot of people in the cafe who I'm sure would have raised the alert if they heard kids screaming or dragged by a nasty man.....

A simple inquiry from passersby on the child crying for his mom would have revealed that the boys that took jamie bulger weren't related to him, tragically that never happened either.

ETanny

shelley_crow wrote: »

when she told me she doesn't see anything wrong with what she did, she said she really wanted to get her phone back! I don't want to fall out with her but I don't know if I trust her to keep my children safe when they are with her.

If my MIL replied with that I would have to tell her (in maybe not nice terms!) That while she had that attitude she would be no longer trusted to take my child on days out.

Marisco

shelley_crow wrote: »

You must have been in a panic! .

Not really, no. But it was lunch time and he'd have started screaming for his bottle!!! It's difficult to explain to younger people (makes me sound 110!!!:eek:) and no way do I mean to sound patronising, but it was different years ago ("I remember when this was all fields" ) We were able to leave kids outside shops with no fear of them getting snatched, the only nonces were those within families. There was far less "suspicion" of strangers than there is now.

I always taught my kids not to speak to strangers, but I remember one incident with my daughter (born 1969) We lived in a terraced house that opened straight onto the pavement, and she was a very friendly kid, and used to sit on the doorstep if I was busy doing something. Anyway, she used to say "hiya" to everyone passing, which was a very busy street, as it was the main route to the beach. I tried to explain to her (she must have been about 3/4 at the time) that it was not a good idea to speak to everyone.

She said OK and that was that. Anyway, a neighbour passed (they all knew her as she was so friendly) and said "hello Marisco jn" and she turned round and said "my mammy said I can't talk to you"!!! Well, I flew to the front door and explained hurriedly!!! Luckily the neighbour took it in good part!! But things were so much easier then, and kids had so much more freedom. I feel dammed sorry for kids these day, that they cannot enjoy the same simple pleasures that myself and my kids enjoyed. I'll stop now, as I'm in danger of saying how I miss the dinosaurs

ETanny

martinthebandit wrote: »

As an aside how did you expect her to go to the loo while she had them for a day anyway?

When I go to the toilet, when I am out on my own with my child, I take her with me. I would NEVER dream on leaving my child while I nipped to the toilet.

shelley_crow

FBaby wrote: »

I really think that it's not about the kids but about how the adult feels. When my son was 4 or 5, I left him 20 seconds on a ferry when we were on our way back from France to take my eldest to the toilet. I asked him to come with us, he didn't want to, said he would seat there and wait for us. We couldn't find the toilets so it took a little longer (maybe 1 mn) when we got back, he wasn't there and I just panic, imagined the worse etc... 2 minutes later, he came out of the toilets which were much closer... he had decided he needed them too and assumed that we had gone to the closest ones... he happened to be cleverer than I and found them... These were the 2 worse minutes of my life and after that would let him out of my sight for quite some time, but that's because of how I felt, my son wasn't in more danger than he is when he walks next to me on the pavement and a car could plough through us at any time...

That must have been horrible, it's mad how your heart stops for a second until you realise they're ok. My son's never wondered off, he was severely shy as a toddler and wouldn't go anywhere without us. He's not shy anymore thankfully but hasn't quite grasped the stranger danger concept that they are teaching his year at school and we are working with him at home. He's not going to be a child that's never allowed to do anything, I will be happy for him to go and play outside with his friends without me as I used to, just not yet.

Thanks for everyone's advice, I'll hve a word with her whenever I see her next x

FBaby

shelley_crow wrote: »

A simple inquiry from passersby on the child crying for his mom would have revealed that the boys that took jamie bulger weren't related to him, tragically that never happened either.

You can't compare the two situations. A 2 year old crying with older children is nothing unusual, a 6 and 8 year old screaming, help I am being kidnapped would expectingly yield a very different response.

The thing is, JB WAS with his mother and yet it happened, which shows that it is not about the situation, but the horribly unfortunate case of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Poor JB was the 1 in millions...