Do we expect too much from relationships?

VestanPance

FattyBettyBoo wrote: »

If that were true I wouldn't have a dilema - its that fact that he's an amazing person that makes my situation so difficult.

I wasn't thinking of your situation with that one, just the numerous threads where I sit and read about blokes doing all sorts of stuff and wondering why on earth anyone would put up with such behaviour. The only part that applied was the not being past it aged 26 or over!

If you think he's amazing why the boredom? Is it you don't find him interesting and a bit dull, or are you both in some sort of rut/routine that could be fixed? If it's getting stuck in a routine that could be easily fixed.

The fact you don't share a sense of humour seems odd to me, but that is maybe personal to me as I tend to connect with most folk based on sharing a sense of humour.

euronorris

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I could forgive the gay !!!!!!, but FGS WOW......? Romance killer.

WoW will always hold a soft spot in my heart for me, as that is how OH and I used to spend time together when we were still doing the long distance thing.

I know it's not the same as going out together, but we didn't have that option then, so the game was a way for us to do something together.

Lotus-eater

euronorris wrote: »

WoW will always hold a soft spot in my heart for me, as that is how OH and I used to spend time together when we were still doing the long distance thing.

I know it's not the same as going out together, but we didn't have that option then, so the game was a way for us to do something together.

When we had a long distance relationship, it was all long phone calls (wink wink, know what I mean ), now I expect it would be video skype, I don't think WoW is exactly the same

Why is it WoW comes up so often as a problem in relationships on here, it must be destroying thousands of marriages.

euronorris

Lotus-eater wrote: »

When we had a long distance relationship, it was all long phone calls (wink wink, know what I mean ), now I expect it would be video skype, I don't think WoW is exactly the same

Why is it WoW comes up so often as a problem in relationships on here, it must be destroying thousands of marriages.

Haha, we did do that also, but we wanted to be able to share something else together too. Plus, Skype and MSN were always playing up. Drove me mad! :mad:

WoW provides a distraction to people who are trying to avoid issues in their relationships or lives. I don't think the game is the problem, people are. If they didn't play WoW, they'd find another way to avoid their issues.

It can be addictive though. But again, I think if you have an addictive personality, you'll get addicted, and if you don't, you won't.

BugglyB

For what its worth, I was only using world of warcraft as an example, not to suggest anyone who plays it is a rubbish partner

layton55

Tish_P wrote: »

Speaking for myself, I couldn't be with someone who didn't share my sense of humour. If you're bored after three years how will it be after thirty?

People might expect too much from relationships in general - I don't know. However, if your mum sees being loyal and not hurting you as unusually wonderful features meaning that you should cling to this fellow for dear life, rather than the ground rules that ought to be expected of anyone, I shouldn't think she's one of them.

I think our parents come from a different era. they married because it was the done thing back then and some obviously really were in love but now my mum, aunties, older cousins tell me 'it's better to marry someone who love you more than you love them' but i refuse to accept that. call me naive and optimistic but if i die alone having not found that person then so be it. at least i never settled to a life of boredom, resentment.

Jinx

I think you should let your partner go find someone who thinks he is 'the one'.... That way you can be single so you too can find the right person. Which you cant if you are attached obviously. And if you aren't sure then he isn't the right person for you.

I do believe that we do ask too much of people; no one person can be 'everything' to another - its not healthy.

Reverbe

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I could forgive the gay !!!!!!, but FGS WOW......? Romance killer.

ditto. when you are lying on the bed trying to seduce and hes in the corner with his back turned on WOW....its not ideal...

(personal experience)

Pee

If I was you I would think about this over a longer period.

For a short period of time, for whatever reason, I can find fault in my relationship. (I have to say I think it's mainly that I'm hormonal and if this coincides with my boyfriend getting stroppy...)

I wouldn't say that we complete one another at all. We are two perfectly complete individuals in our own right. But life is better for both of us with the other one. For some of the time we are the only person the other has to lean on, we face our problems together and we help one another solve our problems, sometimes just by venting to one another.

I would say that the just being together in a relationship is what is important, the spending time together, maybe in the pub, maybe over a meal, maybe reading a book at home.

It is true though that what one person needs another one doesn't. I know lots of people who would not fit with my boyfriend, for whom he would not be Mr Right at all, and I can probably think of more men for whom I would not be Ms Right, yet together, we work.

I think it's very easy for single people to have expectations of someone who is perfect when really all we need is perfect for us.

fs110

Well presumably Carrie Bradshaw is in Sex and the City jdging by all the references. (Mr Big ... thats not his real name ... is it?)

Moomin, my long term relationship ended last year without being given a reason but i think my gf thought i was 'boring' ('not interesting enough'). If she had talked to me we could have tried to work it out by spending time doing a 'fun' thing she liked and then a 'fun' (or 'boring') thing i liked.

Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. After 3 years surely you owe him that much.

i dont think you should give up on a relationship lightly. Equally i dont think you should settle. Communicate, see if there is anything to be worked out and if there is then put 100% into seeing if it actually can be worked out. If not you can both walk away, knowing you gave it your all.

Good luck.