Who should pay for dresses?

Scotsbride

I agree with OPs about you only paying for your dress if you sister pays for her for your wedding providing that they are going to work out about the same price wise otherwise the bride should pick up the difference

purple.sarah

Kildare wrote: »

Out of interest, how many of you are also paying for the groomsmens suit hire??

Certainly all the wedding's my OH has been involved in he's always had to buy or pay the hire for the suit. And at ours it was my OH who stipulated that the BM's should pay for the dresses as why should the guys pay and the girls not pay.

On the cash for a gift debate, I think its rude to ask for cash. If you don't want 3 toasters then have a gift list or vouchers (if you are saving for a larger item). Personally I don't like giving cash when I know its going towards someones honeymoon - why would I pay towards someone having an OTT holiday - but that's just my personal opinion and travel has never been important to me

At the end of the day we are all different and we know what works within our family / circle of friends.

We're paying for the groomsmens suits 'cos we thought it was unfair to pay for the girls and not the guys. If you think it's rude to ask for cash what do you think you are asking your attendants for?

abis21

I had 3 bridesmaids, my daughter, who I paid for. My sister and my best friend paid for their own dresses. They were given a colour and were able to pick anything they wanted within that colour.

We had a small budget, and my dress was only £104. My sister earns a lot of money and I think the dress she chose for herself was a similar amount to mine. She actually picked a different shade of colour than what I was wanting really. Her colour was turquoise and it was a bluey type of turquoise, whereas she picked a jade green colour. I did have a little stress out - but not to her, as she paid so how on earth could I say well I don't really want you to wear that...

In the end, it didn't matter, and everything was perfect. But being a control freak, I hated not being able to control it and was very worried about it.

My best friend said she was more than happy to pay as she would be buying a new dress anyway. She also took 2 days off work to help me on the run up to the wedding. Am so incredibly grateful for her help, she was amazing with every single thing. But we're best friends, and thats what we do. I would do exactly the same for her.

We paid for the best man's suit, as my hubby was his best man years ago, and his suit was paid for so he wanted to follow the same tradition.

I've only ever been a bridesmaid once when I was 12 so no idea who paid for my dress. I presume it was the bride/groom tho as I think their parents footed most of the bill and it was quite a grand wedding.

I think it depends on the circumstances on who should pay to be honest. I don't think there is a black and white answer to it. I think the OP should bring it up with her sister and discuss her worries about it.

claire16c

Kildare wrote: »

Out of interest, how many of you are also paying for the groomsmens suit hire??

Certainly all the wedding's my OH has been involved in he's always had to buy or pay the hire for the suit. And at ours it was my OH who stipulated that the BM's should pay for the dresses as why should the guys pay and the girls not pay.

On the cash for a gift debate, I think its rude to ask for cash. If you don't want 3 toasters then have a gift list or vouchers (if you are saving for a larger item). Personally I don't like giving cash when I know its going towards someones honeymoon - why would I pay towards someone having an OTT holiday - but that's just my personal opinion and travel has never been important to me

At the end of the day we are all different and we know what works within our family / circle of friends.

So you think its rude for people to ask for cash (even though they may already have a house full of things therefore a giftlist is useless and any money that people might wish to spend on them would be much wiser spent on a honeymoon as who is to say there is even a larger item they are saving for??- and I dont know why it has to be an 'OTT holiday', travel is important and gives you a wider view of the world) but its fine for you to ask for cash from your groomsmen and bridesmaids?

I paid for all of my wedding parties outfits, men and women. I paid for the bridesmaid hair on the day, the shoes, bought the bridesmaids a evening bag to match the dress, everything.

If I couldnt afford to do that then I would not have asked them. I would have been so embarrassed to ask someone to be my bridesmaid because I apparently think so much of them, yet because Ive spent all my money on other things at my wedding I couldnt afford their outfit which I was choosing.

People should be careful about asking people to pay for their own outfits, they might end up with no wedding party at all.

If you are having a budget wedding, and cant afford to buy anyone an outfit, then maybe just ask people to be bridesmaids but dont make them wear a specific dress, they can just turn up in what they like.

Giddytimes

When I was a bridesmaid my friend paid for our dresses but we bought our own shoes (as these could be worn again). We returned the dresses to her after the ceremony so they could be sold.

I would never expect my bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. In my opinion it's unfair to ask people to splash money to be part of your big day, people feel obliged to spend the money when they may not be able to afford to.

Hollie84

Kildare wrote: »

Out of interest, how many of you are also paying for the groomsmens suit hire??

Certainly all the wedding's my OH has been involved in he's always had to buy or pay the hire for the suit. And at ours it was my OH who stipulated that the BM's should pay for the dresses as why should the guys pay and the girls not pay.

On the cash for a gift debate, I think its rude to ask for cash. If you don't want 3 toasters then have a gift list or vouchers (if you are saving for a larger item). Personally I don't like giving cash when I know its going towards someones honeymoon - why would I pay towards someone having an OTT holiday - but that's just my personal opinion and travel has never been important to me

At the end of the day we are all different and we know what works within our family / circle of friends.

were paying for my dad and best man,wouldnt think twice about asking them to pay

Hollie84

claire16c wrote: »

So you think its rude for people to ask for cash (even though they may already have a house full of things therefore a giftlist is useless and any money that people might wish to spend on them would be much wiser spent on a honeymoon as who is to say there is even a larger item they are saving for??- and I dont know why it has to be an 'OTT holiday', travel is important and gives you a wider view of the world) but its fine for you to ask for cash from your groomsmen and bridesmaids?

I agree.
Im having a wishing well,i dont think its wrong to ask and you arnt really saying give me money,u incorporate it in a poem,if they dont want to give u money they dont have to give u anything.i havnt been away for 8yrs,H2B 10yrs,we havnt ever been away together just us since we met so we want an us time week away in the sun.Ours wont be OTT just a week in spain or somewhere a last min deal.most weddings do the wishing well these days,its not like years ago when couples got married before living together

ennui

I think it's a lot less rude to ask a bridesmaid to pay for a dress than it is to expect skint friends and family to shell out for flights and hotels. Getting married abroad and expecting those who can ill afford it to pay the full costs of a holiday in order to be there is rotten. (It's different of course if you don't expect them to be there.)

I was a bridesmaid a couple of weeks ago. The bride paid for our dresses and hair-dos and we paid for our own shoes and accessories. But I wouldn't have traded the experience for anything, and if she had been struggling budget-wise I'd have been happy to buy my dress.

redhead122

I had 4 bridesmaids (2 adult & 2 children) we paid for their dresses, hair & make up, accessories and for the younger ones shoes. The adult ones wanted to pay for their shoes and alterations as they felt bad for how much I'd spent on them already bless them.

We paid for hire of suits for the best man, fathers of the bride and groom and hired matching ties and handkerchiefs for the ushers as they had black work suits already.

I have been a bridesmaid 4 times and was never asked to pay for my dress and all fellow brides I know have done the same and paid for their bridesmaids.

I just budgeted for it, then shopped around to get the dresses/accessories for a price we could afford.

skintmumof2

Im being a bridesmaid next year for the first time. My dress is £140. I think i was expected to pay for it so i said i can not afford it so wouldnt be bridesmaid then they (family) offered to pay for it. They have paid for my daughters BM dress but we have to pay for my partners groomsmen suit hire £89 and my 5 year old sons suit hire at £79!! I dont think its fair they pay for my daughters but not for my sons but do i say so? As i dont want to cause arguements. Weddings are really expensive thats why my partner and i have never married, and dont look lik we will with all these family weddings and having to pay for outfits!